Tag: blog

adverse conditions

“The aforementioned old, sick version of me would react much more explosively than I do, but the person I’ve become is confused by these encounters. Not only for the fact that there’s an assumption that I’ll emit some volatile reaction at the first sight of sour news, but that I’m having their feelings of confusion projected onto me – like I’m the one confused.”

I’ve been actively dealing with and reflecting upon a situation in my daily life. I’ve got a few people in my life who’ve been there for a good long while and as I progress in my fitness, spirituality, and seek purpose in my life there are some who are incredibly encouraging and supportive – and some, who are not.

The ones who are not are making some assumptions about the changes I’ve gone through and goals I’ve accomplished and although they think they know me, what they really know is an old, sick, outdated version of me. There’s likely an assumption about me battling a mid-life crisis or just genuinely losing my mind, but in the end I’m a more focused, purpose-driven, happy, and healthy person.

The aforementioned old, sick version of me would react much more explosively than I do, but the person I’ve become is confused by these encounters. Not only for the fact that there’s an assumption that I’ll emit some volatile reaction at the first sight of sour news, but that I’m having their feelings of confusion projected onto me – like I’m the one confused. I’ve never been so clear in my life.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

If my writing seems diplomatic, it is that way by design. I’m not interested in exploiting anyone’s ignorance for my own personal ego boost, and I’m not interested in arguing. For that matter – I’m not interested in explaining myself at all. I really don’t owe anyone an explanation for anything and the last thing I would want is for anyone to feel the need to compare their situation to mine.

That said… just ask and I’ll tell you.

The only way I can describe it is to say I’m a different person. So different that I feel compelled to apologize to the people who knew me back then, for the set-in-my-ways, often belligerent and usually selfish demeanor. I have some things in common with that version of me, but every time I try something and win, I’m winning over that older version of me who never wanted to try in the first place. I’ve laid that old version of myself in his grave many times, and if I felt like I had something to prove (which I really don’t anymore) I’d be trying to prove that I’ve changed.

They say a person never steps in the same river twice.
Not the same river.
Not the same person.

For the time being, I’ll just be over here, keeping my head down and doing my thing – in the moment.

Training this week has seen it’s increases – particularly on Tuesday and Saturday. Here’s how it went:

Monday: Swam 750m. The pool was busy but we held fast to our obligation and that hot tub sit was glorious.
Tuesday: I thought I had a 45 minute bike ride, but the schedule told me it was a 60 minute ride. I overcame, and truthfully could have ridden longer (which I’ll eventually have to). I also did some weights targeting my biceps & chest.
Wednesday: I rested. My Tuesday rehearsals keep me out later than I typically would, so waking up a little later suits me well on this day.
Thursday: 30 minute run followed by 10 minutes on the stair climber. This workout is shorter because of my cramped schedule on Thursday mornings.
Friday: 45 minutes on the bike followed by a back & triceps workout. I found myself a little rushed to get everything done on this particular day, so I may have to shuffle a day or two around.
Saturday: This brick workout is 60 minutes on the bike and 15 minutes running.

I’m keeping my pedaling between 135 and 150 watts pretty consistently, with rpms around 60-65. I don’t actually know what my pulse is at this rate by I’m fairly sure it’s around 130 bpm… roughly double what the rpm’s are, as I hold a pretty good rhythm.

This coming week will be roughly the same, likely with a longer swim, but the following week things jump another 15 minutes on Tuesdays & Saturdays (which are days I don’t work, so they’re ideal for increased efforts).

Tonight, I’ll be playing at Mikey’s on 12th w/ my band Confusionaires, so all y’all in the Calgary area should consider dropping in and stompin’ a couple fresh dents in the dancefloor.

his dying wish

“Comments sections being the fountains of bootless insight that they are, the majority of commenters stated that they would grant a man his dying wish but since the 12-steps of Recovery tend to get well-battered by onlookers who don’t understand addiction and compulsion, I’m inclined to disagree with the majority.”

I recently happened upon some writing about William Griffith Wilson, often known as Bill W. who is credited as one of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous (12 step) and was the author of ‘The Big Book‘ which detailed how to successfully recover from alcoholism. Bill W.’s lifestyle leaves a little to be desired, as the lifestyles of many men in the first few decades of the 20th century might. I’m addressing it because there’s potential for some know-it-all to try and devalue my point by muddying it up by with irrelevant facts, but I won’t dwell on it because it’s not important to my statement.

The story that got me digging was the documented four (4) requests for a bottle of whiskey to be brought to him in his hospital bed as emphysema gradually dismantled him. Each request was made roughly a week after the previous one, and he was denied every time. When he passed, he was 36 years sober.

