Tag: learning

journeys

I feel like a really old teenager most of the time. In spite of the fucked nature of the planet and most of the people in it, I am often filled with wonder and optimism to a level that most people – including myself, once upon a time – would find irritating.

Fortunately, my demeanor is pretty low-key.

As promised, I have returned from a journey to Mexico, wherein I was invited as a guest to perform at a number of venues with my rock & roll band. I knew going in to this that it would be both difficult and life-changing and I have most certainly left a piece of mi corazon in the sand off the pacific coast. I’ve encountered both stunning beauty and heart-breaking poverty, and have seen what giving and being of service really looks like.

I will undoubtedly return, but before I do there are a few things I must take seriously before I do. The first of which is the language, which I can only describe as a poetic and flowing assemblance of syllables that I picked up as much of as I could at the time, but by my estimation I wasn’t speaking it so much as I was chewing it up and spitting it out in an effort to inquire about excluding the cheese and meat from a traditional dish. I’ve already taken steps to refresh what I (almost) learned in high-school Spanish 25 years ago and I look forward to gradually integrating that language into my life so that I can carry myself respectful of my surroundings when I return.

The second is an acknowledgement of privilege. I don’t mean the “I’m white and I don’t know what oppression is” brand of privilege that we like to both enjoy and be embarrassed of in Canada, so much as I mean that I have access to things that musicians there don’t – like guitar strings, cables, and microphone stands, and all manor of other things we take for granted. Suffice to say, a lot of people helped us out and made rock & roll possible when any number of hiccups could have completely derailed the tour. We were shown an amazing amount of grace and respect and as much as nobody is keeping a tally, I’m inclined to feel the need to reciprocate.

There are more lessons, of course, and as I settle back in to life in Canada I am reminded of the subtle differences, and these lessons are revealed to me. Previously, I’ve only ever known Mexico as a tourist in all-inclusive resorts with Caribbean white sand & blue water, and as much as I think people should enjoy those and experience that, I took part in the day-to-day goings on of what was “Real Mexico” as the Mexicans experience it and I have to say that I loved it regardless of it’s challenges.

I look forward to my much more prepared return, realizing of course that I must live here, in this moment, and I’m fortunate to know that this moment will lead to a moment when I am back there… in due time.

dealing with it

“I’m fine doing the work that needs to be done, but that work takes time and that time was already precious and in demand before it was redirected to the tasks at hand. “

In the aftermath of a hard time, there’s a cautious optimism that weaves it’s way through chaos. It’s almost undetectable unless you’re specifically looking for it, but it’s there. That feeling that bubbles up from god-knows-where as you figuratively look at the metaphorical wreckage of what once was, and picture it more grand and beautiful than ever.

This is what I’ve been hanging onto lately. I mentioned in recent weeks that we were caught in the blast radius of some undesired situation. I’m elated to say that the dust has settled and swept aside, and the rebuild is most certainly underway.

That said; and I know exactly how selfish this is going to seem, I am remorseful for the way things were before the event took place. I’m fine doing the work that needs to be done, but that work takes time and that time was already precious and in demand before it was redirected to the tasks at hand. What’s actually amazing about the whole ordeal is how much time I was able to redirect – it actually makes me feel like I was wasting a lot of time before, because I really don’t understand how I’ve been able to come up with so much of it – but I DEFINITELY know what I want to do with that time as it makes it’s way back to me.

All this to say that I am always learning, always improving, and even when it sucks the most – always taking care of what needs my attention.

All in all – I’m happy.
I’m happy to be improving the situation, I’m happy that I’m learning more about myself, and I’m happy learning how to better deal with and lead through adversity. I’m happy to be embracing a role of service to the people around me.

Whether I like the task in the moment, I am living my purpose.
I am aligned.