I’ve been actively dealing with and reflecting upon a situation in my daily life. I’ve got a few people in my life who’ve been there for a good long while and as I progress in my fitness, spirituality, and seek purpose in my life there are some who are incredibly encouraging and supportive – and some, who are not.
The ones who are not are making some assumptions about the changes I’ve gone through and goals I’ve accomplished and although they think they know me, what they really know is an old, sick, outdated version of me. There’s likely an assumption about me battling a mid-life crisis or just genuinely losing my mind, but in the end I’m a more focused, purpose-driven, happy, and healthy person.
The aforementioned old, sick version of me would react much more explosively than I do, but the person I’ve become is confused by these encounters. Not only for the fact that there’s an assumption that I’ll emit some volatile reaction at the first sight of sour news, but that I’m having their feelings of confusion projected onto me – like I’m the one confused. I’ve never been so clear in my life.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
If my writing seems diplomatic, it is that way by design. I’m not interested in exploiting anyone’s ignorance for my own personal ego boost, and I’m not interested in arguing. For that matter – I’m not interested in explaining myself at all. I really don’t owe anyone an explanation for anything and the last thing I would want is for anyone to feel the need to compare their situation to mine.
That said… just ask and I’ll tell you.
The only way I can describe it is to say I’m a different person. So different that I feel compelled to apologize to the people who knew me back then, for the set-in-my-ways, often belligerent and usually selfish demeanor. I have some things in common with that version of me, but every time I try something and win, I’m winning over that older version of me who never wanted to try in the first place. I’ve laid that old version of myself in his grave many times, and if I felt like I had something to prove (which I really don’t anymore) I’d be trying to prove that I’ve changed.
They say a person never steps in the same river twice.
Not the same river.
Not the same person.
For the time being, I’ll just be over here, keeping my head down and doing my thing – in the moment.
Training this week has seen it’s increases – particularly on Tuesday and Saturday. Here’s how it went:
Monday: Swam 750m. The pool was busy but we held fast to our obligation and that hot tub sit was glorious.
Tuesday: I thought I had a 45 minute bike ride, but the schedule told me it was a 60 minute ride. I overcame, and truthfully could have ridden longer (which I’ll eventually have to). I also did some weights targeting my biceps & chest.
Wednesday: I rested. My Tuesday rehearsals keep me out later than I typically would, so waking up a little later suits me well on this day.
Thursday: 30 minute run followed by 10 minutes on the stair climber. This workout is shorter because of my cramped schedule on Thursday mornings.
Friday: 45 minutes on the bike followed by a back & triceps workout. I found myself a little rushed to get everything done on this particular day, so I may have to shuffle a day or two around.
Saturday: This brick workout is 60 minutes on the bike and 15 minutes running.
I’m keeping my pedaling between 135 and 150 watts pretty consistently, with rpms around 60-65. I don’t actually know what my pulse is at this rate by I’m fairly sure it’s around 130 bpm… roughly double what the rpm’s are, as I hold a pretty good rhythm.
This coming week will be roughly the same, likely with a longer swim, but the following week things jump another 15 minutes on Tuesdays & Saturdays (which are days I don’t work, so they’re ideal for increased efforts).
Tonight, I’ll be playing at Mikey’s on 12th w/ my band Confusionaires, so all y’all in the Calgary area should consider dropping in and stompin’ a couple fresh dents in the dancefloor.
The Conscious Pilgrim 