Tag: inspiration

look at me now

Hey all,

Time for another one of these songwriting videos. This one is a fictional story about my car… but it draws from real life experience.

What I don’t mention in the video is that the impetus for writing this song came from Mike McDonald of Jr. Gone Wild fame when I did a songwriting circle with him, Kimberley MacGregor, and Sean Herbert (we actually did a few of those…) and I mentioned the 7-year cell-replacement factoid (mentioned in the video above) in relation to another story I was telling, and he encouraged me to develop that idea further.

Anyway… enjoy!

not my business

It’s time for another one of these…

I’m trying to get into the habit of posting one of these every few weeks, and at the risk of appearing too lazy to make a video AND a separate blog post… well.. if that appears lazy to you, then I guess you’ll have to take a look at your expectations of other people.

I write lots… mostly songs. So, here’s a look at one of those songs that my rock & roll band ‘The Confusionaires’ plays regularly.

I like to write songs about things… and when you play in a noisy rock & roll band, sometimes the subject matter gets suppressed by the energy.

Enjoy!

anywhere else

I got back from a trip to Vancouver recently.

It might be hard to imagine for a person who values music as highly as I do, but I’ve never just gone there for a concert before. Every trip to Vancouver I’ve ever taken since I was 16 years old; with the exception of 1 family Christmas, was to perform… and I’m certain that we were underpaid in almost every instance, but that’s beside the point.

I went to see Drive-by Truckers and Deertick. Both were astounding, but Deertick were particularly surprising. That show made me want to write songs and make rock & roll records and go on tour. I’ve seen a lot of shows… some of them are good and you’re glad you went. Some of them are life affirming and stay with you for a long time. I didn’t have a religious experience, or anything like that… but I did feel the fire in my belly – the fire that was already there – flare up a little bit.

Along with that, Lu and I ran the perimeter of Stanley Park, I bought too many records from too many cool record stores, and we put on around 27,000 steps a day seeing cool shit and eating amazing vegan food and staying in a nice hotel.

As an Albertan, I have to strongly encourage you to get out of Alberta periodically. This place is mega-hard on your soul, particularly if you’re a creative person.

I’m lucky in a lot of ways, not the least of which is that my friends and I can pile into a Ford Explorer, hitch up a trailer full of gear, and roll into towns & cities where people don’t know us personally and we can all commune in a bath of rock & roll guitars and pounding drums, and we can all come away from the experience with our cups filled up. I get to do this in places that don’t know about our day jobs… don’t know our families… they only know what we tell them, and we only know what they tell us. It’s a magical experience where we see people as people… with none of the pretense.

Traveling to Vancouver was a similar experience.
Nobody asked me what I do for a living.
Nobody knew anything about me… I was just a spiritual being having a human experience and I truly enjoyed it.

If you haven’t gotten far enough away from home to feel that for a while… then it’s time.

Today, I am loading up the aforementioned trailer with those friends and driving to Twin Butte, AB to play Soulfest. It’ll be a riot. If you’re going to be there, come say hey!

best years

I’m not sue if it’s because I think a lot, or because I’m approaching what most people consider to be mid-life (though I’m planning on living a long & healthy life, the length of which I shouldn’t be half way through yet) but I lend a bit of thought to when a person might ‘peak.’

Even as I write this, that feels like damning language, but it’s fair to say that once you reach a certain age, you won’t be able to perform to the same level as you once could. Typically this notion is cast upon athletes, which is something I can consider myself now (though not professional by any measure) but as years go by it gets cast over musicians and performers; as well, not being able to sing or perform to the level they could in their ‘prime.’

It’s most startling in athletes though. The thought that someone’s athletic potential in a given sport could come & go before the age of 25 years old (and that’s generous in some sports) is a hard thing to hear for me – someone who is a staunch late-bloomer in a number of ways. To spend the latter 3/4 of a century in the shadow of a mountain you once climbed is a dangerous existence, fraught with high-risk decisions making, if one does not re-examine their sights and focus on a new goal. There are too many cliche examples to mention.

