Davey

a plan

Sometimes it takes a minute to unhitch the load of things I take with me everywhere I go. The stress of my family, the stress of my job, the pressure I put on myself to write, record, and perform music, my body dysmorphia… but there are times and places when I am able to check all that junk at the door and just be present and do what I came to do.

Generally, I have a pretty clear mind as I head into most situations. I’ve gotten pretty good at worrying about work when I’m at work, and worrying about working out when I’m working out, and worrying about music when it’s time for that… but those pressures are always there, even when I’m not acknowledging them.

But I’m learning how to check that stuff at the door on occasion and it’s really enriched my life in a big way.

What I’m realizing now is that I need a place for everything (and everything in it’s place) and that primarily pertains to my calendar. 6 weekly training days are designated, 2 evenings of recording new music, travel days for work, travel days for my main band, time with my family… it’s all in there.

Sure, plans change from time to time… but it’s a lot easier to change a plan if you have a plan to change, as opposed to not having a plan and having everything fall apart on you.

All that to say… I’m living an amazing life full of love and creativity. I spend time with amazing people. I accomplish amazing things. I travel to beautiful places and entertain wonderful audiences… and everyone that needs a piece of me seems to get the appropriate amount. I’m sure some people would like a little more… but I’m certain that if they had more of me, they’d send it back.

I’ve read up on stoicism a bunch over the past few years, and I’ve in so doing, I’ve managed to put into practice the notion of not worrying about things I cannot control. For me, this is paramount to a balanced life, because there are so very many things I cannot control… including, but not limited to:
– other people’s expectations and/or opinions
– other people’s artistic output.

The Roosevelt-attributed quote ‘comparison is the thief of joy‘ rings and reverberates off the inner walls of my skull a lot lately, and it’s such an important thing for an artist to remember.

I’m truly grateful for the opportunities afforded me and I hope there are more coming, and that eventually I can provide people with opportunities as well.

not my business

It’s time for another one of these…

I’m trying to get into the habit of posting one of these every few weeks, and at the risk of appearing too lazy to make a video AND a separate blog post… well.. if that appears lazy to you, then I guess you’ll have to take a look at your expectations of other people.

I write lots… mostly songs. So, here’s a look at one of those songs that my rock & roll band ‘The Confusionaires’ plays regularly.

I like to write songs about things… and when you play in a noisy rock & roll band, sometimes the subject matter gets suppressed by the energy.

Enjoy!

milestones

I don’t know if this is all part of the human experience or if it’s some sort of songwriter / poet struggle but lately I’m pretty taken with the notion that the story we’re all telling never really ends.

That can be as depressing as you want it to be… but by my calculation, life is just as short as it is long. We’re all likely to be working day-in and day-out on something, and if we’re truly lucky then it’ll be something that matters to us on a spiritual level – but at no point can we expect anyone else to really care about it the way we care about it.

I write songs. I write songs and compose music with intensity and hunger, as if I’m going to write the most important song ever. And the truth of the matter is that I’ve written the most important song ever many times. Every song I’ve ever written is important and I’m going to be writing songs until I die.

I belabor every step of the process… from writing and composing to performing… from performing to recording… the mixing and mastering and duplication of the recording… back to performing and reinterpreting the recorded works in hopes that people will take a copy home with them… and back to writing and composing…

I’m fortunate, that in this day and age… right here in 2025, there are people who care about what I am doing artistically, but I would be remiss to assume they care more than I do. I’ve received many accolades and words of encouragement and as much as I appreciate the encouragement and am flattered by the kind words, these words do something different than you might think. Sure, my ego likes the boost – but really this encouragement sends me deeper and deeper into poetry and storytelling, because it affirms that I’m on the right path.

And this path is fraught with suffering.

This is what I’ve learned how to do, and if you’ve read this and understood it, then this is probably what you’ve learned how to do as well… suffer.

I’ve found it in my fitness journey as well. My progress on the running trail, or the mountain biking trail, or in the weight room at the gym… progress comes from a level of suffering that is just beyond where you’ve already been. I love the feeling of going to the limits of what my body can and ultimately seeing god when I get there, and knowing that the next time I see god it will be just beyond where I saw god last. Writing and composing is the same… when the work is finished, and I can step back and wonder how this piece of art came through me, because it is bigger than me.

And it is a cycle that never ends.
And I truly love it.

output

I’ve mentioned this before, and I’m bound to mention it again… but in my spare time, or rather, our spare time, we three Confusionaires are working on another record.

We live in exciting times, and in exciting times, time passes very quickly. We are already behind schedule on what my ideal timeline is… we started later than I’d wanted to, and now we’re recording songs in our ‘spare’ (ha!) time, gathering once or twice a week in our rehearsal studio to attain live-off-the-floor versions of songs we’ve been working on and playing live. This ‘spare’ time pops up once or twice a week between out of town shows, and at the end of long work days.

That said… we work pretty quickly. We can typically get a song done (recorded to completion and edited) in a couple evenings, so one song per week assuming we can get together twice that week. Birthdays, anniversaries, condo board meetings pop up every so often and gum up the works… but this is our process.

It’s difficult for me not to put a deadline on these things… I’ve issued deadlines that have been sorely missed but if I’m being realistic with myself it’s because I want it to be done.
Done.
And fantastic.
Done and fantastic takes time.

So I wrestle… belabouring lyrical choices and harmony vocal parts right up until the time they’re recorded, but also writing new songs that won’t even make it onto this album (but I have to get these things out and down on the page because they’re COMING OUT OF ME whether I like it or not, and this is a particularly fruitful season.

