Tag: canadian athlete

well-meaning

“the knowledge that everyone is doing their best should grant us all a little leeway, perhaps even a shot at redemption and forgiveness now & then – the flip-side of that would mean we’d have to be patient with each other”

In the spirit of the season where we tend to gather with our family and loved ones, I feel compelled to broach this topic. Chances are pretty good that if you have a family that you’re in semi-regular contact with, they spend some time driving you nuts… and really, you don’t have to be blood to be family.

I have challenges with people in my life as we all do and as easy as it is for my overactive analytical mind to vilify those folks, I’ve been trying to take things more at face value rather than to find some more deeper, sinister meaning. I’ve come to realize a few things, many of which I’ve shared and many more that I eventually will share.

One of those things is: Everyone is doing their best.

This is universal. Nobody I know is going out of their way to be the villain in any scenario – at best they’re unwittingly being selfish or insensitive, in which case they’d be doing their best to look out for themselves. We all try (and often fail) to relate to each other through humor and sarcasm, through being nosey, through asking hard questions, and many other generally irritating things day in & day out and sometimes they’re received well and sometimes they’re not. I make a diligent effort not to drive my own kid bonkers the way my own parents have a capacity to do to me, but I’m sure I miss the mark more often than I’m aware.

In any event, I know I am loved even though I am often misunderstood.
I want my child to know the same.

In any event, the knowledge that everyone is doing their best should grant us all a little leeway, perhaps even a shot at redemption and forgiveness now & then – the flip-side of that would mean we’d have to be patient with each other, of course.

The other thought today, which is not dissimilar, is: I cannot control what someone else thinks or does. I can only control my actions or reactions.

If someone says something upsetting to me, I can choose not to get upset. We all have that kind of control – we know it because we’ve all dined with an elderly person who’s said something antiquated and narrow-minded and we’ve let it go before as a courtesy. We likely didn’t agree with what was said but we also should have no interest in embarrassing anyone, so at our most aggressive we can try to help them see things from another point of view, respectfully.

In this same way we can choose not to take jokes personally, and we can choose not to make jokes at others’ expense. We can protect others from our commentary simply by not commenting. We can stifle our reactions – not because we’re weak or passive, but because we’re strong enough to let the moment pass… because not everything needs defending and not every conversation needs to be an argument.

I endeavor to only really worry about things that are in my control and to disregard things that are not. The result has been that I hold much more sway over important matters because I’ve saved my energy for them, and that energy was saved because it wasn’t misspent on other things.

In essence, I won’t worry much about people’s feelings on a particular topic, but I also won’t hurt their feelings in the first place – which means I won’t have to worry about their feelings, and they won’t react negatively to my commentary. I can misspeak, and I can apologize if need be.

I try my damnedest to let the hard moments pass and savor the good ones. This is how great memories are made, particularly around memorable occasions like Christmas & New Years’. You’ll never hear me say that the holidays aren’t a trying time, and I’m sensitive to those who’ve had hard holidays. I fully realize that some of this comes years too late for some, but it’s never too late to set a positive tone with the people around you now.

So whether it be in the spirit of the season, or just in the spirit of the fact that we’re all a bunch of evolved primates trying to navigate a series of social engagements when we’d rather hide under the blankets of our warm beds… try and take it easy on people, and try and take it easy on yourself.

This week I shuffled some workout sessions around. I’m finding that in some ways I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, and on other days I’ve got way more energy to spend – so I’m trying to balance these things out for consistent effort.

Monday saw me at the gym at 6am, doing the cardio and weight training that Tuesday would normally host, but Tuesday was fraught with appointments. Wednesday maintained it’s rest status since Tuesday can be a late night for me.
Thursday was amplified in a big way. 75 minutes in Zone 2 on the bike followed by 10 minutes on the rowing machine, which was a fun addition. I’ve used the rowing machine before but not in a serious or regular way, so I’ll be incorporating that a bit more.
Friday was a 30 minute run around the track at my gym, followed by a triceps/back workout, and Saturday had an interruption from our regularly scheduled program due to an appointment, but would have been a 90 minute bike/run.

All in all, this is a better system, and I ultimately get 6.5 hours of training in every week. 7.5 if I get a swim in, which has been challenging, so I’m calling that a ‘bonus’ session at this point.

