momentary

“A difficult day is only difficult because it’s hard to make decisions” is a nugget recently bestowed upon me. On the surface it might seem a bit reductionist, but we’re not necessarily talking about a catastrophic day here. Just the kind of day when you’re trying to fix your shitty bike, or when you hit every red light on your way to work thereby rendering you just tardy enough to get noticed.

I heard that in a podcast while at the gym, and right after I heard it, my headphones died, as though the fates had determined that this is the phrase I must lob back & forth across the hemisphere’s of my brain as I punish various unsuspecting muscle groups. What I determined is that the statement has absolutely nothing to do with poor decision making and everything to do with being in the moment, and reacting only to what you can control.

Rush Hour Traffic is the perfect example. I can rage out behind the wheel with the best of ’em, but my need to get where I am going doesn’t supersede the needs of the people involved in the collision 3 blocks up… at 4:30pm… on the Friday of a long weekend. My reaction holds no sway over the situation, and whether I lose hair over it or not, I’m still there… so what are my options? Do I vacate and take another route home? Not likely… the time for that was probably over before I noticed. I must face the fact that I am stuck, and although it’s doubtful I’ll find much joy in this moment, I can surely choose not to raise my blood pressure over it.

Then; after resolving that, as I zoom out on the circumstances, I know that I ought not worry too much about where I’m going, because (a) I should save thinking about that when I get there, and (b) even if I did, it’ll only add heat to the current circumstance.

I must live here, in this moment… in the blistering sun, with the windows down, overhearing bad music vibrating off the frame of a worn out Honda Civic ahead of me on my left. What choice do I have? I can choose to listen to Motorhead.

There – now I’m doing something to improve my situation.

Now, bring on the weekend.