Tag: thought

father to the thought

There’s an old saying; maybe it’s a proverb, “The wish is father to the thought” that crosses my mind sometimes. Particularly around this time of year when people talk about ‘Christmas wishes’ and ‘New Years Resolutions’ – neither of which mean much to me, personally. I’ve written a few times over the years about how September is the beginning of the year for me (and I think most people) but for anyone new to this corner of the internet, I’ll sum it up by saying “I’m a big fan of making changes when they need to be made… rather than waiting for some special day on the calendar” though I’ll concede that some dates are special.

I’ve spent a good portion of my life wishing things were better while doing precisely nothing about it and wondering why things weren’t getting better despite my lack of effort. Then at 37 years old I started putting one foot in front of the other, resulting in losing 166 lbs, starting this blog, and taking my art seriously, and just generally doing a good job – even when doing things I hated. These things all resulted in a better and more fruitful life – but they also resulted in an adjustment of my sights, which made for more wishing… which made for more thoughtful execution.

So, I still wish for things. I just have better follow-through now.

I’ve developed a plan for things that I’m reluctant to talk about at this time, but I’ve taken on a long-term goal-oriented project that I’m creating the time for in my life. I’ll admit that it’s an artistic goal, and that I’ve been laying the groundwork for it for some time now, by way of proliferating artworks and other songs “ahead of a schedule.” When I say “ahead of schedule” I mean that there’s a certain timeline-oriented expectation for creative works with my rock & roll band, and due to our own efficient execution of things, we’re in a position where we can take on this ‘side quest‘ (for lack of a better term).

It’s something we’ve been talking about as a band for some time, and we’re putting it into motion now. It’s exciting, but it probably won’t see the light of day for a couple years.

But… it started with a wish.
And it developed into a pie-in-the-sky dream that we’re determined to see come to fruition.

I genuinely hope you still have wishes, and that you can muster up the gumption to make them happen. Following your dreams, no matter how big or small they might be, is a full-time commitment and a ton of work – and for most of us, it tends to have to happen in the off-hours when you’re burnt out from working too much, when you haven’t slept well, and you’re poorly nourished. it’s a true exercise in fortitude but nobody is going to do it for you.

It’s hard, and anyone who tells you it’s not hard is trying to sell you something.

So, I hope you don’t wait for it to happen – coax it out and help it along, and it will repay you with the energy you need to keep going.

intellectualizing an emotional response

“Few things happen without thought, and of course the conscious decision to be more grateful, loving, caring, and open has to take place in the brain first, but the practice of getting there is similar to any other training you can put yourself through.”

How often do we ‘should’ ourselves…

We see it all the time in our bird’s eye view of impassioned online debates – the kind of debates that make you want to log off forever and throw your electronic devices into the sun: the battle of scientific fact vs. feeling. These debates don’t have winners in the traditional sense, just people who endure longer than others before locating the ‘block’ button.

‘This is a scientific fact’ vs ‘this is how someone feels’ knows no boundary. Everything from Covid-19 vaccines to whether or not Pluto is a planet seem to illicit both an intellectual and an emotional response, but when are these actually appropriate in our daily lives?

I don’t mean online. If anything, I’d advocate for abstaining from such online debates.

Interestingly, there’ve been studies done to show that although we live and work in a time when there are readily available data analytics for everything (as is the byproduct of having computers so central in our lives), that in professional settings, the extrapolation of such data is either (a) not done in the first place, or (b) completely ignored in favor of a gut-decision made by a manager or executive who largely relies on personal experience as rationale. The studies are often cherry-picked after the fact in an effort to back up the boss’ decision, but typically only in cases where the decision is under scrutiny.

In our personal lives, emotional responses typically make their home around joy, patience, kindness, gentleness, gratitude, and the like – but we as humans are masters of intellectualizing our responses to this just as much as we are masters of emotionalizing math & science. Questions like “Am I showing enough gratitude, and how can I respond better?” or “What are some ways I can be more patient?” do come about, and no doubt come from a good place – but may end up being a little too heady to be genuine. As well, topics like the climate change debate get confirmed or denied based on how we feel about making changes to our daily lives more than any scientific data that’s available.

Few things happen without thought, and of course the conscious decision to be more grateful, loving, caring, and open has to take place in the brain first, but the practice of getting there is similar to any other training you can put yourself through. For example:
– I don’t think about running: I just go for a run at a predetermined time of day for a predetermined distance.
– I don’t think about protein intake: I plan my meals ahead of time, and rest knowing I’m getting what I need when the time comes.
– I don’t think about meditation: I meditate.

These are all things that require some forethought or planning, of course, but when the time comes to actually do them, the infrastructure is already in place for me to do them. I might think about them anyway (or obsess, if we’re being totally transparent), but I really don’t need to do so, in the same way I don’t need to think about what I’m wearing to work tomorrow, because there’s a dress code / uniform and that decision has been made – but I’ll take 20 long minutes to determine what T-shirt I want to wear on a day I’m not scheduled to work only to get dog drool on it in less time than it took to select it. Perhaps my selection of cool T-shirts is too expansive and overwhelming. Nah.

In the end, if I want to show more gratitude for what good things come my way, then I need to begin by acknowledging and appreciating what I have here & now, and not not be too concerned with what it looks like from someone else’s perspective. Love, patience, kindness, and gentleness require similar action – being loving rather than thinking about being loving, being patient rather than thinking about being patient, showing kindness rather than thinking kind thoughts…

If my heart, mind & body are in alignment, then my genuine response will speak for me… and ultimately will require no thought whatsoever.

Training this week has been good. Hard… but good. I have a real desire to push my body to it’s ever-moving limits and I feel satisfied when I get there, but being properly fed is an important piece of that puzzle that I need to prioritize. I’m typically in a slight calorie deficit but sometimes that means ‘running in the red’ a little bit. I almost never feel it during the workout, but the recovery time that follows the workout can feel like a real slog so I need to make sure I’m giving myself enough of what I need to repair my muscles between workouts… which is protein.

We also tried a new smoothie this week that blew my mind and highlighted some things I’ve been missing in my daily food consumption – namely: kale. It gave me the boost of energy I needed to really push my limits at the gym, and reminded me of the importance; not only of diet, but of a varied diet.

As an aside, I’ve also missed a run or two this past week – largely due to forest fire smoke blowing into Edmonton from southern BC. It’s been hard not to reprimand myself for missing these sessions but I’m at no risk of falling off the wagon here… my practice is strong and I can handle an extra rest day here & there provided my calorie consumption is in check. It’s important to remember that there are no training days… only training weeks and training months, and that there IS room to move within my program.