The kicker has been that on Monday, Thursday and Friday, I stayed at the gym for an extra half hour and then went straight to work – and adjustment, to be sure, but one I can roll with.

Moving my Tuesday workout helps me get more done on Tuesday… since I’m often at the gym for a couple hours, once I account for locker room time, transportation, etc. a good chunk of my days is spent. This is a possible solution because I need some uninterrupted time in a creative space, and I’m hopeful this will help. I’ll still be able to do some calisthenics at home on Tuesday, which is my plan, but likely just as a measure of getting a few things done that don’t get done on other days.

As soon as I establish balance, something else will come up… but I will welcome it, because that is what happens in a fruitful life.

your own advice

“To live a full life is to be immersed in these joy-bringing and purpose-driven activities without the distractions I regularly supply myself with. I’m a creator and I need to be immersed in creativity in order to really be fruitful.”

I think a lot about a lot.

I genuinely put a good effort into these weekly posts and I’m pretty proud of the consistency that’s been maintained here. I give a lot of guidance by way of personal revelation but I recently blew my own mind as I was once again obsessing about weight-loss, calories, and macronutrients when Lu; my favorite person to receive earth-shaking revelations from, fed me some of my own rhetoric.

Her exact words don’t come to mind as I craft this, but suffice it to say that it’s word-for-word written in the back pages of this blog. It pertains to my fixation on living in the moment, thereby being happy where I am (as opposed to living in the past, or thinking too far into the future).

I spend a lot of time thinking about fitness. Saying that I spend more time thinking about working out than I do actually working out is an easy statement to make. The same can be said about my diet – I think about food for WAY more time than I do actually eating; and although these are great and important things, the truth of the matter is that these are distractions.

I plan my meals. I plan my workouts. There’s really nothing to think about – but that doesn’t seem to stop me from thinking about them. Really, when I’m doing anything, I should be focused on what’s happening in that moment. I need to be more present with the people around me, and with the other things that enrich my life, such as writing and performing music… working on my car… walking my dog…

These are the things that make me rich. I live a lifestyle that sounds like a dream to most people but it is that way on purpose. I live like a successful person, so I am one. That might sound like it’s too simple to be true but it’s really is that easy.

To live a full life is to be immersed in these joy-bringing and purpose-driven activities without the distractions I regularly supply myself with. I’m a creator and I need to be immersed in creativity in order to really be fruitful.

I believe they call this type of action “focus“

All that said… the start to he week was challenging. The drop in temperatures have made everything – particularly transportation, take longer than expected. I’m also contending with a different work schedule that involves longer days on account of the amount of traveling I’m anticipating doing this year for music. I also had a banger of a show on the weekend that took some time to recover and reflect.

I’ll preface this by saying I don’t intend to come across as complaining. Really I’m attempting to just be real about things.

All that to say – I didn’t swim on Monday as planned, and Tuesday‘s 75-minute bike ride and chest/biceps workout was pretty taxing as well.
Wednesday remains a rest day and I was thankful for it, meaning that Thursday‘s 30-minute run & 10-minute stair climb were especially therapeutic. Now… Friday‘s session had to change. 45 minutes on the bike and a back/triceps workout are too much for my morning now that my work schedule has changed. This week I’ve resolved to do my back/triceps workout first, and then I’d intended to round out my gym time with the rowing machine, which is an endurance machine I enjoy but have not spent much time with lately. I spent zero minutes on the rowing machine, but I have a plan to rectify this for next week.
Saturday is a bike/run combo that I may or may not being doing at the precise moment this gets posted (technology is wild). This week it’s 45 minutes on the bike and a 30 minute run.

My day job is funny. My schedule is whatever I want it to be (within reason). I need to maintain an average number of hours logged to compensate for time taken to play music, which is not because I need the money but because my job requires a certain amount of attention in order to be done properly. Since I can’t handle staying later than my current 6pm end time, I go in an hour early every day I’m scheduled… which cuts into gym time. I’m unsure of how I’ll be able to maintain this over the year but I have to try.

I do need this job.

So this is my solution for now, and should get me through the winter. Springtime will bring it’s own training challenges, I’m sure – but at least I shouldn’t have to contend with the weather in such an aggressive manor.

