Tag: diy

intellectualizing an emotional response

“Few things happen without thought, and of course the conscious decision to be more grateful, loving, caring, and open has to take place in the brain first, but the practice of getting there is similar to any other training you can put yourself through.”

How often do we ‘should’ ourselves…

We see it all the time in our bird’s eye view of impassioned online debates – the kind of debates that make you want to log off forever and throw your electronic devices into the sun: the battle of scientific fact vs. feeling. These debates don’t have winners in the traditional sense, just people who endure longer than others before locating the ‘block’ button.

‘This is a scientific fact’ vs ‘this is how someone feels’ knows no boundary. Everything from Covid-19 vaccines to whether or not Pluto is a planet seem to illicit both an intellectual and an emotional response, but when are these actually appropriate in our daily lives?

I don’t mean online. If anything, I’d advocate for abstaining from such online debates.

Interestingly, there’ve been studies done to show that although we live and work in a time when there are readily available data analytics for everything (as is the byproduct of having computers so central in our lives), that in professional settings, the extrapolation of such data is either (a) not done in the first place, or (b) completely ignored in favor of a gut-decision made by a manager or executive who largely relies on personal experience as rationale. The studies are often cherry-picked after the fact in an effort to back up the boss’ decision, but typically only in cases where the decision is under scrutiny.

In our personal lives, emotional responses typically make their home around joy, patience, kindness, gentleness, gratitude, and the like – but we as humans are masters of intellectualizing our responses to this just as much as we are masters of emotionalizing math & science. Questions like “Am I showing enough gratitude, and how can I respond better?” or “What are some ways I can be more patient?” do come about, and no doubt come from a good place – but may end up being a little too heady to be genuine. As well, topics like the climate change debate get confirmed or denied based on how we feel about making changes to our daily lives more than any scientific data that’s available.

Few things happen without thought, and of course the conscious decision to be more grateful, loving, caring, and open has to take place in the brain first, but the practice of getting there is similar to any other training you can put yourself through. For example:
– I don’t think about running: I just go for a run at a predetermined time of day for a predetermined distance.
– I don’t think about protein intake: I plan my meals ahead of time, and rest knowing I’m getting what I need when the time comes.
– I don’t think about meditation: I meditate.

These are all things that require some forethought or planning, of course, but when the time comes to actually do them, the infrastructure is already in place for me to do them. I might think about them anyway (or obsess, if we’re being totally transparent), but I really don’t need to do so, in the same way I don’t need to think about what I’m wearing to work tomorrow, because there’s a dress code / uniform and that decision has been made – but I’ll take 20 long minutes to determine what T-shirt I want to wear on a day I’m not scheduled to work only to get dog drool on it in less time than it took to select it. Perhaps my selection of cool T-shirts is too expansive and overwhelming. Nah.

In the end, if I want to show more gratitude for what good things come my way, then I need to begin by acknowledging and appreciating what I have here & now, and not not be too concerned with what it looks like from someone else’s perspective. Love, patience, kindness, and gentleness require similar action – being loving rather than thinking about being loving, being patient rather than thinking about being patient, showing kindness rather than thinking kind thoughts…

If my heart, mind & body are in alignment, then my genuine response will speak for me… and ultimately will require no thought whatsoever.

Training this week has been good. Hard… but good. I have a real desire to push my body to it’s ever-moving limits and I feel satisfied when I get there, but being properly fed is an important piece of that puzzle that I need to prioritize. I’m typically in a slight calorie deficit but sometimes that means ‘running in the red’ a little bit. I almost never feel it during the workout, but the recovery time that follows the workout can feel like a real slog so I need to make sure I’m giving myself enough of what I need to repair my muscles between workouts… which is protein.

We also tried a new smoothie this week that blew my mind and highlighted some things I’ve been missing in my daily food consumption – namely: kale. It gave me the boost of energy I needed to really push my limits at the gym, and reminded me of the importance; not only of diet, but of a varied diet.

