one shitty thing

I’m pretty good when I have a plan. I think most of us are, and I think the best way to proceed with a plan is to know that plans change – most often due to unforeseen circumstances, but occasionally due to personal realizations.

As much as I ultimately have my life together, there are always a few things that cause us to question the certainty of the outcome. I have a pretty cushy job at this point in my life and it honestly allows me to pursue more artistic endeavors than I’ve ever been able to before. I’ve been granted a certain amount of financial freedom and I am able to commit time to projects that I was never able to commit to before – not because I work less hours but because of when my working hours occur. I live in a nice house and I have a beautify girlfriend, an amazing daughter, a great dog, a cool old project car, more nice guitars than most people deserve, and the ability to write and perform my own music at a scale greater than ever before in my life.

I’m not bragging – I needed to write that in order to put some perspective on things. I have a tendency to overlook these things when one shitty thing happens, and it’s difficult for me to see that one shitty thing for what it is… ONE shitty thing. I’m at a point where I need to plan more for the future… my twilight years, as it were, and what that looks like once my daughter goes off to conquer her future.

One shitty thing is a temporary problems, of course. It’s hardly worth mentioning, especially since another shitty thing will beset me later and I’ll have forgotten all about the current one. But nonetheless, that one shitty thing seems to be inhibiting how things go 10-15 years from now.

So among the periodic singular shitty things, I; or rather, we, ponder questions like: Where will we live? And how? And what plans need to be laid now in order to make that come to fruition? Will I still want to do what I am doing now?

There’s a delicate balance that should be struck in order to secure the kind of life I will want to live later. It’s a conundrum, because 10-15 years ago I was a completely different person than I am right now. How am I to make plans for such an old man? And what of his partner? We’ve grown together over the past 13 years and I can only assume we will continue with that trend – but how am I supposed to know how they’ll want to spend their time years from now…?

Yes… years from now when this one shitty thing barely registers as a memory, let alone an obstacle that prevented a fruitful life.

It’s going to be fine, isn’t it?

*** this is not in reference to my boss and mentor’s passing. That will get it’s own entry later.