Comments sections being the fountains of bootless insight that they are, the majority of commenters stated that they would grant a man his dying wish but since the 12-steps of Recovery tend to get well-battered by onlookers who don’t understand addiction and compulsion, I’m inclined to disagree with the majority. What limited knowledge I have of the 12 steps indicates to me more that it’s a guide toward spiritual enlightenment more so than it is a fleeting attempt to prevent early death or lobbing a metaphorical grenade into all your personal relationships – but that is a discussion for another day, I reckon.

Anyway: The reason I; too, would have denied him has nothing to do with the power of addiction and everything to do with the power of legacy, and the fact that even the slightest rumors of that simple slip-up in the twilight hours of his life would have completely deflated the AA movement and may have shaken the ground on which many recovered addicts stood, and continue to stand now. It may be a documented 20% effective, but that’s still millions upon millions of people.

There are things we are part of that are important, and that are so much bigger than ourselves that deserve our respect even at our weakest points. The 12 steps of Recovery are steeped in this idea. We are artists and creators, and by association to our communities are contributors and groundbreakers, creating a legacy that will one day overshadow our small contributions. In my purview Bill W. is no different in this situation and I’m glad he was able to rely on the people around him at his weakest moments.

Maybe I’m wrong. Lemme know what you think!

Training this week was good. I adhered to my program without wavering and pushed myself as planned.

Monday we swam 750m, and spent a little over half an hour doing it. Neither of us had been in a pool since May so we figured that was a good place to start – and ultimately I don’t think either of us lost much in the way of speed, though we’ll see what happens when the distances increase.

Tuesday I rode 45 minutes on the stationary bike before spending another 40 minutes weightlifting, focusing on my chest and biceps (the ‘pushing’ muscles)

Wednesday was a rest day, and Thursday was a 30 minute jog with my heartrate sitting around 136 beats per minute, hovering consistently between 8.5 and 9 km/hour. Zone 2, babies. I didn’t get my 10 minutes on the stair climber due to running out of time, but I pushed hard on Friday to make up for it.

Friday I rode another 45 minutes – this time paying closer attention to my rpms and watts as I rode in a gear I haven’t been comfortable in since starting back up a few weeks ago… but I’m there now. So I’m pretty consistently pushing 150 watts at 60 rpms. After that I spent another 45 minutes primarily working my back & triceps (the ‘pulling’ muscles) and digging in hard on those muscle groups.

Today is Saturday, and I’ll be biking another 45 minutes and running 15 minutes – I’m possibly doing that as you read this, really. These numbers start to increase next week though.

All in all, I’m good with how this went and I’m looking forward to the increases in effort over the next week when I add time to a couple of those bike sessions.

the seasonal shift

“With the advent of Halloween being earlier this week, I don’t mind saying that I’ve been on borrowed time for a while, and as of earlier this week I moved my fitness efforts completely indoors for at least the next 5 or 6 months and I’m really pushing to keep my attitude positive about the impending weather – but know that I struggle.”

When I first started running in 2017, I set out to complete a couch-to-5k program that started on July 4th and stretched into August. The running bug got me real good, and I ran outdoors into the dark & cold months as late as I possibly could. The calendar date escapes me, but I’d surpassed Remembrance Day of that year, and I’d continued outdoors until the temperature reached -14 degrees Celsius (or about 6 degrees Fahrenheit).

I had a lot more “natural insulation” (as I’d gotten DOWN to about 265 lbs) back then, and these days I’m much more inclined to cop to being a wimp when it comes to the weather.

With the advent of Halloween being earlier this week, I don’t mind saying that I’ve been on borrowed time for a while, and as of earlier this week I moved my fitness efforts completely indoors for at least the next 5 or 6 months and I’m really pushing to keep my attitude positive about the impending weather – but know that I struggle.

Zone 2 heartrate training is the primary focus this winter as we gear up to do the Canadian Death Race with our relay team of Rad Moms & Dads. Kristian, the man behind Rad Dads is about to hit round 2 of fatherhood and is on our team. Naomi; my friend from way back, has been through the ringer with injuries upon accidents and is still running and still smiling through it all. Then there’s Lu and I – the 2 vegans on the team and the two who had the furthest to come; physically speaking over the past few years, to rise to this challenge.

The race is in August, which is both really far away and right around the corner. We aim to have a fruitful winter full of discipline and focus, and to grow as the spiritual being we are amid our human experience.

The only thing that could hang this up for me would be if Confusionaires secured a festival date for that weekend, in which case I’d have to sweet talk the team into relaying another ultramarathon… or, As Lu has suggested, just go do the course (or part of it) unassisted – which is kind of our M.O.