As an aside, I’ve also missed a run or two this past week – largely due to forest fire smoke blowing into Edmonton from southern BC. It’s been hard not to reprimand myself for missing these sessions but I’m at no risk of falling off the wagon here… my practice is strong and I can handle an extra rest day here & there provided my calorie consumption is in check. It’s important to remember that there are no training days… only training weeks and training months, and that there IS room to move within my program.

a beautiful machine

“I can only describe this level of internal resistance as: intense. I really can’t put too fine of a point on it but it’s been the source of a lot of hesitation, possibly even anxiety. It’s hard for me to reconcile it even now but I’m genuinely happy to be making progress on this front.”

You might think for that an self-described environmentally-minded vegan runner on a spiritual journey who prioritizes his relationship with nature wouldn’t have much use for a 60-year-old automobile, but you’d be wrong in your assumption.

Though there’s a good portion of the ‘car guy’ population that takes great pride in the burning of hydrocarbons in exchange for the adrenaline rush of driving fast in a vintage piece of steel, I would describe my relationship with my 1962 Ford Fairlane as much different than the simple exchange of bruised knuckles and gasoline for noise and speed.

For over a decade, I’ve been holding onto this car – sometimes inexplicably – through numerous living situations. It’s survived ample punishment as my only vehicle for a while, stuck with me through my divorce, and has been my primary project focus at times, and my last priority at other times. Aside from all that, during it’s 60 years on this planet, it’s been the most fuel efficient car I’ve ever owned and it’s presence on the road has kept a few cars out of the landfill. Beyond that it’s a piece of history, not only automotive history but personal history as well. Even my kid’s earliest memories are set in the back seat of this car.

I don’t know that I have any real wisdom to dispense today. Just a little tribute to a source of both comfort and frustration.

I’m rekindling an old friendship with this car that exercises my brain and my patience. You might be rolling your eyes right now, and you’re likely justified in doing so, but I have a spiritual connection to this antiquated vehicle. I’ve learned and grown with this car, and I believe I am truly a better person for having it, and for keeping it as long as I have. It’s taught me to trust my process and have confidence in my abilities, and that it’s never too late. In truth, I spent long enough not putting any effort into this car that I began to question the skills that I have developed along the way – and I’m happy to say that time is slowly passing. I can only describe this level of internal resistance as: intense. I really can’t put too fine of a point on it but it’s been the source of a lot of hesitation, possibly even anxiety. It’s hard for me to reconcile it even now but I’m genuinely happy to be making progress on this front.

I’ve designed a part from scratch that I’m having a dear friend fabricate for me. I’ve tested my design obsessively and I’ve finally just put it in the mail, sent to his address.

Now, it’s out of my hands.

Training this week has been great. The early mornings definitely differ from the hot afternoons we tend to get this time of year – the autumn set in overnight this past Monday, but I push onward. I’m seizing every moment I can outdoors right now as I know that by the time the end of October rolls around, I’ll be forced back indoors – but this moment, right now – this is where I live. I’ll have to deal with the end of October at the end of October, and I know what that’ll look like at the time.

Yesterday… Friday… I ran to work. This was my method of commuting yesterday and I did the prep work necessary. On Thursday, I brought everything I needed including my food for the day, and stowed them away for the next day. My commute is 14.5 km, or 9 miles and somehow this is as big of an accomplishment as the Edmonton half-marathon, purely due to the extra food prep and logistics of getting everything I needed for the work day delivered a day earlier. If I’m honest, I was a little under-fueled for the first half, but I inhaled a banana around the half-way point and picked up my feet on the back half.

This afternoon, I’m performing a solo set of music along-side my friend Sean Herbert, at The Black Dog Freehouse in Edmonton. There’s no cover charge – please stop by (if you’re of legal drinking age in Alberta).

life is training, but is training life?

“I like to have a plan, because plans can change, though most of the time they don’t need to. I’ve found that often times a fluid plan can result in getting more done that I’d anticipated, but it’s when I try to ‘wing it’ that disasters can really happen.”

A sordid question to be sure.

As a food addict, I’ve learned that in order to see success with my nutrition, I need to build structure around my eating habits. “Cold turkey” isn’t really an option; not only because turkey’s not on the menu (note: I apologize for no bad vegan jokes, ever) but because obviously giving up food for good is not an option. I have trained myself to eat less, and subside on nutrient-dense foods whenever possible.