Suffice to say, I couldn’t be happier to have become the late-bloomer I am. Being in my 40s and taking my creative career more seriously than ever has it’s daunting moments, for sure, but it beats the shit out of burning out early. A few years ago, I decided that I’m not finished doing what I do, and quite honestly I’ve been writing my best and most important lyrics ever since, and playing, performing, and composing better than ever – and that’s not even and objective statement. I am more technically proficient and intentional than ever before.

I know that’s a mouthful – but the important part was that I decided to level-up. My history is one of massive and lengthy self-doubt and fear of success before I decided to clean up my act – but as one once so poignantly stated: “If one desires to climb the Ziggurat, one must take the first step.”

So the real question isn’t about the past at all.
The real question to ask is: Are your best years behind you?

Being a first round NHL draft pick at 19 years old, or being a self-medicated & socially lubricated songwriter navigating a local music scene in a medium-sized city is completely irrelevant at the age of 40 years old, because you can’t go back and change it no matter how you feel about it.

You can’t live there.
You can’t live there any more than you can live in the future where you’re a wild & unbridled success… you can picture both the future and the past, and use them to guide your decisions today, but you have to live here in the present.

Only fear can live in the past.
Only doubt can live in the future.
But success and potential, inspiration and discipline – those live here and now.

I can say definitively… My best years are in front of me.

Check out the new podcast I was recently interviewed for! Pillars of Creation is a new podcast dedicated to creators, by creators, for creators, and is definitely worth a like & a follow & a subscribe!

inspiration and discipline

“This moves into every facet of life, including songwriting. Inspiration might get you to pick up a guitar and mess around with a chord progression or a lick, but discipline is what makes you pick up your guitar every day, and discipline is also what really has the capacity to make a song great.”

I hope I’m inspiring.

Well, I guess know I’m inspiring. I’ve been told I’m inspiring, but that’s not the point. I hope I stay inspiring. One of the great many things I’ve learned along my path is that inspiration is fickle. Inspiration is a notion that something might be a good idea and it requires absolutely no follow-through. Good ideas are good ideas whether you follow through or not.

Once upon a time, I was inspired to do something for my health. I went to the gym. It felt good, and I elected to do it again the next day. This went on for a period of time – let’s say a week, until one day I didn’t feel like it… like I deserved a break. I did deserve a break. I’d been working hard and it was time to rest. One day inevitably turned into two or maybe three – until guilt made me feel like I should get back on the horse. It; too, felt good.

After a while my feelings on the matter – the question of whether I was due for a rest, were no longer part of the equation. My rest days were planned just as much as my workout days were. I’d developed a routine and I was doing alright with it. Then I started seeing things I wanted to see. Things like larger biceps, or a lower number on the scale. This resulted in a more consistent practice. Diligent follow-through.

At some point along the way I was no longer inspired. I know I wasn’t inspired because there were days my alarm went off and I didn’t want to go to the gym – but I went anyway. That’s not inspiration, it’s discipline.

To this day I really don’t know how to answer the question “what inspires you?” because I think inspiration checked out a few miles back, and discipline took over. At this point there are so many great things that happen in my life as a result of my practice of self care that skipping a day doesn’t even occur to me – and when the unforeseeable happens, I reschedule, and I adapt… because that’s what discipline gets you: resilience.

This moves into every facet of life, including songwriting. Inspiration might get you to pick up a guitar and mess around with a chord progression or a lick, but discipline is what makes you pick up your guitar every day, and discipline is also what really has the capacity to make a song great.

Ultimately, if I had to choose between them, I’d rather be disciplined than inspired any day.

I didn’t make an entry about training last week, but it’s not for lack of follow-through. I’ve been changing my approach a little bit, and it’s all based on that notion that got me to start running in the first place…

Running is hard.

I’ve adjusted my focus away from the stationary bike and toward running. There’s still place for the bike… and for the rowing machine, stair climber, swimming… all of it, but running kills me the hardest. It’s the most calorie-burning and exhaustive activity I do, and I feel that if I want to accomplish my goals that I gotta dig in on the hard stuff.

It’s made for some ass-dragging, over-cooked days but it’s been worth the effort so far. I’ve definitely overdone it a couple times but I wear that with a bit of pride. I oughta pace myself, I know – but if I know anything, it’s that I will adjust, and fairly quickly.