So if my biggest issue is that I don’t have enough spare time to physically devastate myself a couple o’ days per week… well, I’m doing ok.

the finest print

“… that small decluttering of our periphery has allowed for a more concentrated focus on the tasks at hand – which are very exciting.”

Alignment. Personal alignment of mind body and spirit – that’s the daily goal and the eternal pursuit.

I’ve been finding that; although I feel completely aligned in the broad sense of the term, there are always some days that are just better than others – and the less good days need to be given the respect they deserve. Without those (relatively speaking) down days, we wouldn’t knw that the good days are.

Lately I’ve been feeling really good – like it’s all laid out in front of me. It’s as though my list of priorities are all getting the amount of time and attention they need right now and it’s inspiring all on it’s own. My girlfriend and I have been focused; somewhat peripherally, on a project that we’ve elected to put on the back burner for the time being. The reason for that is that we’ve both come to our own similar, yet separate, conclusions that this particular project hasn’t been serving us the way it should if it’s to become a priority.

Our two independent, yet same realizations have allowed us to realize that we were becoming a bit distracted with the project – and that distraction was only taking a small measure of time and energy away from our main priority right now – which is my band, Confusionaires. It wasn’t a massive distraction, but it was a distraction nonetheless – and that really only means it’s a distraction now.

A lot of ideas don’t take flight because of poor timing, and I can chock this idea up to that pretty easily. Frankly, the idea of following through on that idea later, rather than sooner, is just exciting.

In the meantime, that small decluttering of our periphery has allowed for a more concentrated focus on the tasks at hand – which are very exciting. I’ve got a new record coming out in 2023 – it’s a record that the band is really excited about, and I truly believe it’s a high water mark for all of us. It’s also going to have the best launch campaign budget of any album I’ve been a part of.

It’s a lesson; among many, about living in the moment and attracting more of what you are, rather than what you want.

This post is entitled ‘the finest print’ partly in reference to a Tom Waits quote I’ve always appreciated: “The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away” which is among other things, a statement about keeping your wits about you. When your body, mind & spirit, are in alignment you’re aware of the small print without incident, and the broad scope view of everything is just as detailed as the microscope view.

If I have any words of encouragement on this subject, it’s to trust yourself and trust your process.

Training this week has been good, but taxing. My increased efforts are certainly being felt, and my diligence in fueling myself needs to be executed with precision. This became painfully obvious to me on Wednesday.

Typically, on the days I’m at work, following my program is simple. I can only eat the food I brought and I eat it at prescribed times through the day. But on Wednesday when I was summoned to pick up my sick kid from school mid-day, I forgot to eat mid-day. All of a sudden it was 6:30 and I was in a poor state from not eating, but I couldn’t really even figure out why. I ate a meal and had a very difficult time stopping eating after that – the old food addict tendencies had kicked back in with force and I’m fortunate that there isn’t much junk food in my house.

But I have to move forward.

Monday‘s swim was great – a full kilometer in roughly 45 minutes, which is a time I can be happy with after years of fear of the deep end of the pool.
Tuesday I pedaled for 60 minutes and worked my chest and biceps hard.
Wednesday was a rest day, but Thursday became a rest day inadvertently as well. My dog got me up at 2:30 to go out and I just couldn’t get back to sleep, so when my alarm went off at 4:30am I got out of bed and tried to make a go of my usual morning, but it just couldn’t happen. I have to be ok with the fact that I went back to bed.
Friday was 45 minutes on the bike and a back & triceps workout, and Saturday is set to be a 60 minute bike ride and a 15 minute run. This week I flipped those two in the interest of saving time… I’m not sure it worked though.

All things considered, I feel like I’ve moved past the Wednesday eating hiccup and the missed training session on Thursday pretty well. I have to strive to not have these things happen, but I also have to know I can get past them, and the sooner I get past those bumps in the road, the more I can live in this moment – and this moment is pretty great.

adverse conditions

“The aforementioned old, sick version of me would react much more explosively than I do, but the person I’ve become is confused by these encounters. Not only for the fact that there’s an assumption that I’ll emit some volatile reaction at the first sight of sour news, but that I’m having their feelings of confusion projected onto me – like I’m the one confused.”

