Tag: moving forward

happy where you are

It’s pretty easy to be happy when everything is fine… a little harder when it’s not. I had something knock my positivity a little off-course a couple months back and it’s been difficult to reclaim my bearings a bit, but I’ve gained clarity on things in a way I thought I understood before; and maybe I was right, but is much more obvious to me now.

I’ve heard lot about being happy where you are, which is ultimately the foundations of the phrase ‘money can’t buy happiness‘ but I’ve always had difficulty squaring that with my motivation to move forward and do more, being the goal oriented person that I am. Only recently have I realized that in the context of my everyday losses & victories that I ultimately couldn’t possibly be any happier than I am right now. My struggles are my own, but the truth is that I wouldn’t trade them for anyone else’s. I am self aware and moving forward, and over all I am happy – in part because I am happy moving forward.

I suppose I got it into my head somehow that the term ‘being happy where you are‘ gets broken into 2 halves, (a) ‘being happy‘ and (b) ‘where you are.’

‘Being happy‘ is not a foreign concept, but ‘where you are‘ somehow presents as some stationary place, as in ‘if my life never changed, would I be good with that?’ but that’s really not what it is. It’s more momentary and granular than that. As I type this, I’m sitting at my laptop and I am happy doing so. After this I’ll be doing something else and I’ll be happy with that – and it will lead to something else.

What I’ve come to understand is that rather than a term with 2 halves, it’s a term with an action and a qualifier. ‘Being happy, where you are.‘ and I’ve realized that ‘where you are‘ for me IS moving forward. When I am right now is putting time and action between myself and an undesirable circumstance, and if I’m being truly honest with myself then I must acknowledge that every day since that hard situation happened is better than the day before it, because progress is cumulative.

The only place we allow our failures to define us is in the mirror, and most of us would never allow someone else to talk to us the way we talk to ourselves. You wouldn’t allow someone to talk that way about a close friend, and a close friend would come to your defense if someone was slinging slander at you.

I can’t speak for you, but the little fat kid I see in the mirror needs me to defend him. After all, he got me all the way here… and objectively, here is pretty great, and he worked really hard to do so.

If we’re going to live in a frame of mind where problems compound on each other (and most of us do, regrettably) then we must also allow our victories to compound, or we’ll never feel that sense of balance or accomplishment, and we’ll never really be able to ask ourselves: “Am I happy where I am?” without fearing the answer.

So we either DON’T allow our problems to compound, or we DO allow our victories to compound. That’s a matter of preference I suppose… but in the checks & balances, I’m willing to bet that a lot of us are closer to being happy where we are than we might think.

purpose driven

“I live in a mindset of prosperity, so I see prosperity – and I am truly happy doing what I’m doing. When I lived in a negative space, all I saw was negativity.”

I’ve made more than a few changes in my life in the past couple of years, and it’s paid off in more than a few ways. I’ll preface this blog entry by stating that I’m not here to tell anyone to stop being concerned with the money flowing in & out o their home, because I’m not only unqualified to do so, but I’m also not naïve nor am I independently wealthy. Money is energy – and you’re gonna need some in order to get done what you intend to do.

As an artist and an entrepreneur, I have the distinct pleasure of knowing that my output has value, and when that translates into dollars & cents I know what to ask for and what to deliver.

However, I will say that once my primary motivation stopped just being money, I was able to monitor growth in a much more fascinating way. There are some things you can’t buy because they are worth more than money. These are things like integrity, effectiveness, positivity, reputation… the types of things that only come from consistent diligence.

My band and I work with a business manager to grow our business, and we’ve made some steps that feel more like bounding leaps than steps – intelligent decisions that have ensured a reputation of quality. We’ve also received opportunities that never would have come our way without a soft-hearted, neighborly approach, such as offering a place to stay to an old friend traveling through our home town after some accommodations fell through. It might not sound like much, but it meant a lot to the recipient – so much so that this friend helped us accomplish something we otherwise would not have.

The steps that led to us being ready for that were gradual and calculated, and the timing was fantastic. If our proposed album release date for our new album (that we’ve just opened preorders for) was 6 months later or 6 months earlier, it wouldn’t have worked out. 6 months earlier would have been too quick, and 6 months later might have been just enough time that we would have seconded guessed following up and securing this arrangement.

One of the aforementioned steps involved a drastic change to my scheduled activities, to spend more time as an artist, and less time as someone else’s employee – a strange move for a 40 year old man in the wake of a 2.5 year global pandemic, but the right move for me nonetheless.

Now, to stop myself from telling any more of this story in the reverse order in which it happened, I’ll say that to be driven by purpose rather than to be driven my something as fleeting as money has enriched my life more than you could ever know. My family and my rock & roll band are better for it, my artistic output is of a higher caliber and travels further and is heard by more ears as a result of it, and my life is inexplicably full in response to it.

I live in a mindset of prosperity, so I see prosperity – and I am truly happy doing what I’m doing. When I lived in a negative space, all I saw was negativity. Sure, there are hard days and stressful days, but I was going to have those anyway – and if there’s been a resounding message coming at me from all angles over the past while, it’s this:

You don’t get what you want. You get what you are.

I hope to encourage anyone feeling the negative side of these dark, cold January days to push yourself to be in a mindset of prosperity and purpose, and spend less time with your head in those dark spaces. If you truly want to change your life, start with your perspective – anything else that needs to change will follow in it’s own time.

I won’t say it’s easy, but I will say it’s worth it.

I will also say that it would be remiss of me to not provide an avenue to support what I’m doing in a tangible way, especially after this particular story, so I’ll post this link: https://confusionaires.bandcamp.com/album/westernization-2023 so that if you like the small sample of the album that’s posted here, you might go a step further and secure a copy. I don’t want to pressure anyone into buying anything – I only want to sell you this if you think you will love it.

My blood, sweat, and tears are in this record and if you appreciate the writing and sharing I do in this blog, you may also appreciate the content of these songs.

Training this week has been good. Last Saturday’s workout was at a Planet Fitness in Grande Prairie. I won’t say I loved the facility for myself, but I did love the vibe and level of accessibility it provides to the community around it. I think I tend to go for “a bit less flash and a bit more smash” if I may put it so succinctly. Monday, Lu and I opted for an extra day of rest after a particularly intense weekend for a couple of reasons. I had taken the day off, which allowed to rest to a degree we haven’t been able to since before the holidays, so we took that opportunity. Tuesday followed with some weightlifting, Thursday & Saturday with Zone 2 cardio, and Friday with a run & more weights.

I’ve been awaiting a decision (as well as some inevitable hoops to jump through) in regards to a work place opportunity, and the focus on fitness and the intense level at which my artistic life is operating right now has been a welcome opportunity to stay in the moment – but at the same time, I do feel like I’m waiting on someone else’s schedule for something, which I don’t love.

The crazy part is that it’s actually a pretty serious fork in the road. I either (a) further indenture myself to the company I work for, or I (b) seek opportunity elsewhere. Not out of spite, just for the sheer fact that if I have hit the ceiling of what they see in me, then I must seek opportunity elsewhere. I’d never tell them that for fear that it would sound like an ultimatum – but I really don’t think they read this blog, and I’m being vague intentionally.

It’s strange, but I’m not married to either outcome despite how strong the motions that will follow will be.

C’est la vie.