Hey all,
I’ve been doing a lot of writing as of late, some of which has been for this blog and some of which has been for another project I’m working on, and admittedly, the lines have become a bit blurry between the two outlets. This means I don’t know if I’m repeating my sentiments from an earlier post but some things are worth repeating.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am an addict. My primary go-to is overeating, but I’ve transferred my addiction to numerous coping mechanisms over the years – actually, perhaps ‘transference’ isn’t the word because my bouts of unbridled debauchery are inclusive in nature. My relationship with alcohol and other varied inebriants have always been tumultuous as well, and when you’re a champion-level mess-maker, you don’t have to look very hard to find someone who’ll tell you that what you’re doing is a bad idea.
Food is a whole other thing… you can’t quit food, and overeating is widely encouraged by fast food chains and grandmothers alike, so in my latter 30’s I’ve had to figure out for myself what I should be eating and where to get it. Add in the fact that I was a kid from a not-very-well-to-do family in the 1980’s; which was a dark time for nutritional information and healthy options for a number of financial and sociopolitical reasons, and it’s a wonder that many of us survived.
I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I will need to have structure around my eating habits for the foreseeable future. I also know that it’s this disciplinary practice that’s allowed me to achieve results, and really, thrive. I’ve lost 166 lbs. and I’m about to run an Olympic length triathlon. I realize that this is no small feat and I need to be comfortable where I am, because for a long time there was a lingering fear that I’d wake up one day and weight 340 lbs.
Sound far-fetched? Well, it’s happened before.
Logically, I know that won’t happen, and even if it did, I know what to do to get back to where I am, but fear is rarely logical. Motivation is how I started, but discipline is how I maintain. I’ve built structure around my vices so that I can thrive, the same way a houseplant needs an appropriate sized pot and nutrient rich soil, and a regiment of regular watering in order to thrive and flower.
I’ve built similar structure around other things I aim to excel at, and am seeing results in those areas as well. My hope for you is that you utilize the framework available to you to thrive in whatever areas you hope to grow. People will no doubt tell you you’re limiting yourself, but those people fail to see the difference between ‘limitation’ and ‘concentration’
Training this week has been good. Lu’s been working a lot this week, so it’s fortunate circumstance that it’s been a bit lighter of a training week. This weekend will see our longest swim to date though, which is 1500m – the first time we’ll be swimming the full length required for our event.
The Conscious Pilgrim 