I’ve been actively dealing with and reflecting upon a situation in my daily life. I’ve got a few people in my life who’ve been there for a good long while and as I progress in my fitness, spirituality, and seek purpose in my life there are some who are incredibly encouraging and supportive – and some, who are not.

The ones who are not are making some assumptions about the changes I’ve gone through and goals I’ve accomplished and although they think they know me, what they really know is an old, sick, outdated version of me. There’s likely an assumption about me battling a mid-life crisis or just genuinely losing my mind, but in the end I’m a more focused, purpose-driven, happy, and healthy person.

The aforementioned old, sick version of me would react much more explosively than I do, but the person I’ve become is confused by these encounters. Not only for the fact that there’s an assumption that I’ll emit some volatile reaction at the first sight of sour news, but that I’m having their feelings of confusion projected onto me – like I’m the one confused. I’ve never been so clear in my life.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

If my writing seems diplomatic, it is that way by design. I’m not interested in exploiting anyone’s ignorance for my own personal ego boost, and I’m not interested in arguing. For that matter – I’m not interested in explaining myself at all. I really don’t owe anyone an explanation for anything and the last thing I would want is for anyone to feel the need to compare their situation to mine.

That said… just ask and I’ll tell you.

The only way I can describe it is to say I’m a different person. So different that I feel compelled to apologize to the people who knew me back then, for the set-in-my-ways, often belligerent and usually selfish demeanor. I have some things in common with that version of me, but every time I try something and win, I’m winning over that older version of me who never wanted to try in the first place. I’ve laid that old version of myself in his grave many times, and if I felt like I had something to prove (which I really don’t anymore) I’d be trying to prove that I’ve changed.

They say a person never steps in the same river twice.
Not the same river.
Not the same person.

For the time being, I’ll just be over here, keeping my head down and doing my thing – in the moment.

Training this week has seen it’s increases – particularly on Tuesday and Saturday. Here’s how it went:

Monday: Swam 750m. The pool was busy but we held fast to our obligation and that hot tub sit was glorious.
Tuesday: I thought I had a 45 minute bike ride, but the schedule told me it was a 60 minute ride. I overcame, and truthfully could have ridden longer (which I’ll eventually have to). I also did some weights targeting my biceps & chest.
Wednesday: I rested. My Tuesday rehearsals keep me out later than I typically would, so waking up a little later suits me well on this day.
Thursday: 30 minute run followed by 10 minutes on the stair climber. This workout is shorter because of my cramped schedule on Thursday mornings.
Friday: 45 minutes on the bike followed by a back & triceps workout. I found myself a little rushed to get everything done on this particular day, so I may have to shuffle a day or two around.
Saturday: This brick workout is 60 minutes on the bike and 15 minutes running.

I’m keeping my pedaling between 135 and 150 watts pretty consistently, with rpms around 60-65. I don’t actually know what my pulse is at this rate by I’m fairly sure it’s around 130 bpm… roughly double what the rpm’s are, as I hold a pretty good rhythm.

This coming week will be roughly the same, likely with a longer swim, but the following week things jump another 15 minutes on Tuesdays & Saturdays (which are days I don’t work, so they’re ideal for increased efforts).

Tonight, I’ll be playing at Mikey’s on 12th w/ my band Confusionaires, so all y’all in the Calgary area should consider dropping in and stompin’ a couple fresh dents in the dancefloor.

his dying wish

“Comments sections being the fountains of bootless insight that they are, the majority of commenters stated that they would grant a man his dying wish but since the 12-steps of Recovery tend to get well-battered by onlookers who don’t understand addiction and compulsion, I’m inclined to disagree with the majority.”

I recently happened upon some writing about William Griffith Wilson, often known as Bill W. who is credited as one of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous (12 step) and was the author of ‘The Big Book‘ which detailed how to successfully recover from alcoholism. Bill W.’s lifestyle leaves a little to be desired, as the lifestyles of many men in the first few decades of the 20th century might. I’m addressing it because there’s potential for some know-it-all to try and devalue my point by muddying it up by with irrelevant facts, but I won’t dwell on it because it’s not important to my statement.

The story that got me digging was the documented four (4) requests for a bottle of whiskey to be brought to him in his hospital bed as emphysema gradually dismantled him. Each request was made roughly a week after the previous one, and he was denied every time. When he passed, he was 36 years sober.