Yes, there are seasons to these things and I feel like it’s all hitting me at once right now, in the most amazing and glorious way. It’s truly exhausting and it’s actually caused me to almost completely forget to post to this blog – something I haven’t forgotten to do in this blog’s entire 3 years. But when it dies down, I assure you it’ll be very frustrating, and I’ll probably take to this blog to register my feelings about it throughout the world wide web. I assume some bolt of lightning will hit me and tell me what to do in that off-season but that’s ultimately a problem for future-Davey.

But for now… I make hay while the sun shines.
And despite the so-so weather forecast the Canadian prairies are getting these days… THIS sun is shining quite a bit.

momentum

I feel like it’s been a minute or two since I talked about fitness.

I still get asked; and I love it when I do, what I did to lose the weight I lost. It’s been a few years now, so it’s not news to my circle of people I talk to regularly – but in total I’ve lost 166 lbs from my heaviest to my lightest. The majority of that was in 2019 when I was losing 1-2 lbs per week for the entire year.

The short answer is diet & exercise.
But… that answer is kinda bullshit, y’know?

I mean… that’s the answer. I didn’t take any miracle drugs or participate in some ritual, and there’s no voodoo curse of which I’m aware… but if you want the real dirt on what I did to lose weight then we’re probably overdue for a couple-hour long discussion about depression, addiction, inspiration, discipline, and… momentum.

We’d also have to discuss when to stop telling the story… because I’m not at my lightest right now… Hell, I’m not even at my fittest, but I’m getting to a point where that’s true again.

As I type this, in July 2025, I am 20 lbs heavier than where I want to be, which is 30 lbs heavier than the lightest I’ve been since high school. My body weight is in decline, so I’m not worried at all about reaching my goal, but I am wondering what I’ll do when I reach it. Last time I reached it, I didn’t have a plan – what I had was a fear that I’d gain it all back, and fear is not a plan.

At that time, I decided to start eating more and lifting heavier to put on muscle. And I put on muscle – no doubt about that – but I put on fat too, because that’s how the body works… it stores food for later.

After that, my family hit some bumpy road and I found myself shifting focus away from myself. That’s what needed to happen but I really didn’t save much attention for myself and I put on more weight than I’d intended. That gets left out of my weight loss hero’s journey, because it felt like the opposite of success at the time. Then, once we were collectively out of the rough patch, it was time to get back to work on myself again. It was hard.

A year later I’m back to calling it all a success as I zero-in on a new set of goals.

I cannot be who I was in the fall of 2022.
I don’t even want to be. I mean, sure I was leaner and faster than I am now, but I didn’t know as much as I do now, and I didn’t understand what was happening even when I was in the midst of it.

I look at pictures of myself from then, and I was carved out of stone.
But what I saw in the mirror was just more fat to burn.
I know better now.
I understand what I had and I understand that although I will never be the me from 3 years ago, I know I will be better.

I’m not done yet.
Neither are you.
So stop treating yourself like you are the end result of a failed experiment.

whiskey ballad

I’m back on this trip I started a few weeks back.

In this installment of ‘this is a song i wrote’ I discuss the origins of ‘Whiskey Ballad‘ from The Confusionaires 3rd album ‘Westernization‘

It deals with the personification of my brain, my heart, and my belly and their internal argument in regards to my use of alcohol as a coping mechanism.

In the end, the body parts resolve to not put themselves in this position ever again, and take care of the body better… which; since this song is entirely self referential, includes a meditation practice, veganism, and a better relationship with the environment.

I maintain that the worst thing the human race ever did to itself was to view itself separate from nature. Maybe one day I’ll pick that notion apart, but to sum it up, if we lived in service of the planet and it’s inhabitants (which includes us) then the Earth would return the favor.

Anyway… I’m still working on getting better at this video thing.
Stay with me here, people.

Much love.

environment

I think about the environment a lot this time of year. Not just THE environment, but MY environment, and not just THIS time of year, but ALL times of year… I just think about it more affectionately this time of year because it’s not actively trying to kill me at this time.

I’ve said it in this blog before, and although I cannot credit myself with saying it first, I will repeat it: The biggest error the human race ever made was to view itself separate from nature. A grievance I can take up with the church quite easily, but not something I can fix, especially by complaining about it.

I get into Edmonton’s river valley almost every day in the warm months. There’s a path down into it less than a mile from my house, and between dog walks, recreational running, and mountain biking, I can say I am down there between 4 and 7 days per week… and even when I travel for work, most major Canadian cities have a river or two flowing through them, and I go find those, too.

In Edmonton, you don’t have to go far into the valley to feel like you’ve left the city, and if you’re down there pushing your own body’s boundaries, it’s not hard to find god – and by that I mean the infinite wisdom of the universe more so than the variety of idols adorning every temple under the sun.

I’ve dabbled with meditation; of course, but for my money, getting into nature and losing yourself is the best way. I like to get my heart rate into it’s beloved Zone 2 and see what god has for me – often by way of a message in a podcast or a new song, because my environment includes a level of privileged technology, though I wish I weren’t so married to my headphones. They have a tendency to distract me just as much as they inspire me and I’d like to be more of an antennae for creativity than a consumer of it. I suppose it can be both… and now that I think of it, it is both.

I don’t ride my bike with headphones. That’s as dangerous as it is uncomfortable. And I’ve been blessed with many songs, visions, and ideas on those rides.

I receive so much from my environment, and from the people and creatures that share it with me. It’s not enough to know that we are made up of the same cosmic stuff, but once we remove the man-made concepts of space and time, we are literally THE SAME stuff, all of history existing at one time, all creatures with no space between them.

If we looked at eachother with that in mind, I can’t help but think that none of us would find reason to kill another, be it for resources or religious differences.

This line of thinking reminds me why I am vegan.
Not that I need a reminder.

I’m not sure what this blog entry is about.
Perhaps it’s a reminder to myself what my role is here.
Maybe this entry has inspired something in its readers.

I hope I never find out.