your own advice

“To live a full life is to be immersed in these joy-bringing and purpose-driven activities without the distractions I regularly supply myself with. I’m a creator and I need to be immersed in creativity in order to really be fruitful.”

I think a lot about a lot.

I genuinely put a good effort into these weekly posts and I’m pretty proud of the consistency that’s been maintained here. I give a lot of guidance by way of personal revelation but I recently blew my own mind as I was once again obsessing about weight-loss, calories, and macronutrients when Lu; my favorite person to receive earth-shaking revelations from, fed me some of my own rhetoric.

Her exact words don’t come to mind as I craft this, but suffice it to say that it’s word-for-word written in the back pages of this blog. It pertains to my fixation on living in the moment, thereby being happy where I am (as opposed to living in the past, or thinking too far into the future).

I spend a lot of time thinking about fitness. Saying that I spend more time thinking about working out than I do actually working out is an easy statement to make. The same can be said about my diet – I think about food for WAY more time than I do actually eating; and although these are great and important things, the truth of the matter is that these are distractions.

I plan my meals. I plan my workouts. There’s really nothing to think about – but that doesn’t seem to stop me from thinking about them. Really, when I’m doing anything, I should be focused on what’s happening in that moment. I need to be more present with the people around me, and with the other things that enrich my life, such as writing and performing music… working on my car… walking my dog…

These are the things that make me rich. I live a lifestyle that sounds like a dream to most people but it is that way on purpose. I live like a successful person, so I am one. That might sound like it’s too simple to be true but it’s really is that easy.

To live a full life is to be immersed in these joy-bringing and purpose-driven activities without the distractions I regularly supply myself with. I’m a creator and I need to be immersed in creativity in order to really be fruitful.

I believe they call this type of action “focus


All that said… the start to he week was challenging. The drop in temperatures have made everything – particularly transportation, take longer than expected. I’m also contending with a different work schedule that involves longer days on account of the amount of traveling I’m anticipating doing this year for music. I also had a banger of a show on the weekend that took some time to recover and reflect.

I’ll preface this by saying I don’t intend to come across as complaining. Really I’m attempting to just be real about things.

All that to say – I didn’t swim on Monday as planned, and Tuesday‘s 75-minute bike ride and chest/biceps workout was pretty taxing as well.
Wednesday remains a rest day and I was thankful for it, meaning that Thursday‘s 30-minute run & 10-minute stair climb were especially therapeutic. Now… Friday‘s session had to change. 45 minutes on the bike and a back/triceps workout are too much for my morning now that my work schedule has changed. This week I’ve resolved to do my back/triceps workout first, and then I’d intended to round out my gym time with the rowing machine, which is an endurance machine I enjoy but have not spent much time with lately. I spent zero minutes on the rowing machine, but I have a plan to rectify this for next week.
Saturday is a bike/run combo that I may or may not being doing at the precise moment this gets posted (technology is wild). This week it’s 45 minutes on the bike and a 30 minute run.

My day job is funny. My schedule is whatever I want it to be (within reason). I need to maintain an average number of hours logged to compensate for time taken to play music, which is not because I need the money but because my job requires a certain amount of attention in order to be done properly. Since I can’t handle staying later than my current 6pm end time, I go in an hour early every day I’m scheduled… which cuts into gym time. I’m unsure of how I’ll be able to maintain this over the year but I have to try.

I do need this job.

So this is my solution for now, and should get me through the winter. Springtime will bring it’s own training challenges, I’m sure – but at least I shouldn’t have to contend with the weather in such an aggressive manor.

So if my biggest issue is that I don’t have enough spare time to physically devastate myself a couple o’ days per week… well, I’m doing ok.

the finest print

“… that small decluttering of our periphery has allowed for a more concentrated focus on the tasks at hand – which are very exciting.”

Alignment. Personal alignment of mind body and spirit – that’s the daily goal and the eternal pursuit.

I’ve been finding that; although I feel completely aligned in the broad sense of the term, there are always some days that are just better than others – and the less good days need to be given the respect they deserve. Without those (relatively speaking) down days, we wouldn’t knw that the good days are.