Comments sections being the fountains of bootless insight that they are, the majority of commenters stated that they would grant a man his dying wish but since the 12-steps of Recovery tend to get well-battered by onlookers who don’t understand addiction and compulsion, I’m inclined to disagree with the majority. What limited knowledge I have of the 12 steps indicates to me more that it’s a guide toward spiritual enlightenment more so than it is a fleeting attempt to prevent early death or lobbing a metaphorical grenade into all your personal relationships – but that is a discussion for another day, I reckon.

Anyway: The reason I; too, would have denied him has nothing to do with the power of addiction and everything to do with the power of legacy, and the fact that even the slightest rumors of that simple slip-up in the twilight hours of his life would have completely deflated the AA movement and may have shaken the ground on which many recovered addicts stood, and continue to stand now. It may be a documented 20% effective, but that’s still millions upon millions of people.

There are things we are part of that are important, and that are so much bigger than ourselves that deserve our respect even at our weakest points. The 12 steps of Recovery are steeped in this idea. We are artists and creators, and by association to our communities are contributors and groundbreakers, creating a legacy that will one day overshadow our small contributions. In my purview Bill W. is no different in this situation and I’m glad he was able to rely on the people around him at his weakest moments.

Maybe I’m wrong. Lemme know what you think!

Training this week was good. I adhered to my program without wavering and pushed myself as planned.

Monday we swam 750m, and spent a little over half an hour doing it. Neither of us had been in a pool since May so we figured that was a good place to start – and ultimately I don’t think either of us lost much in the way of speed, though we’ll see what happens when the distances increase.

Tuesday I rode 45 minutes on the stationary bike before spending another 40 minutes weightlifting, focusing on my chest and biceps (the ‘pushing’ muscles)

Wednesday was a rest day, and Thursday was a 30 minute jog with my heartrate sitting around 136 beats per minute, hovering consistently between 8.5 and 9 km/hour. Zone 2, babies. I didn’t get my 10 minutes on the stair climber due to running out of time, but I pushed hard on Friday to make up for it.

Friday I rode another 45 minutes – this time paying closer attention to my rpms and watts as I rode in a gear I haven’t been comfortable in since starting back up a few weeks ago… but I’m there now. So I’m pretty consistently pushing 150 watts at 60 rpms. After that I spent another 45 minutes primarily working my back & triceps (the ‘pulling’ muscles) and digging in hard on those muscle groups.

Today is Saturday, and I’ll be biking another 45 minutes and running 15 minutes – I’m possibly doing that as you read this, really. These numbers start to increase next week though.

All in all, I’m good with how this went and I’m looking forward to the increases in effort over the next week when I add time to a couple of those bike sessions.

the seasonal shift

“With the advent of Halloween being earlier this week, I don’t mind saying that I’ve been on borrowed time for a while, and as of earlier this week I moved my fitness efforts completely indoors for at least the next 5 or 6 months and I’m really pushing to keep my attitude positive about the impending weather – but know that I struggle.”

When I first started running in 2017, I set out to complete a couch-to-5k program that started on July 4th and stretched into August. The running bug got me real good, and I ran outdoors into the dark & cold months as late as I possibly could. The calendar date escapes me, but I’d surpassed Remembrance Day of that year, and I’d continued outdoors until the temperature reached -14 degrees Celsius (or about 6 degrees Fahrenheit).

I had a lot more “natural insulation” (as I’d gotten DOWN to about 265 lbs) back then, and these days I’m much more inclined to cop to being a wimp when it comes to the weather.

With the advent of Halloween being earlier this week, I don’t mind saying that I’ve been on borrowed time for a while, and as of earlier this week I moved my fitness efforts completely indoors for at least the next 5 or 6 months and I’m really pushing to keep my attitude positive about the impending weather – but know that I struggle.

Zone 2 heartrate training is the primary focus this winter as we gear up to do the Canadian Death Race with our relay team of Rad Moms & Dads. Kristian, the man behind Rad Dads is about to hit round 2 of fatherhood and is on our team. Naomi; my friend from way back, has been through the ringer with injuries upon accidents and is still running and still smiling through it all. Then there’s Lu and I – the 2 vegans on the team and the two who had the furthest to come; physically speaking over the past few years, to rise to this challenge.

