Not to put too fine of a point on it, but every good decision I’ve ever made in my life has been the subject of some scrutiny, whereas the more questionable decisions I’ve made have never been brought up… Weird, right?
My first, second, and third juice fasts back in 2014: You’re crazy
Weighing and measuring everything I eat: You’re crazy
My obese self doing a couch-to-5k program: You’re crazy
Losing 166 lbs: You’re crazy
Going vegan: You’re crazy
Training for a triathlon: You’re crazy
Training for half marathon: You’re crazy
Taking my writing and art more seriously into my 40s: You’re crazy
As much as I try to stay stoic and live my life for me, according to my own code of ethics and moral compass, there are people around who still seem to concern themselves with what I’m doing and how I’m doing it – but in truth I’m learning that if those people on the periphery think I’m crazy, then one of two things is true:
1) I actually am crazy
2) The proclamation that I’m crazy should be taken as affirmation.
… perhaps both.
I know I shouldn’t let these things bother me, but I also know that’s not always as easy to do as it is to say. Sometimes the critics sneak one past the goalie, and I have to acknowledge it and move past it. Ignoring it just means I’ll have to face it later, but I’d rather address it and properly dismiss that kind of criticism.
Now, I don’t mean to self-aggrandize, and I am not aiming to be melodramatic, either. That list of crazy stuff I’ve done is (a) not complete, and (b) not a list of things that happened overnight. It took years for me to get where I am and it’s going to take the rest of my life for me to get where I am going – but we need to live here & now, in this moment. That means I need to do what’s best for me today, and if taking action like that is so uncommon that it needs to be labelled ‘crazy…‘
… then I’ll take crazy any day of the week.
On a deeper level, I believe we label what we can’t understand, and that those labels become limitations. Using the aforementioned scenario as an example, some people have labeled my lifestyle as ‘crazy’ and thus have provided themselves with an excuse to never try it. They don’t have to understand it because they have filed it away under ‘do not attempt.’ I do a pretty good job of not letting things like this eat away at me, because I truly love where I’m at, and if someone chooses to take issue with what I’m doing, it’s their issue to resolve. Suppressing myself is disrespectful because we honor each other by offering the best of ourselves.
Chances are pretty good that if you’ve stumbled across this blog and this resonates with you, then you’re going through some changes and adaptations as well – so I’ll take opportunity to say that so long as you’re making yourself better and you’re not hurting anyone: you’re not crazy. You’re awesome.
Training this week has been really great. We’re a month out from race day and I’m feeling really strong and really prosperous. Prosperity has been a big word in our house as of late, so I’m not taking that one lightly.
Training in the river valley trails is pure magic. The hills and terrain have been their own challenge, and I believe it’s preparing me for this largely flat-land, paved race and giving me the edge and the confidence I need to make a solid go of it. I’m excited to rise to this challenge and I’m excited that there will still be a few months of solid outdoor running weather after this challenge is met. I’m making plans to stay in a state of progress beyond this half-marathon.
My band Confusionaires plays at the Taste Of Edmonton festival on Monday night. If you’re in the Edmonton area, aim to be there by 8:30pm. It’s free to attend.
The Conscious Pilgrim 