Lately I’ve been feeling really good – like it’s all laid out in front of me. It’s as though my list of priorities are all getting the amount of time and attention they need right now and it’s inspiring all on it’s own. My girlfriend and I have been focused; somewhat peripherally, on a project that we’ve elected to put on the back burner for the time being. The reason for that is that we’ve both come to our own similar, yet separate, conclusions that this particular project hasn’t been serving us the way it should if it’s to become a priority.

Our two independent, yet same realizations have allowed us to realize that we were becoming a bit distracted with the project – and that distraction was only taking a small measure of time and energy away from our main priority right now – which is my band, Confusionaires. It wasn’t a massive distraction, but it was a distraction nonetheless – and that really only means it’s a distraction now.

A lot of ideas don’t take flight because of poor timing, and I can chock this idea up to that pretty easily. Frankly, the idea of following through on that idea later, rather than sooner, is just exciting.

In the meantime, that small decluttering of our periphery has allowed for a more concentrated focus on the tasks at hand – which are very exciting. I’ve got a new record coming out in 2023 – it’s a record that the band is really excited about, and I truly believe it’s a high water mark for all of us. It’s also going to have the best launch campaign budget of any album I’ve been a part of.

It’s a lesson; among many, about living in the moment and attracting more of what you are, rather than what you want.

This post is entitled ‘the finest print’ partly in reference to a Tom Waits quote I’ve always appreciated: “The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away” which is among other things, a statement about keeping your wits about you. When your body, mind & spirit, are in alignment you’re aware of the small print without incident, and the broad scope view of everything is just as detailed as the microscope view.

If I have any words of encouragement on this subject, it’s to trust yourself and trust your process.


Training this week has been good, but taxing. My increased efforts are certainly being felt, and my diligence in fueling myself needs to be executed with precision. This became painfully obvious to me on Wednesday.

Typically, on the days I’m at work, following my program is simple. I can only eat the food I brought and I eat it at prescribed times through the day. But on Wednesday when I was summoned to pick up my sick kid from school mid-day, I forgot to eat mid-day. All of a sudden it was 6:30 and I was in a poor state from not eating, but I couldn’t really even figure out why. I ate a meal and had a very difficult time stopping eating after that – the old food addict tendencies had kicked back in with force and I’m fortunate that there isn’t much junk food in my house.

But I have to move forward.

Monday‘s swim was great – a full kilometer in roughly 45 minutes, which is a time I can be happy with after years of fear of the deep end of the pool.
Tuesday I pedaled for 60 minutes and worked my chest and biceps hard.
Wednesday was a rest day, but Thursday became a rest day inadvertently as well. My dog got me up at 2:30 to go out and I just couldn’t get back to sleep, so when my alarm went off at 4:30am I got out of bed and tried to make a go of my usual morning, but it just couldn’t happen. I have to be ok with the fact that I went back to bed.
Friday was 45 minutes on the bike and a back & triceps workout, and Saturday is set to be a 60 minute bike ride and a 15 minute run. This week I flipped those two in the interest of saving time… I’m not sure it worked though.

All things considered, I feel like I’ve moved past the Wednesday eating hiccup and the missed training session on Thursday pretty well. I have to strive to not have these things happen, but I also have to know I can get past them, and the sooner I get past those bumps in the road, the more I can live in this moment – and this moment is pretty great.

adverse conditions

“The aforementioned old, sick version of me would react much more explosively than I do, but the person I’ve become is confused by these encounters. Not only for the fact that there’s an assumption that I’ll emit some volatile reaction at the first sight of sour news, but that I’m having their feelings of confusion projected onto me – like I’m the one confused.”

I’ve been actively dealing with and reflecting upon a situation in my daily life. I’ve got a few people in my life who’ve been there for a good long while and as I progress in my fitness, spirituality, and seek purpose in my life there are some who are incredibly encouraging and supportive – and some, who are not.

