Author: Davey

Hey all,

I’ve been doing a lot of writing as of late, some of which has been for this blog and some of which has been for another project I’m working on, and admittedly, the lines have become a bit blurry between the two outlets. This means I don’t know if I’m repeating my sentiments from an earlier post but some things are worth repeating.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am an addict. My primary go-to is overeating, but I’ve transferred my addiction to numerous coping mechanisms over the years – actually, perhaps ‘transference’ isn’t the word because my bouts of unbridled debauchery are inclusive in nature. My relationship with alcohol and other varied inebriants have always been tumultuous as well, and when you’re a champion-level mess-maker, you don’t have to look very hard to find someone who’ll tell you that what you’re doing is a bad idea.

Food is a whole other thing… you can’t quit food, and overeating is widely encouraged by fast food chains and grandmothers alike, so in my latter 30’s I’ve had to figure out for myself what I should be eating and where to get it. Add in the fact that I was a kid from a not-very-well-to-do family in the 1980’s; which was a dark time for nutritional information and healthy options for a number of financial and sociopolitical reasons, and it’s a wonder that many of us survived.

I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I will need to have structure around my eating habits for the foreseeable future. I also know that it’s this disciplinary practice that’s allowed me to achieve results, and really, thrive. I’ve lost 166 lbs. and I’m about to run an Olympic length triathlon. I realize that this is no small feat and I need to be comfortable where I am, because for a long time there was a lingering fear that I’d wake up one day and weight 340 lbs.

Sound far-fetched? Well, it’s happened before.

Logically, I know that won’t happen, and even if it did, I know what to do to get back to where I am, but fear is rarely logical. Motivation is how I started, but discipline is how I maintain. I’ve built structure around my vices so that I can thrive, the same way a houseplant needs an appropriate sized pot and nutrient rich soil, and a regiment of regular watering in order to thrive and flower.

I’ve built similar structure around other things I aim to excel at, and am seeing results in those areas as well. My hope for you is that you utilize the framework available to you to thrive in whatever areas you hope to grow. People will no doubt tell you you’re limiting yourself, but those people fail to see the difference between ‘limitation’ and ‘concentration’

Training this week has been good. Lu’s been working a lot this week, so it’s fortunate circumstance that it’s been a bit lighter of a training week. This weekend will see our longest swim to date though, which is 1500m – the first time we’ll be swimming the full length required for our event.

I can say in earnest that I’ve seen more sunrises in the last 2 years than I did in the 20 previous. Realistically, during those previous 20, I saw them because I was still up, rather than now, getting up to meet them. Every once in a while I stop and take a picture, as if I felt compelled to prove it happened.

I think a lot about change and evolution – not in the ‘human evolutionary’ sense, but in the personal sense. We are learning beings, capable of growth and redemption. Sometimes I think about when people accomplish amazing feats like completing an Ironman competition, or climbing a mountain, and those people are celebrated, and I think about times I’ve been celebrated for things I’ve done and I wonder if those people feel the same way I do – like they’re not done yet. Sure, they’ve crossed the finish line, or reached the peak, and have amazing stories to suit those occasions, but when I think about what I’ve done, these things get filed away in a folder of things I’ve done. I move on to the next thing I guess, and it makes me wonder if I should stop and celebrate my accomplishments… take a break… before I resume my storyline. This is my thought process as we’re now a month away from the Olympic Tri, which among the obvious, means that we’ve got a new training schedule to conjure. Both are exciting, honestly.

Maybe that stream of consciousness doesn’t make sense, or maybe it does.

When we did the half-tri back in December, we punished it. We walked away from that event saying “we can do more” and forged ahead. When we do the olympic length triathlon in roughly a month, the same may happen. We already know what we want to do next… but I guess what I’m pondering is: How do I feel about that? Have I been conditioned through disappointment in my life not to get too excited about these things? Am I just shy? or humble? Do I have imposter syndrome?

Maybe it’s not worth beating myself up over, but I can’t help but wonder; even with real Olympic Athletes, once the medals are handed out and the fanfare is over, how do they process? Do they revel in it…? Or do they wake up early, and watch another sunrise through the streams of sweat in the cold early morning?