Similarly as a chronic drunk, I learned that in order to not let that vice (or any other I’ve dabbled in) rule me, I had to build structure around my alcohol consumption. The checklist is long enough now that I barely drink a drop. I have trained myself to not depend on alcohol.

As a songwriter (and writer of various other forms) I’ve learned that if I want to see success in that, I need to build structure around it, by way of ensuring that I have time allocated towards that craft. I have trained myself to be more fruitful with my time.

I’m sure you’re seeing an obvious pattern here, so I’ll cut to the chase before listing off various exercise & training regimens, saving money, and morning practices. As obvious as the pattern may be, the purpose may be not be. My time is organized into soft/suggestive blocks for efficiency and to make sure I spend time with the people who matter to me, but a highly desirable side effect came about from living this way: I’ve permitted myself to live in the moment.

Being precious about my time and efforts doesn’t serve me the way you might think it would. I’m sure you’ve met some fairly neurotic people who fight against their own schedule, trying to maintain control over everything – but the truth of the matter is that so much of life’s nuance and surprises happen between tasks. In essence I like to have a plan, because plans can change, though most of the time they don’t need to. I’ve found that often times a fluid plan can result in getting more done that I’d anticipated, but it’s when I try to ‘wing it’ that disasters can really happen.

There are things I can put off till ‘later’ and there are things I really can’t… but I find a lot more success with those ‘later’ tasks if I give them a real spot on the calendar, rather than just… ‘later.’

So yes, my life is a series of training exercises… but training exercises are not my whole life. The real essence of life happens in-between.

Training this week has been good. I love a good, long, brutal running session at this stage of my life and I’m happy to be able to handle them – though for the next couple months they’ll primarily be happening on the weekends when I can really get lost in the action. Most of my endurance workouts have been on my bike as I commute to & from work, which adds up to 2 x 45min. sessions each day I ride, and I’m riding 4 days a week right now.

I have been looking forward to the triumphant return to school that the myriad of children who’ve taken over my beloved swimming pool are now facing. For now, the weight room will intercede, though… and realistically I shouldn’t be hopping in the water with a relatively fresh tattoo regardless. I’ll give it a couple more weeks.

enough protein

“A couple weeks back I recently posted a blog about protein sources in relation to joint inflammation and capped it off with a statement about getting enough protein, and what that means…”

A couple weeks back I recently posted a blog about protein sources in relation to joint inflammation and capped it off with a statement about getting enough protein, and what that means. What you don’t know about me is that I’m good (enough) with math, especially if that math is going to make my workouts more effective and my life more comfortable. Consider this an entry-level guide, and feel free to reach out through the website for clarification, questions, or anything I’ve missed. Hey! you can straight up correct me if you like…

What protein does: The body uses it to repair muscle and bone, and to make enzymes & hormones. Important stuff.

The Bare Minimum:
Let’s start here. A sedentary person (no discernable physical activity) is still going to need the minimal healthy amount of protein, and it’s not an impossible target. As a general rule, 0.35g for every pound your body weighs.
(body weight) x 0.35g = protein intake

Body Builders & Power Lifters:
These folks reside on the other end of the spectrum from sedentary people. Quite often you’ll see recommendations for 1.0g per pound of bodyweight in your google searches – this advice is often specific to people looking to build a lot of muscle.
(body weight) x 1.0g = protein intake

The Rest Of Us:
Then there’s; what I assume, is you & me. Personally, I shoot for 0.55g per pound of body weight, which puts me just under 100g of protein per day. The reason you might think that is a low number is because I have a total calorie threshold, and because I need to prioritize simple carbohydrates because carbohydrates are the body’s preferred fuel source and I burn a lot of fuel on long runs.
(body weight) x 0.65g = protein intake
You might be aiming to build muscle, but not bodybuilder muscle. Try 0.75b/lb or 0.70b/lb. Your body is going to take a bit of time to adjust to increases, so a gradual build is ideal.

*** Note that increases in protein; even incremental small ones, can cause gas. There’s an adjustment period and no, you won’t always smell like that.

Calorie Deficit:
That calorie threshold I just mentioned is a slight deficit, because I am aiming to burn a bit more belly fat as I progress, here. Calories (kCal) are a unit of measurement for energy in food. My body requires a certain amount of calories in order to function the way I expect it to, and I intentionally eat a little bit less than that so that I can use up some of the stored energy I’ve got – fat cells are that storage.