The ones who are not are making some assumptions about the changes I’ve gone through and goals I’ve accomplished and although they think they know me, what they really know is an old, sick, outdated version of me. There’s likely an assumption about me battling a mid-life crisis or just genuinely losing my mind, but in the end I’m a more focused, purpose-driven, happy, and healthy person.

The aforementioned old, sick version of me would react much more explosively than I do, but the person I’ve become is confused by these encounters. Not only for the fact that there’s an assumption that I’ll emit some volatile reaction at the first sight of sour news, but that I’m having their feelings of confusion projected onto me – like I’m the one confused. I’ve never been so clear in my life.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

If my writing seems diplomatic, it is that way by design. I’m not interested in exploiting anyone’s ignorance for my own personal ego boost, and I’m not interested in arguing. For that matter – I’m not interested in explaining myself at all. I really don’t owe anyone an explanation for anything and the last thing I would want is for anyone to feel the need to compare their situation to mine.

That said… just ask and I’ll tell you.

The only way I can describe it is to say I’m a different person. So different that I feel compelled to apologize to the people who knew me back then, for the set-in-my-ways, often belligerent and usually selfish demeanor. I have some things in common with that version of me, but every time I try something and win, I’m winning over that older version of me who never wanted to try in the first place. I’ve laid that old version of myself in his grave many times, and if I felt like I had something to prove (which I really don’t anymore) I’d be trying to prove that I’ve changed.

They say a person never steps in the same river twice.
Not the same river.
Not the same person.

For the time being, I’ll just be over here, keeping my head down and doing my thing – in the moment.


Training this week has seen it’s increases – particularly on Tuesday and Saturday. Here’s how it went:

Monday: Swam 750m. The pool was busy but we held fast to our obligation and that hot tub sit was glorious.
Tuesday: I thought I had a 45 minute bike ride, but the schedule told me it was a 60 minute ride. I overcame, and truthfully could have ridden longer (which I’ll eventually have to). I also did some weights targeting my biceps & chest.
Wednesday: I rested. My Tuesday rehearsals keep me out later than I typically would, so waking up a little later suits me well on this day.
Thursday: 30 minute run followed by 10 minutes on the stair climber. This workout is shorter because of my cramped schedule on Thursday mornings.
Friday: 45 minutes on the bike followed by a back & triceps workout. I found myself a little rushed to get everything done on this particular day, so I may have to shuffle a day or two around.
Saturday: This brick workout is 60 minutes on the bike and 15 minutes running.

I’m keeping my pedaling between 135 and 150 watts pretty consistently, with rpms around 60-65. I don’t actually know what my pulse is at this rate by I’m fairly sure it’s around 130 bpm… roughly double what the rpm’s are, as I hold a pretty good rhythm.

This coming week will be roughly the same, likely with a longer swim, but the following week things jump another 15 minutes on Tuesdays & Saturdays (which are days I don’t work, so they’re ideal for increased efforts).

Tonight, I’ll be playing at Mikey’s on 12th w/ my band Confusionaires, so all y’all in the Calgary area should consider dropping in and stompin’ a couple fresh dents in the dancefloor.

One Year

“if it’s humanly possible, then it can be done by any one of us.”

1 year ago yesterday I made my first blog entry.

To quickly reflect on what’s happened since then is wild. A year ago I was barely able to swim, and I’d have run further than 10km maybe once or twice ever at that time, and had never run on a trail before…

Since that time Lu and I have trained for and performed an Olympic Length Triathlon before throwing all our efforts behind a Half-Marathon training program. I then completed the Edmonton Half Marathon – my first formal event, and we’re staring down / training for some other challenges I might have never considered possible… since then I’ve made a concerted effort to make my 14.5km commute to work under my own power by either running or biking.

One year is a funny unit of measurement, especially since it’s such a common one. We’ll often think about what we were doing one… five… 10 years ago on New Years Eve, or birthdays, and where we’ll be, but the more seemingly arbitrary dates like October 21st are interesting to me… I mean in truth, today isn’t that arbitrary. It’s my mother’s birthday… it’s the anniversary of the day I moved into my house… and I saw Stiff Little Fingers in my home town that night after moving in! They were great!

