Redemption

When I was younger and it was the 90’s, this thing called the internet showed up and a myriad or wide-eyed, speculative ideas poured from people as to what was possible, and in some contrast, there was just as many fears – some founded and some not – being thrown around just as hard.

One of those founded fears that I recall being talked about in class, was online conduct, and how people would be able to access things you said (in ‘chat rooms’ at the time) years after you said them, and hold them against you, which ‘could be an issue if you ever wanted to be a politician or a public figure.’ seems that fear was pretty rational.

Now, I’m not saying it’s right so much as I’m saying it’s true – that’s clearly a very real thing.

I don’t want to talk about Cancel culture.
I want to talk about redemption.

There are times in all of our lives when we’ve made regrettable decisions. We’ve hurt people, we’ve abused our friends, our family, and ourselves. We’ve lied and used words we shouldn’t have used that have had a lasting affect on people. We’ve rung bells we can’t un-ring.

And hopefully…

We’ve redeemed ourselves.
We’ve apologized and made peace.
Changed behaviors.
Some people don’t, of course. Changing is a choice, but so is staying the same.
For many of us; though, we likely no longer even resemble the person we once were who said and did those things. So the question becomes: Should our former selves be held to a more modern standard?

This is where forgiveness and redemption meet.

I believe when you apologize or ask for forgiveness, you are not asking someone to ‘get over’ your error. Rather, what you are asking for is permission to stop shouldering the burden of your behavior. The affected parties CAN grant you this permission if they deem it appropriate, but they might not choose to do so on the timeline that you’ve chosen. They might need more time. They might need to observe that you’ve changed before they can do that. And honestly, they might never grant you that – and that is their part of the story.

Personally, I’m hoping to make amends with someone who’s feelings I was reckless with over a decade ago. It’s been a long road and I’m confident that I can show him that I’m not who I used to be anymore, and his willingness to let me take a step closer indicates to me that he’s done some growing and changing, too. This won’t happen immediately but I keep that situation in mind. He’s not the only person I’ve done this to, but I’ve managed to get to a place of mutual respect with the others, even if the issues were never directly addressed in conversation. Perhaps they should be.

Fitness this week has been pretty wild. Following my swimming lesson with my pal Clay, I’m moving much quicker through the water and although I’ve still got improvements to make, I’m excited to watch myself improve. Aside from that, the way my schedule worked out this week meant having a BRick (bike & run) workout on both Saturday and Tuesday – both of which were punishing, but came with a great feeling of accomplishment. Truthfully, I feel like I can do this half-olympic triathlon any day now, but I am dedicated to completing the training program (which is getting more and more intense).

We’re also pretty confident that we have a day picked out in 2022 for the full-distance Olympic triathlon, but I’m going to stay tight-lipped about that for the time being, because I need to formulate a tentative tour schedule.