A side note about Zone 2 – this is a scientifically determined heart rate zone in which an athlete can increase their capacity for performance by spending time with their pulse between 60% and 70% of their max capacity. It’s determined by lactic testing of the blood, but for my purposes (read: budget) I’m defaulting to a range that I’ve determined using a number of different calculators including this one and have determined a common range using them. Eventually I’ll get tested but for my purposes, this will have to do.

With that, training this week has been pretty solid. In lieu of posting an active training schedule, perhaps more of a week-by-week approach is more ideal. That will allow me to stay more immersed in what’s happening and prevent me from the daunting number of weeks there’ll be snow on the ground.

Tuesday: 45 minute stationary bike ride (+20km) followed by back/tricep weight training
Thursday: 30 minute treadmill run (+4 km), 10 minute stair-climber
Friday: 45 minute stationary bike ride (+20km) followed by chest/bicep weight training
Saturday: 45minute stationary bike ride (+20km) followed by 15 minute treadmill run (+ 2km)

The distances indicated are not something I’d consider special, but as indicated in the side note about Zone 2, the important part is that I’m keeping my heart rate around 133-136 bpm for the entire duration (or close to it).

… Rest days are typically Wednesdays and Sundays and this week will start with a Monday swim, followed by roughly the same program, with slight changes to follow in subsequent weeks.

The acceleration of efforts and time spent will be gradual, primarily because I have all winter to work through and although I know I can handle more than I’m doing at the present moment, efforts will be pretty lofty in the spring and I want to take my time getting there… progressively.

Every day is a gift.

activism reaction

“Perhaps it’s due to the high volume of meat consumers in my home province of Alberta, or it could be the general sense of entitlement that comes with living in a prairie province, but when they asked if we were vegan and we said “yes” I sort of wanted a pat on the back. “

My family and I happened upon an animal rights demonstration outside a local Food & Music event a few months back. As much as I know these things take place with regularity, I’ve never actually seen one on a street corner before. Of course I’ve seen literature at punk rock shows, documentaries, videos online, and the like, and I’ve certainly read or been told about protests occurring near high-dollar restaurants – but on the street level, participating in a conversation… this was a first.

Perhaps it’s due to the high volume of meat consumers in my home province of Alberta, or it could be the general sense of entitlement that comes with living in a prairie province, but when they asked if we were vegan and we said “yes” I sort of wanted a pat on the back. I’ll admit I’m not immune to the effects of my own ego, but really in the end we came away from that encounter feeling like we weren’t doing enough.

Now, I don’t feel inferior. My voice and my platform are different, and they are that way by design because part of what I want to convey is not only can you live on plants, but that you can thrive in your creative life and be in excellent physical condition in doing so. I aim to dispel the notion that vegans are vitamin deficient and weak by my deeds, my lifestyle, and my creative output – which includes this blog (among other things).

The lesson I taught myself; or reminded myself of in this case, was one of pride and humility. I firmly believe that we honor those around us by offering the best of ourselves, and not being shy about our capabilities or downplaying our accomplishments. I also know the difference between speaking truth and bragging.

I don’t hold signs on street corners, but who’s to say I never will? I won’t limit myself in my abilities any more than I will commit to something that doesn’t light me up. The people we spoke to that day are impassioned, and their voice is just as important as mine.

Training is getting back on track in a more aggressive way this week. Starting Tuesday we’ll be back to a pretty firm 5 days per week that includes biking, running, and swimming as well as weight training. It feels simultaneously like a step backward, and like a big undertaking – but we know we need to inch our way into this program a bit after a chilled out fall season, and we’re slightly constricted by our work schedules.

My heart tells me not to let my work schedule get in the way of a good workout, but I have to remind myself that this program is mainly about the slow burn – the momentum and regularity of conditioning. Some mornings we really only have a 60 minute window to get to the gym, get sweaty, and get home, and we’re good with rolling with that.

There are no training days… only training weeks and months.

One Year

“if it’s humanly possible, then it can be done by any one of us.”

1 year ago yesterday I made my first blog entry.

To quickly reflect on what’s happened since then is wild. A year ago I was barely able to swim, and I’d have run further than 10km maybe once or twice ever at that time, and had never run on a trail before…

Since that time Lu and I have trained for and performed an Olympic Length Triathlon before throwing all our efforts behind a Half-Marathon training program. I then completed the Edmonton Half Marathon – my first formal event, and we’re staring down / training for some other challenges I might have never considered possible… since then I’ve made a concerted effort to make my 14.5km commute to work under my own power by either running or biking.

