Tag: run

coaxed out of my little world

It’s funny how a diagnosis for something you’ve had for your entire life without ever knowing it can change your perspective.

Before this blog took the shape of it’s current container, it was primarily based around my relationship with my environment, which is a pretty broad field that encompasses fitness, art, my dog, interactions with nature, food… but I started it when I started triathlon training – so a lot of fitness posting.

Anyway, I still do that. The difference is that when I am turning the volume of my headphones up, I realize that I’m not ONLY doing that because Rob Zombie makes some of the best treadmill-running music ever recorded (more on that below!), but also because I need to tune out the noise of everyone around me. The action has not changed, but the perspective has.

What has also most definitely NOT changed is how jarring it is when someone wants to talk to me.

So I’m in the locker room this past week, about to embark on some relentless sprinting drills when an old man comes out of absolutely NOWHERE and scares the shit out of me to eventually get around to saying “last time I was here I saw you ran for A WHOLE HOUR! I only do 20 minutes!” which was simultaneously mortifying knowing that people are watching me that closely, and flattering knowing that people are watching me that closely. I tried to say “well it’s time to go do it again” in a somewhat encouraging way – though it probably came out all monotone and dismissive.

At any rate, I came away more encouraged than embarrassed and I got to thinking about how when I started, I was fat. I couldn’t jog my slow ass to the end of the block without wheezing, let alone adhere to the first day of my “couch to 5k” plan I was following which involved 6 minutes of jogging followed by 1 minute of walking, 3 times over.

It made me glad that this little disarming man was able to coax me out of my little insular world and encourage me to keep pushing the limit.

The snow that’s falling on my house as I type this is upsetting. I got some brand new shoes delivered yesterday – Saucony Endorphin Pro 4’s that are being blown out as the 5’s are now available. I got a killer deal on them and it’s making me excited for spring… so the falling snow is really fuckin’ up my good vibe right now.

Also, I meant what I said when I said that Rob Zombie makes some of the best treadmill running music ever recorded. His new album “The Great Satan” harkens back to early Zombie days, and has some old collaborators on it as well.

As an aside, Rob Zombie reminds me of a lot of the self aggrandizing elements of rock & roll that are often disregarded. And by that I mean that in the tradition of Bon Scott and David Bowie, he takes on characters that demand that you refer to him as various things… including but not exclusively “The Devilman” “Sir Lord Acid Wolfman” “The Black Scorpion” “Tarantula” and “Rock ‘n’ Roller” (which has it’s own nod to Bowie, or rather Ziggy & The Spiders from Mars) and I find it all very endearing, personally. It’s all reminiscent of such rock & roll proclamations as AC/DC’s “I’m TNT” “I’m a rocker” and the cancel-culture-worthy “I’m the Night Prowler” or Iggy Pop’s “I am a passenger” or even Thin Lizzy’s “I am just a cowboy.”

I don’t plan to do a “best of 2026” album list at the end of the year but you can rest assured that this album would be on it if I did.

If you heard this album and hated it, consider giving it another spin while on a treadmill.

medicated

I’ve alluded to somethings that are going on in my life that I wasn’t quite prepared to talk about because I didn’t want to put the cart before the horse; so to speak, until I had an official diagnosis to lean on… and while the wheels are in motion as I am typing this, we’re still not quite there. But, I have enough to know that I am able to share.

I thought I’d know where to start, but I don’t… so I’ll just blurt it out and then backtrack, in true neurodivergent fashion.

I have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), and the reason I am able to talk openly about it now is because my doctor (whom I am so very fortunate to have in this province), who DOES have the credentials to make a formal diagnosis has confirmed as much. My doctor has opted not to give me the diagnosis; however, because in order to get access to the best mental health care in the region, my diagnosis has to come from a psychiatrist – to which I have been referred.

Now, I know a lot about health and wellness. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you likely know that I dropped 166 lbs pre-covid and kept it off, and have a number of accomplishments under my belt. I’ve learned how to keep myself out of the high-risk zones, statistically speaking;and when prodded, can be a great resource to others. I train hard to this day and am in excellent physical condition for any age, let alone the age I am.

I’ve also given out some free advice about various types of medications… particularly hear meds, blood pressure meds, and the like because I am living proof that diet and exercise can keep you out of the ICU. I have very proudly been able to say that I am a 40-something year old man and I take ZERO medications. Until now.

