I’ve been critiquing my own habits for a good spell now, and in admission of such things I’ve elected to share. In truth; several blog posts start from this place.
We all have people in our lives that we know and love who elect to make decisions and perform behaviors that are different than what we would do under the same circumstances. We love them as much as ever and we hope to see them learn their lessons and make improvements. We can offer advice from time to time, but ultimately that’s not really our role in the relationship – we’ve never been asked to mentor them.
Anyway, I do this thing where I give people the opportunity to behave differently than they normally do; then when they don’t, I get upset. Now, I’ve never set a precedent, or asked anyone to specifically alter their behavior – even as a personal favor – in this situation, so for me to expect any different behavior than the behavior I’ve known for years is ridiculous.
I’m well aware that this is 100% a ME issue – and that’s the point.
What’s more is that I’ve recently been on the receiving end of such a scenario, where there’s been misplaced emotional reaction to changes I’ve made in my life and I’ve had to take the emotional responses of people in stride. It’s one thing to try to be objective, it’s another to feel like you are the only person doing so.
The lesson I’m learning is that there’s so much anxiety and frustration that can alleviated in my life simply by not allowing our preconceived notions to dictate the outcome. Predicting the outcome serves no real purpose, so I’m resolving to allow people the freedom to be human, and then reacting in the most level and rational way possible.
But… I have to use the word ‘reacting’ pretty conservatively, since my priority is not to react. This stretches me as a person – have I mentioned lately that I’m an artist and thus emotional reactions are my jam?
It was recently bestowed upon me that “every situation is neutral” before you put your perspective on it. Everything from loud thunderstorms to playoff hockey are a matter of cause and effect, and neither are particularly terrible or fantastic until our personal opinions put a filter over the experience.
So, I’ll strive to be objective and neutral, and in doing so I will prevent the things I cannot control from controlling me.
Now… things I CAN control… like training this week; for example.
We’re into the month of June, which means our Zone 2 session on Mondays are going from 60 minutes up to 75 minutes, and the other sessions through the week are getting longer. My stabilizers are catching up with the trail running workload. One thing I hadn’t anticipated that will actually work in our favor is that the school year will be over, which means my shifts in the carpool will no longer be a factor in training JUST in time for these sessions to be at their peak length.
Last week, I most definitely overworked myself by adding 2 x 45 minute bike rides every day (my commute) so I’m using that as more of a cross-training exercise as my running sessions get longer and longer. As much as I’d love to do everything all at once, I know this is a progression. Our summers are painfully short and I’m trying to squeeze everything out of this one – but care and caution must be taken, too.
Confusionaires had a show in Hinton, AB that I was looking forward to, partly because I’d be able to go for a run in close proximity to the mountains, but it was cancelled.
Onward and upward, friends!
The Conscious Pilgrim 