If you’re new to this idea, there’s a method of determining what a suitable deficit is in order to burn fat. I’ve found the Macro Calculator at HealthyEater.com very helpful over the past few years – I recommend reading the calculation breakdown at the bottom of the page. I also recommend cronometer.com as they’ve developed a great database and user friendly app that takes a lot of the guess work out – it works both on a smart phone and a traditional computer. The free version does plenty!

Solving the puzzle:
There’s a couple important pieces of info to remember here.
#1: The only way to be sure of what you’re eating is to measure it. People will tell you that you’re nuts (trust me) but if you’re going to track macronutrients, and say that you ate 50g of walnuts or half cup of blueberries, you’re going to need to make sure that’s true. Get a kitchen scale and some measuring cups, and don’t worry about the people who question it. ‘Plateauing’ is when you stop seeing results, but 9 times out of 10, it’s happening because of food that’s being eaten without being accounted for.
#2: If you’re trying to burn fat and keep the muscle you currently have, you’re going to need to so some thorough (but not super-intense) resistance training (weight lifting). You need to tell you muscles “I still need you” because when your body starts utilizing the reserves, it’s going to burn anything not being used – including muscle.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be sure to touch on fats & carbohydrates as well as some essential vitamins and minerals. Don’t worry though, there’s still bound to be some of the psychological self-reflection you’ve come to know & love as we work through!

Training this week has been intense. We’re now 3 weeks out from race day, and at the height of our training program here in the next week or so. It’s at this point that I start wanting to build the program that will see us through to the fall. My low & slow runs are essentially twice a week now, on Sunday & Thursday… which means Thursday morning I’ll be jogging all the way to work and expecting to be able to navigate the work day after that. Wish me luck!

A while back I posted about post-event fatigue and although I do aim to take a couple rest days after the Edmonton half-marathon, I don’t aim to stay in the ‘funk’ that often sets in after that. That means having a plan and a goal, so I’m sure I’ll be posting about that as it comes together.

We have a long term goal that will take our focus – it’s happening 12 months from now though, so we’re going to need a few things to carry us through and hold our pattern of progression through till then, because although I haven’t posted what that long term goal is, I assure you it’s a lofty one. What I will say is that we’re building a team, and trying to hand-pick those folks based on a few common traits.

you’re crazy

“As much as I try to stay stoic and live my life for me, according to my own code of ethics and moral compass, there are people around who still seem to concern themselves with what I’m doing and how I’m doing it…”

Not to put too fine of a point on it, but every good decision I’ve ever made in my life has been the subject of some scrutiny, whereas the more questionable decisions I’ve made have never been brought up… Weird, right?

My first, second, and third juice fasts back in 2014: You’re crazy
Weighing and measuring everything I eat: You’re crazy
My obese self doing a couch-to-5k program: You’re crazy
Losing 166 lbs: You’re crazy
Going vegan: You’re crazy
Training for a triathlon: You’re crazy
Training for half marathon: You’re crazy
Taking my writing and art more seriously into my 40s: You’re crazy

As much as I try to stay stoic and live my life for me, according to my own code of ethics and moral compass, there are people around who still seem to concern themselves with what I’m doing and how I’m doing it – but in truth I’m learning that if those people on the periphery think I’m crazy, then one of two things is true:
1) I actually am crazy
2) The proclamation that I’m crazy should be taken as affirmation.
… perhaps both.

I know I shouldn’t let these things bother me, but I also know that’s not always as easy to do as it is to say. Sometimes the critics sneak one past the goalie, and I have to acknowledge it and move past it. Ignoring it just means I’ll have to face it later, but I’d rather address it and properly dismiss that kind of criticism.

Now, I don’t mean to self-aggrandize, and I am not aiming to be melodramatic, either. That list of crazy stuff I’ve done is (a) not complete, and (b) not a list of things that happened overnight. It took years for me to get where I am and it’s going to take the rest of my life for me to get where I am going – but we need to live here & now, in this moment. That means I need to do what’s best for me today, and if taking action like that is so uncommon that it needs to be labelled ‘crazy…‘

… then I’ll take crazy any day of the week.