Now, I am on medication for ADHD, and it’s been a trip, I must say.

First off, the thought that I could be misconstrued and give people the impression that I had something valid to say about ALL medications absolutely guts me. I very well may have given that impression (though I know I never spoke to brain-drugs directly in public) and if that’s the case, then I sincerely apologize. I’ve never considered myself the arbiter of mental health, so I’m certain I never said anything SPECIFICLY about brain meds… but again… if misconstrued, I apologize.

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, I will say that my experience on these ADHD meds has been absolutely life changing. I can say that I’ve never been so present and in the moment (shy of being on-stage with my band) in my entire life. My workouts are better, my interactions with other people are better, I’m better at my job, and I believe my songwriting and performance of my instrument has improved with my enhanced focus and my ability to tune out distractions and just think about one thing a a time.

The only downside is that since my ADHD symptoms are more within my control than ever before – my Autism symptoms are on FULL display, and it’s been eye-opening to say the least. Obviously I’m functional, but there are heavy challenges, to be sure.

I’ll get more into that in the future. This post is long enough.

I’ll sign off by saying that I’m not looking for attention. If you know anything about ASD then you can be certain of that – but I’m happy to talk and share stories with people who are similarly afflicted or respectfully curious… but… y’know… through email is fine, lol…
… maaaybe don’t go runnin’ up to me when you see me at the mall or the hardware store with earplugs and sunglasses on and unload on me with stories.
… aaand as far as email goes… if you want to send me a big long email, please know that THOSE are hard to digest. Put the important parts in bold. Maybe use a few different colors.

Much love.

consistency

Spring is coming and I can feel it. I’ve done a very good job of staying consistent with training indoors through the summer months but I am very keen to get into the river valley and do some running and biking.

Before long I’ll have my summer tour schedule and I’ll know if & when I can race this summer. I might be too busy again this year but I guess we’ll see what shakes out. I do have a new album to promote and the summers are short and fraught with festivals in this part of the world.

I’ve been running between 45 and 60 minutes per day, 5 days per week – followed by a 30-45 minute weight session. Naturally that’ll have to change a bit once the snow melts and I’m back outside, but realistically it’ll be the May Long Weekend before I’m really digging into Edmonton’s river valley. It stays pretty cold and icy down there for a long time under the shade of all those trees, so realistically I have a quarter of the year to go before it really matters.

In the meantime… consistency is key. But progressive consistency…

My goals in the next few months are to extend my running intervals and shorten my walking intervals. Part of my desire to extend running intervals stems from a desire to get on the stationary bike more than I have been, as well as getting into the pool now for a bit before I find myself in the tattoo chair again, which pulls me out of the water for a while each time. With my weightlifting, I’m already going to failure on the final set of each exercise. The next step is progressive loading, which I am doing a bit of already as well.

I’m trying not to get too far ahead of myself.

Often I will devise a new plan for the future, and then say “why wait” and dive into a new routine, but I’m really trying to ride this out so that when I do change, it’s an appropriate shock to my system. I aim to change my diet a bit once we’re into a season where food grows, as food that grows on trees and bushes is rather important when you’re vegan.

I’ve been learning that this fitness routine and priority is of great advantage to me in my newfound condition. Not that my condition is new, but the knowledge of it is rather new to me. I’ll be speaking on that more in the future, as I’m still just wrapping my head around it, but as it turns out – healthy diet and regular exercise remains very important for those who are fortunate enough to be able to do it.

Before you speculate on my condition, please know that I am happy to have it, as it’s part of who I am. The only thing new or startling about it is that I wasn’t aware of it before, but at this stage of my life where I’m implemented so much positive change, I’m ready to take on this new thing in a positive light. It’s certainly not as scary as it would have been 10 years ago.

… only a little scary.
More on that later.

Thanks for reading.

the end of the year

It’s coming up quick… resolution time.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, then you know I couldn’t care less about resolutions, particularly around the new year. I’m a firm believer that the new year starts when you make a change in your life, not the other way around.

I became vegan on March 28, 2000. That was the start of a New Year.
I started working for the company I work for in September of 2011. New Year.
I started training for a triathlon in September of 2021. New Year.

Usually for me, it’s in September or October – which; as I type this, I realize I missed the anniversary of me starting this blog. I guess I’ve been too focused on making the changes I’ve wanted to make to stop and look around at what I’ve accomplished. And… that’s okay… it’s okay that I missed it, and it’s okay that my focus was elsewhere.