I’ve always sort of felt like the year starts in the autumn (despite not being a student for more than 2 decades) but it seems to me that the year starts when the work starts, and the fall is certainly a return to that. Fall introduces the beginning inclement weather, training programs, and a return to normalcy (whatever that means), winter follows with it’s punishing workload, wherein everything is much more difficult. The Spring eventually follows and is largely caked in mud and smells like mold, and we clean up that mess in time to enjoy the end of the cycle – and the summertime is the reward at the end of the year.

Following that narrative, we’ll be moving back indoors for some proper Zone-2 training & strength training, and the occasional swim under controlled temperature and humidity. We’ll be measuring every effort and calorie to optimize our health as we hold onto hope for an early spring and an outdoor run.

I’ve mentioned it before, but we’re building a team to accomplish a goal. we have 4 people so far, and as much as that’s not enough to compete the way I’d like to, it’s enough to compete. Compete… what is that? This is always about finishing and learning.

I’ll cap this monologue with the thought that I come back to from time to time. It’s not ideal to spend too much time reminiscing about the past. Try as we might, we cannot live there, nor can we live in the future – we have to live in the here & now. If we try to live elsewhere, we’ll miss all the good stuff. And so as I quietly blow out the solitary candle on my metaphorical cupcake and celebrate 1 year of continuous blogging – which IS an accomplishment I’m proud of – I’ll say this:

If it’s humanly possible, then it can be done you.


I’ve been gradually ramping up the indoor training this week. A couple 45 minute stationary bike sessions and a couple of resistance training sessions have been successfully executed as I refamiliarize myself with my gym. I’ve devised a training plan for the winter months that gradually increases in intensity but it’s not firm enough to post a this point – I’m not totally sure that I will post the whole thing all at once. This may be more of a week by week sort of thing.

The reason for that is that I’m not 100% set on the parameters for each day of the week, and I do need to allow for travel days with my rock & roll band, so I think I can give a more accurate account on a more micro scale.

I’ll also be able to show “what the goal was” vs. “what I accomplished” because there are days when I go above and beyond, and days that I’m short on time due to other factors in my life. These things happen and we need to be objective about them. I’m unsure if I want to post about macronutrients and calories on a weekly basis – these things do fluctuate sometimes, be it intentional or not.

the fats you need and don’t need

“Most often, you’ll want to see between 25% and 33% of your daily calories come from fats… which if we’re sticking with the average 2000 kCal’s per day is around 50g total. Suddenly, that tablespoon of peanut butter just became more decadent.”

Hey all,

Since I’ve talked protein & carbs periodically over the past while, I might as well round this out a bit.

*** Dietary fats are essential to give your body energy and to support cell function. They also help protect your organs and help keep your body warm. Fats help your body absorb some nutrients and produce important hormones, too. ***

Now, as much as fats are a fuel source, fats are not the body’s preferred fuel source. That title is reserved for carbohydrates – which can be problematic for people opting to go on a ketogenic diet for an extended period of time. Issues with not being able to stay awake, or having brain fog are of definite concern, so if you’re ‘on the keto’ and experiencing this, I’d advocate trying something else.

A common misconception is that ‘fats make you fat’ which is woefully untrue even though 1 gram of fat = 9 calories so you are bound to find that something low in fat, like pineapple, is going to be much more plentiful and functional within your (average) 2000 kCal’s per day than something with a lot of fat, such as peanut butter. By comparison, a 25g tablespoon of peanut butter will net you roughly 150 kcals, compared to 300g of pineapple which will also net you 150 kcals – which is enough to fill a soup bowl. So with a bunch of fat in your diet, you’ll find it pretty hard to stay within the average 2000 kCal’s per day.

However, super low fat intake has it’s downsides as well – including dry & flaky skin, sensitivity to sunburn, moodiness. Most often, you’ll want to see between 25% and 33% of your daily calories come from fats… which if we’re sticking with the average 2000 kCal’s per day is around 50g total. Suddenly, that tablespoon of peanut butter just became more decadent.