The race is in August, which is both really far away and right around the corner. We aim to have a fruitful winter full of discipline and focus, and to grow as the spiritual being we are amid our human experience.

The only thing that could hang this up for me would be if Confusionaires secured a festival date for that weekend, in which case I’d have to sweet talk the team into relaying another ultramarathon… or, As Lu has suggested, just go do the course (or part of it) unassisted – which is kind of our M.O.

A side note about Zone 2 – this is a scientifically determined heart rate zone in which an athlete can increase their capacity for performance by spending time with their pulse between 60% and 70% of their max capacity. It’s determined by lactic testing of the blood, but for my purposes (read: budget) I’m defaulting to a range that I’ve determined using a number of different calculators including this one and have determined a common range using them. Eventually I’ll get tested but for my purposes, this will have to do.

With that, training this week has been pretty solid. In lieu of posting an active training schedule, perhaps more of a week-by-week approach is more ideal. That will allow me to stay more immersed in what’s happening and prevent me from the daunting number of weeks there’ll be snow on the ground.

Tuesday: 45 minute stationary bike ride (+20km) followed by back/tricep weight training
Thursday: 30 minute treadmill run (+4 km), 10 minute stair-climber
Friday: 45 minute stationary bike ride (+20km) followed by chest/bicep weight training
Saturday: 45minute stationary bike ride (+20km) followed by 15 minute treadmill run (+ 2km)

The distances indicated are not something I’d consider special, but as indicated in the side note about Zone 2, the important part is that I’m keeping my heart rate around 133-136 bpm for the entire duration (or close to it).

… Rest days are typically Wednesdays and Sundays and this week will start with a Monday swim, followed by roughly the same program, with slight changes to follow in subsequent weeks.

The acceleration of efforts and time spent will be gradual, primarily because I have all winter to work through and although I know I can handle more than I’m doing at the present moment, efforts will be pretty lofty in the spring and I want to take my time getting there… progressively.

Every day is a gift.

activism reaction

“Perhaps it’s due to the high volume of meat consumers in my home province of Alberta, or it could be the general sense of entitlement that comes with living in a prairie province, but when they asked if we were vegan and we said “yes” I sort of wanted a pat on the back. “

My family and I happened upon an animal rights demonstration outside a local Food & Music event a few months back. As much as I know these things take place with regularity, I’ve never actually seen one on a street corner before. Of course I’ve seen literature at punk rock shows, documentaries, videos online, and the like, and I’ve certainly read or been told about protests occurring near high-dollar restaurants – but on the street level, participating in a conversation… this was a first.

Perhaps it’s due to the high volume of meat consumers in my home province of Alberta, or it could be the general sense of entitlement that comes with living in a prairie province, but when they asked if we were vegan and we said “yes” I sort of wanted a pat on the back. I’ll admit I’m not immune to the effects of my own ego, but really in the end we came away from that encounter feeling like we weren’t doing enough.

Now, I don’t feel inferior. My voice and my platform are different, and they are that way by design because part of what I want to convey is not only can you live on plants, but that you can thrive in your creative life and be in excellent physical condition in doing so. I aim to dispel the notion that vegans are vitamin deficient and weak by my deeds, my lifestyle, and my creative output – which includes this blog (among other things).

The lesson I taught myself; or reminded myself of in this case, was one of pride and humility. I firmly believe that we honor those around us by offering the best of ourselves, and not being shy about our capabilities or downplaying our accomplishments. I also know the difference between speaking truth and bragging.

I don’t hold signs on street corners, but who’s to say I never will? I won’t limit myself in my abilities any more than I will commit to something that doesn’t light me up. The people we spoke to that day are impassioned, and their voice is just as important as mine.

Training is getting back on track in a more aggressive way this week. Starting Tuesday we’ll be back to a pretty firm 5 days per week that includes biking, running, and swimming as well as weight training. It feels simultaneously like a step backward, and like a big undertaking – but we know we need to inch our way into this program a bit after a chilled out fall season, and we’re slightly constricted by our work schedules.

My heart tells me not to let my work schedule get in the way of a good workout, but I have to remind myself that this program is mainly about the slow burn – the momentum and regularity of conditioning. Some mornings we really only have a 60 minute window to get to the gym, get sweaty, and get home, and we’re good with rolling with that.

There are no training days… only training weeks and months.