I do what I can to stay in the present moment… just like my dog.
He’s a constant reminder of the present moment.
He’s hungry when he’s hungry, he wants to play when he wants to play… not a moment before or after. When we’re walking and I have to pry chicken bones out of his mouth, he’s mad at me in the moment – but a moment later, he’s over it, and he reminds me of this, because I am still pissed off about it moments later, and he’s very irritatingly past it. I strive for this.

However, when I’m making plans for the future, and celebrating the past, I’m not in the moment. I’m living in the future or the past – but rarely the present.

That’s what I want.
More and More, I want that.
But I’m staring at my phone too much.

I actually make my living in nostalgia, both in my day job and in my art… but when I’m playing LIVE, or in the throes of MAKING a record (which I am currently involved in) I am IN the moment and it’s amazing.

And as I typed all that, I was in the moment.
That’s why it was a bit of a tangent.

Anyway… nostalgia is okay.
The past and future are okay.
There’s no shame in thinking about those things, I guess.
We’re geared to think about those things.
But to be truly in the moment is magic.

Not staring at my phone.
Not thinking about how long I have to wait until the snow melts.
Not thinking about New Year’s resolutions.

In the here and now.
And right here, right now, it’s Saturday Morning.
Isn’t that amazing?

to those who wait

I’m generally a pretty patient person, though I do have things I get excited about. However, “good things come to those who wait” has always been a phrase that irked me.

I understand the virtues of patience, but I have to say that whoever coined that phrase must have lived under a system other than capitalism, because around here, “good things come to those who get their hustle on” is much more accurate.

That said, I’m also not a hustler. My motivations in my daily life include a work-life balance that is generous on the ‘life’ side of the scale, and honestly if I was more motivated by money, I’d have more of it. I am motivated by time, though… and I enjoy a career position that rarely; if ever, inhibits my family time or my music making time. This is how my life is structured and I’m eternally grateful for it.

The real reason “good things come to those who wait” has nothing to do with any of that though, so much as it pertains to sitting on your ass waiting for good things to happen to you, which is flawed for reasons I shouldn’t have to point out, but I will anyway:

I believe good things happen to you when you’re ready.

The life I enjoy now, I have earned. Not only through hours worked or records made or gigs played, but through personal growth…
– books not only read, but taken to heart…
– miles not only traveled, but endured…
– lessons not only learned, but shared…

To say I got what I have by sitting and waiting is a massive understatement for what I have achieved in the meantime.

I’m reminded of a conversation with a friend that I used to describe how I wanted my life to be, and it’s the life I have now. I didn’t necessarily see it the way he saw it – from the 3rd person perspective – but he did show me not only how I have it, but how I built my life up to it.

I’m eternally grateful for the people in my life who remind me of these things, and that I didn’t just wait around for it to happen to me.

getting it

At this point, I have a number of daily practices. I’m a bit of a creature of habit when I’m home, partly because when I’m not home, I need to adapt. This is fine, and I have no problem doing it because it’s part of a greater plan, but when I am home, I keep it pretty rigid.

I was recently reflecting on the pandemic times with someone, and was reminded of the practices I had in place that have gone by the wayside, though many are still in place after several years. Then I began to reflect on all the podcast episodes and audiobooks I’ve digested since then.

I’ve really dug into philosophy and self-betterment over the past 5 years as a vegan, and longer, actually, as I was already on my spiritual journey when I came to veganism (though that was a big turning point). The rub is that once these things became part of my modus operandi, I didn’t have to focus on them specifically anymore.

I don’t have to think about stoicism because I’ve adopted it.
I don’t have to think about veganism because I’ve adopted it.
I don’t have to think about not drinking alcohol because I’ve adopted it.
I don’t have to think about endurance training or weightlifting because I’ve adopted it… they are a part of what I do. I do not thinkk about the merits of doing or not doing any of these things because the decision has been made a long time ago to do them.

It’s easy to think about the morning journaling and evening yoga practices that fizzled out after the pandemic, when demands on my personal time resumed, but it’s somehow less easy to think about the practices I have that stayed with me because they’ve just become part of what I do. Even so – as I type this and mourn my lost evening yoga practice, I suddenly remember that a Yoga Nidra practice gets me to sleep every night.