Maintaining the weight lifting for a total of about 45-60 minutes, twice a week, and I hit the rowing machine, stair climber, and bike once a week each – the rest of the time I’m running. It looks like this:

Monday – long run (60 – 75 minutes)
Tuesday – stationary bike / weightlifting
Wednesday – rest
Thursday – long run (60 – 75 minutes)
Friday – row machine / weightlifting / stair climber
Saturday – bike (30 – 45 minutes) / run (30 – 45 minutes)
Sunday – rest

I’m undergoing a job-change right now, so there’s more than one kind of adjustment happening in my life, but it’s all for the best.

your own advice

“To live a full life is to be immersed in these joy-bringing and purpose-driven activities without the distractions I regularly supply myself with. I’m a creator and I need to be immersed in creativity in order to really be fruitful.”

I think a lot about a lot.

I genuinely put a good effort into these weekly posts and I’m pretty proud of the consistency that’s been maintained here. I give a lot of guidance by way of personal revelation but I recently blew my own mind as I was once again obsessing about weight-loss, calories, and macronutrients when Lu; my favorite person to receive earth-shaking revelations from, fed me some of my own rhetoric.

Her exact words don’t come to mind as I craft this, but suffice it to say that it’s word-for-word written in the back pages of this blog. It pertains to my fixation on living in the moment, thereby being happy where I am (as opposed to living in the past, or thinking too far into the future).

I spend a lot of time thinking about fitness. Saying that I spend more time thinking about working out than I do actually working out is an easy statement to make. The same can be said about my diet – I think about food for WAY more time than I do actually eating; and although these are great and important things, the truth of the matter is that these are distractions.

I plan my meals. I plan my workouts. There’s really nothing to think about – but that doesn’t seem to stop me from thinking about them. Really, when I’m doing anything, I should be focused on what’s happening in that moment. I need to be more present with the people around me, and with the other things that enrich my life, such as writing and performing music… working on my car… walking my dog…

These are the things that make me rich. I live a lifestyle that sounds like a dream to most people but it is that way on purpose. I live like a successful person, so I am one. That might sound like it’s too simple to be true but it’s really is that easy.

To live a full life is to be immersed in these joy-bringing and purpose-driven activities without the distractions I regularly supply myself with. I’m a creator and I need to be immersed in creativity in order to really be fruitful.

I believe they call this type of action “focus“

All that said… the start to he week was challenging. The drop in temperatures have made everything – particularly transportation, take longer than expected. I’m also contending with a different work schedule that involves longer days on account of the amount of traveling I’m anticipating doing this year for music. I also had a banger of a show on the weekend that took some time to recover and reflect.

I’ll preface this by saying I don’t intend to come across as complaining. Really I’m attempting to just be real about things.

All that to say – I didn’t swim on Monday as planned, and Tuesday‘s 75-minute bike ride and chest/biceps workout was pretty taxing as well.
Wednesday remains a rest day and I was thankful for it, meaning that Thursday‘s 30-minute run & 10-minute stair climb were especially therapeutic. Now… Friday‘s session had to change. 45 minutes on the bike and a back/triceps workout are too much for my morning now that my work schedule has changed. This week I’ve resolved to do my back/triceps workout first, and then I’d intended to round out my gym time with the rowing machine, which is an endurance machine I enjoy but have not spent much time with lately. I spent zero minutes on the rowing machine, but I have a plan to rectify this for next week.
Saturday is a bike/run combo that I may or may not being doing at the precise moment this gets posted (technology is wild). This week it’s 45 minutes on the bike and a 30 minute run.

My day job is funny. My schedule is whatever I want it to be (within reason). I need to maintain an average number of hours logged to compensate for time taken to play music, which is not because I need the money but because my job requires a certain amount of attention in order to be done properly. Since I can’t handle staying later than my current 6pm end time, I go in an hour early every day I’m scheduled… which cuts into gym time. I’m unsure of how I’ll be able to maintain this over the year but I have to try.

I do need this job.

So this is my solution for now, and should get me through the winter. Springtime will bring it’s own training challenges, I’m sure – but at least I shouldn’t have to contend with the weather in such an aggressive manor.

So if my biggest issue is that I don’t have enough spare time to physically devastate myself a couple o’ days per week… well, I’m doing ok.