momentum

I feel like it’s been a minute or two since I talked about fitness.

I still get asked; and I love it when I do, what I did to lose the weight I lost. It’s been a few years now, so it’s not news to my circle of people I talk to regularly – but in total I’ve lost 166 lbs from my heaviest to my lightest. The majority of that was in 2019 when I was losing 1-2 lbs per week for the entire year.

The short answer is diet & exercise.
But… that answer is kinda bullshit, y’know?

I mean… that’s the answer. I didn’t take any miracle drugs or participate in some ritual, and there’s no voodoo curse of which I’m aware… but if you want the real dirt on what I did to lose weight then we’re probably overdue for a couple-hour long discussion about depression, addiction, inspiration, discipline, and… momentum.

We’d also have to discuss when to stop telling the story… because I’m not at my lightest right now… Hell, I’m not even at my fittest, but I’m getting to a point where that’s true again.

As I type this, in July 2025, I am 20 lbs heavier than where I want to be, which is 30 lbs heavier than the lightest I’ve been since high school. My body weight is in decline, so I’m not worried at all about reaching my goal, but I am wondering what I’ll do when I reach it. Last time I reached it, I didn’t have a plan – what I had was a fear that I’d gain it all back, and fear is not a plan.

At that time, I decided to start eating more and lifting heavier to put on muscle. And I put on muscle – no doubt about that – but I put on fat too, because that’s how the body works… it stores food for later.

After that, my family hit some bumpy road and I found myself shifting focus away from myself. That’s what needed to happen but I really didn’t save much attention for myself and I put on more weight than I’d intended. That gets left out of my weight loss hero’s journey, because it felt like the opposite of success at the time. Then, once we were collectively out of the rough patch, it was time to get back to work on myself again. It was hard.

A year later I’m back to calling it all a success as I zero-in on a new set of goals.

I cannot be who I was in the fall of 2022.
I don’t even want to be. I mean, sure I was leaner and faster than I am now, but I didn’t know as much as I do now, and I didn’t understand what was happening even when I was in the midst of it.

I look at pictures of myself from then, and I was carved out of stone.
But what I saw in the mirror was just more fat to burn.
I know better now.
I understand what I had and I understand that although I will never be the me from 3 years ago, I know I will be better.

I’m not done yet.
Neither are you.
So stop treating yourself like you are the end result of a failed experiment.