This brings us to the Omega 3 Fatty Acids. They are an integral part of cell membranes throughout the body and affect the function of the cell receptors in these membranes. They provide the starting point for making hormones that regulate blood clotting, contraction and relaxation of artery walls, and inflammation. Obviously, these are essential, and not all fats are created equal, that is to say, not all fats are Omega 3’s.

Fat sources for Omegas include nuts, seeds, and avocados, and as much as I wouldn’t personally advocate the consumption of fish (for both ethical reason and for the high levels of mercury and microplastics we’ve put in the ocean) or eggs (for ethics as well, and the extremely high cholesterol content has caused researchers to compare it to smoking cigarettes) you CAN get Omega-3’s this way. Of the top 12 foods to get your Omega-3’s from, the top 8 are fish sources, followed by ground flax seeds, chia seeds, walnuts, and soybeans.

I will say that between the Fats, Proteins, and Carbohydrates, you can lead a healthy life by implementing a good cross section of all the plant foods you can get. Generally… everything else falls into place.


Training this week has been bittersweet. I’m fairly sure I just had what was my last bicycle commute of the year. The +2 celcius mornings I can ultimately contend with, but with the leaves falling and turning into a slick, frosty pulp makes my personal safety a little uncertain, and banging-up my precious guitar fingers just isn’t an option for me.

Lu and I are formulating our plan to move indoors, including mapping out an ideal swimming and cross-training schedule between endurance sessions. I’ll make that all available before too long, for those of you following along at home. For the time being I’m increasing my frequency of going to the gym in the mornings – something I didn’t do for the first half of the week, but I did have some time-sensitive things to tend following the long weekend.

Over the past while, I’ve had several – a dozen or so – people reach out with stories about how they’ve felt inspired by this blog. Without patting myself on the back (since I didn’t do that – they did!) I hope they see fit to be open about their experiences and inspire people around them.

the harvest

Thanksgiving has never really meant much to me.

I’ve never been big on turkey or ham – obviously less so now that my relationship with the animal kingdom is that of a respectful spectator. Maybe I was ungrateful, or maybe we just didn’t have enough extended family around when I was a kid, but the meaning behind Thanksgiving seemed a ironic to me since we were giving thanks to the creator for the harvest.

As a kid, this just meant summer was over, and that I wasn’t allowed to have any friends over – which didn’t matter much since they weren’t allowed to go outside and do anything either.

As a parent, it means even less.

As a descendant of European colonizers, it’s lost what little meaning it ever had.

As a vegan; however, I feel overjoyed to be part of an ecosystem that is self-sustaining despite the corporate greed that’s weaved it’s way into the fabric of our lives. I’m reminded that the earth owes us nothing, and that we owe it everything. I’m also reminded that you can put seeds in the ground, put water on them, and food comes out – which is more and more remarkable with each passing year.

The creator though – regardless of how you might think of your tumultuous religious upbringing or lack there of – is interesting. If we take the various spiritual texts at face value, and understand that nature (among other things) is a force much bigger and stronger than any of us; which is something that those of us who identify as addicts should be painfully aware of, we’ll also find written that we are made in the image of the creator. This means that we; too, are creators – artists, metal workers, musicians, carpenters, dancers, writers, gardeners, storytellers, – and if there is something I am grateful for in the midst of this socially contracted long weekend, it’s that I am both capable and affirmed in my efforts of creating, and positively affecting the lives of those in my community with my contributions.

So if that’s what we’re celebrating, then happy thanksgiving.


Training this week has been magical. Still riding my bike for transportation; which admittedly has cut into my running a bunch, and cross-training – but I feel the cycling-to-work season closing in around me. Truthfully I have a hard time just “going for a bike ride” without a set destination and a specific time I aim to arrive. Perhaps I’ll be able to change that about myself at some point but it’s just how I tend to treat that activity – except when I’m on a stationary bike, obviously.