Despite that melancholy stream of consciousness, training this week has been great. It’s a busy week with an even busier weekend, as I played last night in Edmonton, and will be playing in Calgary tonight, so I’m likely going to have to move my Sunday workout to Monday, but it’s worth it.

I can almost taste spring at this point. The juxtaposition of the calendar and the 10-day forecast tells me that this last cold snap in Edmonton might very well be the last dying whimper of my least favorite season, and my courtship with our natural environment may be coming soon. I’m generally not one to jinx these things, but I’m also not one to concern myself with things beyond my control – but if spring is here then I can certainly control my reaction to it.

I’ve missed running outside dearly, and I’ve missed our river valley and I realize the good fortune I have to be able to enjoy these things uninhibited, but I realized lately that as I stare longingly out the window at the sunrise from the stationary bikes at my gym that I AM part of a community of people. The folks around me every morning, most of whom are friendly enough to learn my name and remember it, have permeated my environment to the degree that I notice when they’re not there and they likely notice when I’m not there. The 6:30am crowd is ride-or-die for the most part, and many are that way in spite of their physical challenges.

I’ve more or less taken it all for granted that some of the people there may not really get any other human-to-human contact with anyone else, all day – and for that I think I can pause my podcast to give someone the time of day. I’m bound to take for granted my ability to run or bike a trail when many people want to and can’t. The indoor gym may not be the natural environment I want to connect with but a group of otherwise strangers have been thrust together at a specific time interval through circumstance and sheer willpower, and in that light, it’s beautiful. I’m happy to share this time with those people, many of whom I don’t know personally – but I’ve seen their will to be better and do better in action just as they’ve seen mine.

I’ll maintain my membership to the gym through the warm months, too. I’ll lift weights and swim there, and dodge the rainy mornings in the shelter of the commonwealth recreation center.

I have the means to do both.

Training this week has been good. A few of the punches we had to roll with in previous weeks have been more or less sorted and it feels good to be firm in my discipline again. Not that there was any danger or derailment, but we did have to move some workout days around to accommodate some obligations and we’re lucky to have been able to do so. The importance of being fluid with plans is not lost on me – plans can always change, but changing when you don’t have a plan in the first place is total chaos.

We also had someone take note of how hard we go at the gym, and they told us how they were inspired by us. People are watching you own your process, and you are affecting the people around you… so best keep it positive!

I use bluetooth earbuds to fill my brain with positivity. I dig into audiobooks and podcasts in a way that I never have before, and I find it helpful to surround myself with positivity and inspiration while I’m breaking a sweat. Maybe you do, too!

My issue is that my headphones are cheap. They connect ok, and they do the job, but they’re not particularly comfortable, and thankfully I’m not using them to convey anything with a desired level of fidelity, because it would be an exercise in futility. Lately, they’ve not been charging properly, and my gym visit the other day netted frustration in that they didn’t charge at all, thereby denying me the opportunity to live inside my own head.

As it would happen, on this particular day the Edmonton Police training was happening on the pitch below the fitness facility, and the music being played was particularly loud in the shared air space, and grating on my otherwise iron will – but the other things I heard while not being relieved of my auditory sense were somewhat bothersome. Left with no choice but to overhear conversations between other patrons, I overheard a few negative criticisms directed toward the wannabe cops below in reference to their physiques. I’d never witnessed the inter-gym physique shaming before this, and as I reflect on it I wish I’d said something at the time – but I didn’t.

Maybe it was my place, and maybe it wasn’t. Certainly no bad would have come from interjecting, so it’s possible that I chickened out, but I’ll say it now: Walk a mile.

The amount of power it takes to start a regimen of self care and health maintenance is astronomical for ANYone. That amount is compounded for everything you see in the mirror that you don’t like. I don’t aim to comment on ‘fat shaming’ in general, but I will say that the next time I hear someone being denigrated for their physique while they’re in the act of doing something to improve their health & well-being, I most certainly will have something to say about it.