One year is a funny unit of measurement, especially since it’s such a common one. We’ll often think about what we were doing one… five… 10 years ago on New Years Eve, or birthdays, and where we’ll be, but the more seemingly arbitrary dates like October 21st are interesting to me… I mean in truth, today isn’t that arbitrary. It’s my mother’s birthday… it’s the anniversary of the day I moved into my house… and I saw Stiff Little Fingers in my home town that night after moving in! They were great!

I’ve always sort of felt like the year starts in the autumn (despite not being a student for more than 2 decades) but it seems to me that the year starts when the work starts, and the fall is certainly a return to that. Fall introduces the beginning inclement weather, training programs, and a return to normalcy (whatever that means), winter follows with it’s punishing workload, wherein everything is much more difficult. The Spring eventually follows and is largely caked in mud and smells like mold, and we clean up that mess in time to enjoy the end of the cycle – and the summertime is the reward at the end of the year.

Following that narrative, we’ll be moving back indoors for some proper Zone-2 training & strength training, and the occasional swim under controlled temperature and humidity. We’ll be measuring every effort and calorie to optimize our health as we hold onto hope for an early spring and an outdoor run.

I’ve mentioned it before, but we’re building a team to accomplish a goal. we have 4 people so far, and as much as that’s not enough to compete the way I’d like to, it’s enough to compete. Compete… what is that? This is always about finishing and learning.

I’ll cap this monologue with the thought that I come back to from time to time. It’s not ideal to spend too much time reminiscing about the past. Try as we might, we cannot live there, nor can we live in the future – we have to live in the here & now. If we try to live elsewhere, we’ll miss all the good stuff. And so as I quietly blow out the solitary candle on my metaphorical cupcake and celebrate 1 year of continuous blogging – which IS an accomplishment I’m proud of – I’ll say this:

If it’s humanly possible, then it can be done you.

I’ve been gradually ramping up the indoor training this week. A couple 45 minute stationary bike sessions and a couple of resistance training sessions have been successfully executed as I refamiliarize myself with my gym. I’ve devised a training plan for the winter months that gradually increases in intensity but it’s not firm enough to post a this point – I’m not totally sure that I will post the whole thing all at once. This may be more of a week by week sort of thing.

The reason for that is that I’m not 100% set on the parameters for each day of the week, and I do need to allow for travel days with my rock & roll band, so I think I can give a more accurate account on a more micro scale.

I’ll also be able to show “what the goal was” vs. “what I accomplished” because there are days when I go above and beyond, and days that I’m short on time due to other factors in my life. These things happen and we need to be objective about them. I’m unsure if I want to post about macronutrients and calories on a weekly basis – these things do fluctuate sometimes, be it intentional or not.

the fats you need and don’t need

“Most often, you’ll want to see between 25% and 33% of your daily calories come from fats… which if we’re sticking with the average 2000 kCal’s per day is around 50g total. Suddenly, that tablespoon of peanut butter just became more decadent.”

Hey all,

Since I’ve talked protein & carbs periodically over the past while, I might as well round this out a bit.

*** Dietary fats are essential to give your body energy and to support cell function. They also help protect your organs and help keep your body warm. Fats help your body absorb some nutrients and produce important hormones, too. ***

Now, as much as fats are a fuel source, fats are not the body’s preferred fuel source. That title is reserved for carbohydrates – which can be problematic for people opting to go on a ketogenic diet for an extended period of time. Issues with not being able to stay awake, or having brain fog are of definite concern, so if you’re ‘on the keto’ and experiencing this, I’d advocate trying something else.

A common misconception is that ‘fats make you fat’ which is woefully untrue even though 1 gram of fat = 9 calories so you are bound to find that something low in fat, like pineapple, is going to be much more plentiful and functional within your (average) 2000 kCal’s per day than something with a lot of fat, such as peanut butter. By comparison, a 25g tablespoon of peanut butter will net you roughly 150 kcals, compared to 300g of pineapple which will also net you 150 kcals – which is enough to fill a soup bowl. So with a bunch of fat in your diet, you’ll find it pretty hard to stay within the average 2000 kCal’s per day.

However, super low fat intake has it’s downsides as well – including dry & flaky skin, sensitivity to sunburn, moodiness. Most often, you’ll want to see between 25% and 33% of your daily calories come from fats… which if we’re sticking with the average 2000 kCal’s per day is around 50g total. Suddenly, that tablespoon of peanut butter just became more decadent.

This brings us to the Omega 3 Fatty Acids. They are an integral part of cell membranes throughout the body and affect the function of the cell receptors in these membranes. They provide the starting point for making hormones that regulate blood clotting, contraction and relaxation of artery walls, and inflammation. Obviously, these are essential, and not all fats are created equal, that is to say, not all fats are Omega 3’s.

