Tag: guitar pedals

in the dark

Last week I opened up about my ADHD and ASD diagnoses… so you can go ahead and anticipate some neurodivergent talk here.

It’s a hell of a thing to get diagnoses like that as a 43 year old man.

The best way I can describe this is to say that metaphorically… I’ve been feeling around in the dark for a long time.
And sneezing… for decades.
So I’m just there… navigating through the dark, thinking I’m pretty good at it… and again: sneezing – but assuming that everyone is having the same sneezing problems as me… and nobody can see what’s really happening.
Then someone turns the light on.
And suddenly I realize that MOST of the people around me had flashlights.
And the room is FULL of cats.
And I’m sneezing… and I’m realizing that everyone could see fine except for me.
And I’m the only one allergic to cats.
And now it’s all coming together and making sense.

I’ve always been good at puzzles and games.
I’m good at most things I try to do, if I’m being honest.
But that’s partly due to (a) only trying things I know I’d be good at, and (b) not allowing myself to be bad at anything.

The kicker is that those Modus Operandi are actually defense mechanisms that are cleverly disguised as brilliance and ambition… or discipline.
Don’t get me wrong… ambition and aptitude are requirements, but I have to ask myself if any of these things are truly difficult.
Now… they are, generally VERY difficult, but I still have to ask.

I have tried things that I wasn’t good at right away. We all have. But I know what I’m capable of, because I’ve been in the driver’s seat of this body for 4 decades… so I can look at a thing I don’t know how to do and logically relate it to something else I enjoy.
Often there’s only a few degrees of separation.

For example – I have a 1962 Ford Fairlane that I work on and drive in the summer months. I have the aptitude and discipline for this. I am also a proficient guitar player who’s very picky about his electric guitar sound. So, it’s not a stretch to say that I might be good at building my own guitar distortion pedals… because I understand the construction and robust requirements of a metal box that gets stepped on for dramatic effect, and I know what sounds good. I just need to understand circuits…

… so I’m learning how t understand circuits.

Not to downplay this new hobby at all, because it’s very cool, and very fun, and very rewarding, and it is artisan work… but buying a bunch of tools and components was not a risk for me, because of course I’d be good at that.

Anyway… I clearly have more questions than answers.
I appreciate you reading this.

PS… I’m building guitars pedals now.

outlets

I’ve recently taken on a new project, and a direction of learning I’ve never spent any time with before. It’s a wild trip, if I’m being honest. I purchased an online course during boxing week and it’s likely the closest thing to a New Year’s Resolution I’ve ever done… though the timing is somewhat coincidental.

I’ve decided to dig in on Brian Wampler’s guitar pedal building course, which is a very thorough and fairly in-depth way of learning all the ins & outs (HA!) of guitar pedal building.

I’ve long been frustrated with the availability of things I need in order to accomplish what I want to accomplish as a performer. I have a number of great pieces of equipment I’ve acquired over the years but there is a piece of the guitar effects market that; I feel, anyway, is largely ignored. I can’t be certain that there’s a market for what I’m hoping to accomplish once I attain the knowledge I’m setting out to find, but it’s quite possible that there is. I’m hesitant to get into what that is in the event that this does turn into some measure of side-hustle but there are some things I know about myself that are definitely helpful here:

  • I am really good at playing guitar
  • I am really good at getting sounds I am happy with
  • I have an intense level of focus
  • I have an artistic vision

But… if all I end up doing is building things for myself then I honestly think I’ll be happy with that… but you never know how things will go until they go. Anyway, it’s very exciting and extremely nerdy and I’m happy to have this new direction of learning.

If you tuned in to this blog from some spiritually-driven snack, and feel like you’ve been denied that, don’t worry… I’m not done yet.

It might sound a little bonkers, but this is truly something that aligns with me spiritually and is truly helping me navigate the prairie winter months. When I am immersed in this, it can only happen in real time… it’s an incredible experience where I am not thinking about food, or work, or anything except for what’s in front of me. It’s an incredibly meditative (active meditation, obviously) and grounding (HA!) experience that seems to tie me to the present moment in a special way.

Sure, I have other things in my life that offer that level of detachment from the world around me, but the way my brain seems to thrive is to have a few options to alternate through – songwriting and composition, recording, performing, my vintage automotive pursuits, and now this new exercise – all provide me with a break from my distractions and put me into a moment where I can completely lose track of time and just create.

It’s thrilling.