Fall is certainly upon us and it’s a special time to be in the river valley. We spend as much time there as we possibly can, especially now that we’re headed into that part of the year where we’re at a deficit for sunlight and nature. This last couple of weeks certainly feels like we’re on borrowed time.

I just returned from a music conference earlier this week, so I’ve got a head full of ideas and the future is promising. That said – Conscious Pilgrim video production has obviously taken a bit of a turn, and will continue to be that way. I intend to post to YouTube periodically. My plan was to post a summer recap (talk about the half marathon, etc) but living in an old house with old appliances and driving an old vehicle have certainly sidelined me with some much-needed repair & maintenance of the aforementioned, and without putting too fine of a point on it, I’ve been a little too busy living life to post about it.

The blog will continue. I love to write – it feels effortless to me and therefor is not a hindrance. My video skills; however, are needed to generate content for Confusionaires at this time and I am anticipating a fairly busy 2023 with that band. I have an eternal appreciation for anyone who can maintain a Youtube Channel in any meaningful way.

discomfort zone

“The purpose in my visit is growth. Not necessarily artist growth or soul nurturing connection, but straight up business. Straight up business is still personal, in that it’s connecting with real people and following up in an effort to make real things happen in the future.”

I’m doing something I’ve never done. I’m at a music conference, hobnobbing and making connections with professionals in my industry. I’m putting my best foot forward, and attempting to glitz-up; via conversation and genuine connection, my musical output. This has historically not been my strong suit, as I’m more than a little introverted – but my conference compatriot and band manager is very comfortable in these scenarios, so I’m in pretty good shape.

This is not really a setting I’ve spent any time in save for a few ‘meet-ups’ and what-have-you. It’s a departure from my usual den of rehearsal rooms, recording studios, and coffee shops – but it’s ultimately good. It’s stretching me in ways I hadn’t anticipated and I’m enjoying it a bit more than I thought I might – in retrospect, it’s taken some time to prime myself for this adventure – but again it helps that my band’s manager is situated in a hotel room not far from me, and she is 10x the social butterfly that I am. I also have the unwavering support of my girlfriend, Lu, which I can feel from over 300km away.

The purpose in my visit is growth. Not necessarily artist growth or soul nurturing connection (though I’m down for that), but straight up business. Straight up business is still personal, in that it’s connecting with real people and following up in an effort to make real things happen in the future. I’ve been told that when your body, soul, and mind are in alignment with your purpose, that the universe conspires to support you. Those aren’t my words, but I like them and I’ll use them. I’ll receive that message and I’ll share it, because my whole life has led me to this point, through all the twists & turns & bouts with alcohol and self loathing, I am planted firmly in the here & now and I have to believe and facilitate the notion that something positive and affirming is going to happen here.

So wish me luck.

As this is being posted, I’m 2/3rds of the way through it and my brain and heart and notebook are all brimming. To be in the company of so many like-minded and career-focused people is encouraging. This is one of the very select places you can be where there’s no chance of anyone telling you that you can’t do it, or that you can’t make a career out of art.

I suppose I knew from the get-go that this would be a make-work project, and that I would come away from this experience with a broadened approach to what I do, but it’s hitting me square in the face that the discipline practice that I’ve been applying to my personal life and fitness regimen is going to have to be applied to my professional life much more than it already has (and it has).

I love change. I embrace change. I am capable of change.


Training this week as been… well half of it has been in a different locale. Downtown Calgary, AB is a real scene. I like this city a lot, likely because I don’t live here but I do get to perform here with some regularity. I’ve been able to acquaint myself with the Bow River a bit, and have taken in this city’s skyline on my morning run, and the weight room in the hotel that’s hosting this conference is a nice perk – hotels I typically stay in are not outfitted with such amenities.

The conference has a run club at 9am each day, so it’s been interesting finding pace with people I don’t know, but it’s interesting sharing non-musical ground with music people. Perhaps it’ll firm up some new working relationships… perhaps I’m just running with some weirdos.

Being physically taken out of your comfort zone causes you to realize and rely on your emotional comfort zone. You can really learn a lot about yourself by changing one thing, even temporarily.