Fat sources for Omegas include nuts, seeds, and avocados, and as much as I wouldn’t personally advocate the consumption of fish (for both ethical reason and for the high levels of mercury and microplastics we’ve put in the ocean) or eggs (for ethics as well, and the extremely high cholesterol content has caused researchers to compare it to smoking cigarettes) you CAN get Omega-3’s this way. Of the top 12 foods to get your Omega-3’s from, the top 8 are fish sources, followed by ground flax seeds, chia seeds, walnuts, and soybeans.

I will say that between the Fats, Proteins, and Carbohydrates, you can lead a healthy life by implementing a good cross section of all the plant foods you can get. Generally… everything else falls into place.

Training this week has been bittersweet. I’m fairly sure I just had what was my last bicycle commute of the year. The +2 celcius mornings I can ultimately contend with, but with the leaves falling and turning into a slick, frosty pulp makes my personal safety a little uncertain, and banging-up my precious guitar fingers just isn’t an option for me.

Lu and I are formulating our plan to move indoors, including mapping out an ideal swimming and cross-training schedule between endurance sessions. I’ll make that all available before too long, for those of you following along at home. For the time being I’m increasing my frequency of going to the gym in the mornings – something I didn’t do for the first half of the week, but I did have some time-sensitive things to tend following the long weekend.

Over the past while, I’ve had several – a dozen or so – people reach out with stories about how they’ve felt inspired by this blog. Without patting myself on the back (since I didn’t do that – they did!) I hope they see fit to be open about their experiences and inspire people around them.

the harvest

Thanksgiving has never really meant much to me.

I’ve never been big on turkey or ham – obviously less so now that my relationship with the animal kingdom is that of a respectful spectator. Maybe I was ungrateful, or maybe we just didn’t have enough extended family around when I was a kid, but the meaning behind Thanksgiving seemed a ironic to me since we were giving thanks to the creator for the harvest.

As a kid, this just meant summer was over, and that I wasn’t allowed to have any friends over – which didn’t matter much since they weren’t allowed to go outside and do anything either.

As a parent, it means even less.

As a descendant of European colonizers, it’s lost what little meaning it ever had.

As a vegan; however, I feel overjoyed to be part of an ecosystem that is self-sustaining despite the corporate greed that’s weaved it’s way into the fabric of our lives. I’m reminded that the earth owes us nothing, and that we owe it everything. I’m also reminded that you can put seeds in the ground, put water on them, and food comes out – which is more and more remarkable with each passing year.

The creator though – regardless of how you might think of your tumultuous religious upbringing or lack there of – is interesting. If we take the various spiritual texts at face value, and understand that nature (among other things) is a force much bigger and stronger than any of us; which is something that those of us who identify as addicts should be painfully aware of, we’ll also find written that we are made in the image of the creator. This means that we; too, are creators – artists, metal workers, musicians, carpenters, dancers, writers, gardeners, storytellers, – and if there is something I am grateful for in the midst of this socially contracted long weekend, it’s that I am both capable and affirmed in my efforts of creating, and positively affecting the lives of those in my community with my contributions.

So if that’s what we’re celebrating, then happy thanksgiving.

Training this week has been magical. Still riding my bike for transportation; which admittedly has cut into my running a bunch, and cross-training – but I feel the cycling-to-work season closing in around me. Truthfully I have a hard time just “going for a bike ride” without a set destination and a specific time I aim to arrive. Perhaps I’ll be able to change that about myself at some point but it’s just how I tend to treat that activity – except when I’m on a stationary bike, obviously.

Fall is certainly upon us and it’s a special time to be in the river valley. We spend as much time there as we possibly can, especially now that we’re headed into that part of the year where we’re at a deficit for sunlight and nature. This last couple of weeks certainly feels like we’re on borrowed time.

I just returned from a music conference earlier this week, so I’ve got a head full of ideas and the future is promising. That said – Conscious Pilgrim video production has obviously taken a bit of a turn, and will continue to be that way. I intend to post to YouTube periodically. My plan was to post a summer recap (talk about the half marathon, etc) but living in an old house with old appliances and driving an old vehicle have certainly sidelined me with some much-needed repair & maintenance of the aforementioned, and without putting too fine of a point on it, I’ve been a little too busy living life to post about it.

The blog will continue. I love to write – it feels effortless to me and therefor is not a hindrance. My video skills; however, are needed to generate content for Confusionaires at this time and I am anticipating a fairly busy 2023 with that band. I have an eternal appreciation for anyone who can maintain a Youtube Channel in any meaningful way.