Personally, I’ve lost 166 lbs.
75 of those lbs. I lost while being a member of THIS fitness facility, and I’m not alone. I’ve seen people transform themselves in incredible ways from my sideline view, and you simply cannot judge someone’s progress at first glance.

Aside from that, Training this week was… juuuust alright. The time change messed with me a little bit, but luckily it was also a bit lighter of an effort, so sayeth the training program. I missed Sunday’s brick workout completely, but got through everything else quite well.

I’ve been thinking a lot about distraction lately and have implemented a few rules of operation for myself lately. I can’t say that I follow them with the religious fervor that I’ve set out with, but I aim to do a little better each day. The primary moves I’ve made are to (1) limit my social media time to an hour per day, which includes my personal email, to (2) silence all manor of app notifications from my cellular phone, and to (3) stop mainlining 24-hour news cycle.

Amazing things have transpired in my absence from the feeder-tube of information.

I’ve spent more time writing and developing ideas that I aim to follow through on as time permits, I also took care of a couple long-overdue home improvement tasks, and been a more engaged conversationalist in all areas of my life. These are all things I could have guessed would happen, but the part that’s really blown my mind over the past couple of weeks – I really haven’t missed anything.

I quickly learned that cutting myself off from local, provincial, and some very heartbreaking international news is that I was still presented with all of the important information from the people around me discussing it; and although I speculate it to be so, the opinion-peppered relaying of these stories from my peers & coworkers wasn’t any more or less opinionated than my previously selected news sources.

I’ve gained only time for reflection and development and at this point I only wish I’d done so sooner.

If you’re feeling maxed out by current events and need to spend some time in your own head sweeping up cobwebs, I recommend a little – not even a break – just some structure around the truckload of information being fired directly at your brain at lightspeed.

Training this week was a little funny, we shuffled a couple of days around in order to get some extra-curricular tasks done, but we definitely got done what we’d set out to do. There was a bit of a head game involved in some regards but we know very well that it’s important to have a plan AND that sometimes plans change, and we can be fluid.

Hopefully you’ve had a successful week with what you had set out for you!
I hear from lots of you through various messenger apps, and definitely appreciate the engagement. Hopefully from here on out my replies aren’t too slow, but if they are… well, now you know why!

If you’re in Edmonton this afternoon, I’ll be performing solo at The Cask & Barrel on 104 Street just south of Jasper Avenue from 4pm till 6pm. I’d love to see you out!

I’ve told this story before, but hold on, I’m going somewhere with it…

On the heels of Covid-19, the first place I went as soon as it was advisable for me to do so was the gym. I swam a kilometer. The following morning I went 37km on a stationary bike followed by a 20 minute jog at 9km/hour. It felt great to be able to do that while monitoring myself for myocarditis – a heat problem that seems all to common in people after having Covid-19. Everything was great.

Last week, I took my kid out for pizza (at a place that offers the vegan cheese, of course) and we celebrated a good report card. I had some food I don’t often eat, but not what I would call an absurd amount, no beer or anything – just a personal size vegan pizza and some fries.

Roughly 12 hours later, I went to the gym for a bike/run. I spent 60 minutes on the bike, and after about 15 of those minutes, I was feeling underpowered. At the 20 minute mark, I was giving myself a pep-talk. Just before 30 minutes; at the half way point, I started to wonder if I should bail and go home – not something I allow myself to do pretty much ever… and around the 37 minute mark I had finally overcome my greasy food obstacle. I finished my 60 minutes a couple km’s shy of where I like to be. At that point I hopped on the treadmill for a 15 minute jog, the first half of which was just torturous.

This was easily the hardest workout I’ve had in a great while and I gotta say, although it’s inevitable that I’ll have vegan junk food at some point in the future again, I may have to temper my expectations of physical performance before I attempt a serious workout with pizza in my belly.

That pizza knocked me down harder than Covid-19 did.
That’s not a statement about Covid-19. That’s a statement about my newfound intolerance to pizza.

Other than that, training was pretty great. I had a great swim on Tuesday and am holding fast to the program I’ve built, which is officially UP now. Take a look at it below! You can even save it and use it if you like.