On a deeper level, I believe we label what we can’t understand, and that those labels become limitations. Using the aforementioned scenario as an example, some people have labeled my lifestyle as ‘crazy’ and thus have provided themselves with an excuse to never try it. They don’t have to understand it because they have filed it away under ‘do not attempt.’ I do a pretty good job of not letting things like this eat away at me, because I truly love where I’m at, and if someone chooses to take issue with what I’m doing, it’s their issue to resolve. Suppressing myself is disrespectful because we honor each other by offering the best of ourselves.

Chances are pretty good that if you’ve stumbled across this blog and this resonates with you, then you’re going through some changes and adaptations as well – so I’ll take opportunity to say that so long as you’re making yourself better and you’re not hurting anyone: you’re not crazy. You’re awesome.

Training this week has been really great. We’re a month out from race day and I’m feeling really strong and really prosperous. Prosperity has been a big word in our house as of late, so I’m not taking that one lightly.

Training in the river valley trails is pure magic. The hills and terrain have been their own challenge, and I believe it’s preparing me for this largely flat-land, paved race and giving me the edge and the confidence I need to make a solid go of it. I’m excited to rise to this challenge and I’m excited that there will still be a few months of solid outdoor running weather after this challenge is met. I’m making plans to stay in a state of progress beyond this half-marathon.

My band Confusionaires plays at the Taste Of Edmonton festival on Monday night. If you’re in the Edmonton area, aim to be there by 8:30pm. It’s free to attend.

inflammation and running

“Certainly fueling the body to recover more efficiently should also be part of ‘staying out of our own way’ and fortunately enough there are a great number of fruits and vegetables that are synonymous with recovery.”

I’m a runner; and if you knew me 5 years ago when I could barely run to the end of the block without hacking and wheezing, then you understand why to this day it’s a bit shocking to hear my own voice refer to me as such.

The benefits running has brought into my life are numerous, and in conversation, I’ve observed a great number of people have talked about the toll running takes on their knees and ankles. This (and I’ll preface this by stating that I am well aware of the role my perception plays in this statement, AND I know that ever situation is neutral until it’s viewed through the lens of personal opinion), is heartbreaking.

Not to discount the notion that; yes, running is classified as a ‘high impact‘ activity. I’ve been an obese runner in my brief history in the sport, and I am well aware of the perils of repetitive motion injuries – but what if the repetitive motion that was really inhibiting someone’s ability to run or take part in games that involve running had more to do with recovery than it did with motion. We all know that rest is an important part of fitness, and that the body’s ability to recover involves ‘staying out of our own way’ to a certain degree.

What about nutrition, though?

Certainly fueling the body to recover more efficiently should also be part of ‘staying out of our own way’ and fortunately enough there are a great number of fruits and vegetables that are synonymous with recovery. Vitamin D, C, B12, B6 A, E, Magnesium, Zinc, Potassium (to name a few) are all readily available in a number of plant foods, along with the required fiber and carbohydrates that are the body’s preferred fuel source – but what if would happen if someone was overdoing it on protein?

Save for some of the side effects that any heavy lifter can tell you about, namely repugnant flatulence, I’ll try to get a little more specific – so please forgive the science talk as I try to break this down into everyday English, but: protein the the umbrella term we’ve given to the 9 essential amino acids that the human body doesn’t produce (there are another 11 that we do produce, and thus are ‘non-essential’). Now, amino acids are ACIDS, and acid is synonymous with inflammation, and that is true of plant-based sources, as well. The fundamental differences include the presence of fiber in plant-based protein sources allows for better digestion and utilization, and plant sources are lower in branch-chain amino acids which are harder to break down. Animal protein sources are also further up the food chain, meaning that consuming them means consuming the often questionable means by which the animals were raised (i.e. hormones, antibiotics, et al.)

Digestive function is something I know a little less about, but it’s true – a sudden increase in protein makes for a sudden increase in gas, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s a plant or animal source.