I also have to trust myself – something I’ve struggled to do for years, because I was not trustworthy for a long time. I couldn’t be trusted in a room alone with a box of donuts not that long ago, so this trust has come slowly, but at the base of my being I can always trust that I am doing my very best. I know that, because we are all doing our very best. So now I must trust that since I have tried all of these practices and some stuck while others didn’t, that the ones that didn’t just weren’t for me.

That is to say, just because someone wrote a book about daily journaling doesn’t mean that I have to journal daily. I journal weekly… and you’re reading that journal now! I also write songs with both frequency and urgency… so to say my writing practice has fallen away isn’t a fair assessment, either.

At any rate… this recent reflective time has shown me that; although there are miles to go before am finished, I am getting it. There are always things to try and things to stop trying… but I have to trust myself to hold on to the important stuff and filter out the suggestions that don’t mean so much to me.

I’m getting it.

The irony of this post is that despite trying my very best, I somehow managed to overlook the fact that last week, I didn’t manage to get anything posted. It was going to be a songwriting featurette but I just didn’t get it done in time.

So for the first time in 3 years… I missed the mark. Ahh, well.

world vegan day

Today… it falls on a saturday this year, so I get to actually write about it in the present tense! Today is a day celebrated by somewhere around 1% of the population – World Vegan Day – where we can congratulate each other on our efforts and remind ourselves that there’s always something more we can do to minimize our negative impact on the planet and the other Earthlings we share it with.

I know not everyone reading this is vegan, and as someone who became vegan at the age of 38 and spent a good while resenting veganism and many of it’s supporters, I do get it. Not everyone is ready and equipped to take this step at this precise moment in time.

I understand that vegans are an easy bunch to hate on, but for us it’s a catch 22. We constantly see posts online stating that “vegans are preachy” and “Q: how do you know if someone’s vegan? A: you don’t have to ask, they’ll just tell you.” thereby making it IMPOSSIBLE for a chill vegan to say anything without becoming the stereotype, when the truth is, the number of meat-eater responses to vegan posts that are just “bacon” or some tone-deaf and uninformed meme being passed off as actual information is far more antagonizing than any vegan comment I’ve eve seen – and I’ve seen a lot.

Truth be told, I’ve filtered posts with the words ‘vegan’ and veganism’ from my facebook feed intentionally because these comments are irritating, the images of factory farmed animals and abused animals posted in invoke a sympathetic like or share are too intense for me.

I primarily go online to be entertained, and the further I get into middle age, the more I realize that I long for the days when we were given actual, objective news and then expected to form our own opinions on what was happening in our world. At this point, I’d estimate that 95% of the internet is opinions posted by attention seekers who are under-qualified to speak on anything, let alone the subject they’re speaking on.

And although we’re all out here confirming our own biases, I will say that what first led me to become vegan was not animal rights (though that does align with me now – it just wasn’t the first thing that attracted me).

It was a health journey.

I truly believe that; depending on your goals, a conscious, whole food, vegan diet with a balanced macronutrient intake is the best decision most of us can make for overall health and longevity. This is based in scientific study. No, I won’t cite sources, but I will recommend some documentaries below.

I won’t say that veganism is the only way to be healthy, but I will say that a macronutrient-balanced whole food diet is the best way to simultaneously be healthy and minimize your carbon footprint. A whole food Vegan lifestyle is ideal for recovery and prevention of heart attack, stroke, dementia, digestive problems, skin problems. All the natural antioxidant (cancer preventing) foods are plants. The easiest way to follow the alkaline diet is by being vegan.

I didn’t lose 166 lbs on a vegan diet.
I lost 151 lbs on an omnivorous (meat eater) diet.
THEN I lost 15 lbs on a vegan diet.
… Then ran an olympic length triathlon course, and a half marathon.

I kept the weight off, and maintained an active lifestyle for 5 years (so far).

I currently weight 210 lbs, I have a resting heart rate of 46 bpm, and my blood pressure is textbook. I regularly run between 10km and 14km, bike 25km of trail, and can swim 1500m, and lift weights regularly. People regularly forget that I am vegan because I (a) don’t preach about it much, and (b) don’t look like your stereotypical vegan.

You can do whatever you want… if you’re open to change.

Happy World Vegan Day.

VEGAN DOCUMENTARY RECOMMENDATIONS:
Forks Over Knives
The Game Changers
They’re Trying To Kill Us
What The Health
Seaspiracy
Cowspiracy
Christspiracy
… and if you can handle it, Earthlings.