Tag: mental toughness

pursuits

I like to do hard things. Hard things have historically included feats of endurance, like an olympic length triathlon course or a half-marathon, and while those things are obviously still hard, this has been a different kind of summer.

The fitness portion of my life, although still in existence, has felt a bit directionless lately. I’ve been struggling to allow myself to rest. Not only rest, but to enjoy things that stretch me as a person beyond normal rigors of endurance sport. My brain has been stretched and bowed by a new role at work, and by problem-solving with my hobby-car, among other self analysis and mental exercise including my propensity to snack like the binge-eating addict I am, and the culmination has truly been exhausting. Add some indecision of what physical activity to double-down on, and a later-than-it-should-be bed time resulting in an over-used snooze button… but again, I’ve been struggling to let myself off the hook as far as fitness goes.

I still track calories and macros, and I get out and run, and lift weights, and have developed a bit of an interest in Ashtanga – but not with my usual “nailed to the training program 6 days a week” fervor that I typically adopt. I’m trying to find a way to be okay with this… but there’s a part of me that feels I’m not doing enough.

I know there are seasons to life, and this season right now is the off-season for me. I’m entertaining the idea of signing up for a race in the fall, and I can’t decide if it’s pride or discipline that’s preventing me from doing any less than a half marathon. My challenge is more about whether or not I have enough training weeks between now and then, and less about willpower.

If I sign up, I’ll do it – and I will finish, pain or not.

It’s really easy to say things like “there are seasons to life” when you’re training regularly and killing it. It’s not so easy to say that when your focus is split between other passions. I know what I need, and it’s a regular (hard) training schedule that I can indenture myself to – but I also need this rest, and I need the mental challenges I’m facing.

The only thing I really know, is that I must remain present – in the moment.
That’s the true balance – being 100% present.

And if I’m being honest with myself… I am present.

And presently… it’s time to go for a run.

the outliers

“I’m not suppressing emotion when I say this, but I can successfully tune out a lot of the negative criticism. I can do this because I am resonating at a higher frequency than ever before, and I know in my heart that I am right where I am supposed to be – in the moment – in this life – in this time and place, and I learned earlier this year that “you will never find a hater that works harder than you.” “

This lifestyle is surprisingly polarizing. I’ve regularly been misunderstood by my peers and certain members of my family, so it’s not particularly alarming that I still am, to a large degree. I’ve come to accept it, and I’ve come to accept the people who misunderstand me. At this point; however, if anything is alarming it’s people’s reactions to my healthy lifestyle.

Lemme know if this sounds familiar:
– I’ve been not-invited to gatherings because of my dietary regimen.
– I’ve had my sanity questioned by my peers.
– I’ve had people refuse to try things I’ve offered them.
– I’ve had people tell me that what I’m doing goes against human biology.
– I’ve had people tell me what I am doing is not sustainable.
– I’ve been handed all kids of labels from ‘crazy’ to ‘rigid’ to ‘overdoing it’ to ‘exceptional’
– I’ve had people tell me I must be super healthy and protein deficient – almost in the same breath.

None of that bothers me anymore, but I will say that to be openly criticized for what I’m doing, but to turn the question around on the person asking it somehow makes me hypersensitive and insecure. For example, “Where do you get your protein?” is a question I can answer, but when I answer and follow up with “how much protein do YOU get?” – I’m being rude.

I’ve learned how to let all that go, and honestly the fact that I’m seeing results from what I am doing is a big help in avoiding these polarizing questions, but it doesn’t make me any less of an outlier. Vegan as I might be, I’m not super connected to a community of vegans in any tangible sense, nor am I connected to a community of athletes. I’m part of a community of musicians and performers, and I’m a bit of an outlier there, too (though there seems to be a bit of a sobriety movement going on and I’m here for it).

I’m not suppressing emotion when I say this, but I can successfully tune out a lot of the negative criticism. I can do this because I am resonating at a higher frequency than ever before, and I know in my heart that I am right where I am supposed to be – in the moment – in this life – in this time and place, and I learned earlier this year from David Goggins that “you will never find a hater that works harder than you.“

These words alone keep me blissfully uninvolved both as a defender of what I’m doing, and as a potential critic of what someone else is doing – because I very much CAN find myself looking around at the gym from time to time, or on the running trail, assessing my surroundings. That said – the people around you are not to be ignored. Seeing what someone is doing and wanting to work towards it is part of our human nature. It’s bred into us to assess our surroundings and be aware of whether or not we’re safe or in danger – just don’t put yourself in danger of sinking to a lower level of gossip and criticism.

This is an exercise in mental toughness, and like any exercise – you have to start with light weight and build up. Don’t expect sainthood from yourself on day 1, just do a little better, and then do a little better than that.