Now, I’m not here to make you go vegan, as much as I’d love to see that happen. The merits of this are felt in people who subscribe to a number of diets that are more plant-centric than meat-centric including the Mediterranean diet, vegetarian diet, pescatarian diet, and other ways of eating that make plant-based sources the main event. If this has piqued your curiosity, but has not satisfied it, I’ve included a very informative and scientifically backed video:

‘Enough protein’ is an ongoing conversation between vegans and non-vegans that I don’t feel compelled to get into since this blog post is already long enough by my standards, but I’m sure I can touch on that in the future. Sufficed to say that “getting enough protein” is a priority, to be certain… but what is “enough protein” exactly? Maybe I’ll dig in on that in an upcoming post.

Training this week has seen it’s upticks in challenge, physically. The last few Thursdays, specifically, have incorporated more speed in the focus, which is a departure from the loads of ZONE 2 training I’ve been doing, and continue to do. I feel truly blessed to be able to participate in this sport and in my environment though. This is a true measure of prosperity and I aim to take in every ounce of it that I can in the moment – in real time.

Beyond that is some scheduling conflict and recovery time that needed to be addressed, so I’ve shuffled the training days a little bit. We’re spreading the long runs further apart and moving the shorter & faster runs as well, partly in an effort to keep things flowing optimally, and since my girlfriend does most of the running with me AND works evenings, we’re keeping that in mind.

Race day is getting closer and I am getting excited for my first real solo athlete event ever.

half a second

“On an evolutionary level, humans are very good at recounting danger and trauma, as it’s advantageous for animals like us to be able to identify patterns that represent harm. We focus our attention on terrible events like car crashes roughly 6x longer than we do on works of beauty. We’re wired for disappointment. This is why it’s important for me (and hopefully you) to go out of my way to acknowledge the good in my life…”

When you look yourself in the eye, gazing at your own face in the mirror, and then you say something to yourself, it takes about half a second before you feel those words in your chest. I haven’t pulled out the ol’ stop watch yet, but… it’s quick.

I have a number of practices that I do my very best to maintain, and one of them is building myself up with positive affirmation mantras. Not hopes & dreams so much as goals, and reminders of positive things that are happening all the time.

On an evolutionary level, humans are very good at recounting danger and trauma, as it’s advantageous for animals like us to be able to identify patterns that represent harm. We focus our attention on terrible events like car crashes roughly 6x longer than we do on works of beauty. We’re wired for disappointment. This is why it’s important for me (and hopefully you) to go out of my way to acknowledge the good in my life as a way of balancing trauma, danger, and the vast number of available depressants available to me on any given day. That way, even if my day goes all to Hell; and it can, I know that this day and every day started off from a place of love and embrace, and that tomorrow will, too.

This is the premise of slowing your mind in meditation. You’re capable to blasting through 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day (of 2500-3300 per hour) and if we don’t check our baggage every so often, we can really put ourselves through the ringer undeservedly.

The majority of our problems are temporary, but they feel eternal because of our desire to fixate on them. Financial troubles are temporary, illness is temporary, your boss’ bad day is temporary, winter is temporary – but the good times always fly by, don’t they?

That’s a state of mind, and we have the power to change our minds.

Look yourself in the eye some morning and say “I love you.”
It’s a real trip.

Training this week has been an adjustment in a couple different ways, and not in the way you might think.
First off: My running distances at the beginning of this new program are decidedly short compared to distances I like to run. Not to worry though, there’s a method to this madness, as the runs are also substantially more frequent than they were for the triathlon training.
Secondly: We’re officially trail running whenever possible, which is an adjustment due in part to elevation changes, and also because of uneven ground – so we’re working stabilizer muscles that have had a pretty easy ride until now.
Third: I commuted to my day job via bicycle twice this week, which is a habit I aim to maintain. Both days were cross training days, and 45 minutes of cycling each way replaced the prescribed ‘brick’ workouts, but it effectively increased the exercise effort on both days. Traversing the city under your own power is a liberating and addictive thing. (click here for training program)

With the new program; we’re building a new structure and we’re starting in the basement, in that these more frequent and runs will get us used to running on fatigued legs. That might sound a little bonkers, but a half-marathon is pretty far and we will have some tired legs toward the end when it really counts. In the meantime, I’m not too worried about pushing beyond the run distances in the program – at least on my days off when I can really go out and get lost.

And… by mid-June the long runs will be what I’m used to. Then it’ll get nutty in a hurry!