Tag: run

progression

I write a lot about progress. I wonder if it’s because on some subconscious level, I’m never where I want to be. I’ve read enough to know that the general consensus among spiritual gurus and self-help authors alike is that “in order to move forward, you must be happy where you are.“

I know. Right away I see the flaw in that line of thinking… “If I am happy where I am, I won’t want to go in any direction, even forward,” except that movement is not an option – it’s mandatory. We are always moving. There is no staying still, because even if you were to stay still, the world would pass you by.

They say you can never step in the same river twice – not only because the water is moving, but because you are always in a state of flux and growth. The only thing we can do is recall memories, and even those are fairly random, and viewed through the lense of someone who’s progressed beyond that moment.

Such is the case with training.

I have shirtless progress photos of myself from 3 years ago, and at the time I was building to something, toning and training and chiseling away at a physique that; now, as I look back, was there the whole time. And as hard as I train, as long as I run, and as heavy as I lift, I can’t go back there because I have to live here, and now.

The reality is that here, and now, I am stronger than that former version of myself that I often envy. My muscles are bigger, my chest is broader, my stamina is better and my determination is stronger, my nutrition is more in-tune – so then why do I continually focus my gaze on the extra fat that my torso and thighs carry when I am so much more advanced in other ways? Why do I focus on the parts I don’t like?

And even while focusing on this singular attribute that I have decided is negative, I know I am happier than before. Beyond what I’ve listed already, my mind is stronger and more determined, my experiences are more vast, my relationships are further along, and the people in my life are older and wiser, too. And as I carry on, so will all of these things… and that little layer of fat will take care of itself in time, because I am diligent, and determined… and there is no finish line, or off-season.

I need to give myself a break.
Just today.
But tomorrow… I go for a long run.

acceleration

I’m back on my training bullshit. Sorry, not sorry.

When everywhere you look, you see people sliding into complacency with their brains and their physical bodies, whipping yourself into shape is an act of rebellion. Endurance sport is punk rock, despite the chosen attire worn by runners. I don’t make the rules.

I let my endurance training slide over the winter in exchange for a more aggressive weightlifting routine and the results are in. I am broader-chested and slightly bigger all around in both the desired ways and the undesired ways. That is to say, I’m cutting now… and I’m cutting hard. I’m currently averaging between 19 & 24 kms per week, 3-4 days per week, and lifting weights twice per week still. I’m also cycling wherever possible, which will include trips to the studio, as well as other mud-laden adventures though the river valley.

Spring came early, so I’m on bonus time and I’m seizing every opportunity.

I got a smart watch last year. A Garmin forerunner, which is great for multisport, and I’m working through a program that adapts to my weekly & monthly progress and sets challenges for me the following week. It monitors heartrate, sleep score, energy expenditures through the day… ultimately it’s the first plausible use for artificial intelligence I’ve actually come across, by way of a digital personal trainer.

My target event, at this point, is the Edmonton Marathon race day. I’ve told it that I’m training for the half marathon, but I haven’t yet told myself that. I suppose I have no reason not to do it other than the fact that races are hard. I’m still mulling that over, I guess.

All that aside, I’ve recently turned a corner in my physique. My body is getting to my desired shape & form, and I’m able to do some pretty amazing things in regards to distance and endurance.

It’s having a positive influence on my writing and composition as a musician and creator as well. I’m consistently writing meaningful and thoughtful pieces of music and poetry that are taking shape as songs that may one day see the light of day. It’s amazing to watch these things come about in front of me.

It’s a real testament to feeding my brain and my body the good stuff they require in order to get the desired result. Good, clean, plant-based foods and thoughtfully written books and songs, balanced with the time required to process and digest all of it. Add sunlight & water.

It’s like taking care of a plant.
I am a plant.
Hopefully I bear fruit.

motivation

I’m motivated. And I’m inspired.

… but there’s something to know about inspiration and motivation, and that is that they are temporary. I am currently a little heavier than I want to be, and it’s a strange place to be because I ultimately chose it.

I don’t mean that in the sense that I ‘chose to eat a dozen cupcakes‘ but I did choose to put my endless cardio on the shelf for a bit so that I could focus on developing muscle, and the good news is that it worked. The bad news is, that when you eat more – yes, even healthy food – and lift more, muscle is not the only thing you gain… so it’s time to cut – and cut I shall.

I’ve been doing some HIIT training a couple times a week over the past couple months amid the heavy weightlifting, which has been great, but a few years ago I hit on something that I’m particularly good at (for better or worse) and that is jogging. I can run in Zone 2 (heart rate zone, that is) for swaths of time, to the point that at the end of February, I thought I’d just ‘see what I can do’ since it had been a while since I’d put in a long-ish run.
I ran 8km.
It took about an hour.
First run back after a winter of lifting weights.

I’m sure you can tell by the way I phrased that, but I’m happy with that. That’s essentially the pace I left off at when seasonal allergies took me out of the running game in the fall. I now do it 3 times a week… longer when I can, but really, between weight training 3 times per week and running 3 days per week, I’m pretty full-up.

It’s also as spiritual as it was before.
I’d almost forgotten how connected I feel to myself, and to my environment when I’m doing this – especially outside. To push myself closer to the ever-changing limit of what I am capable of is such a magical place. I’m not heading into the river valley just yet, because to fall on the ice is to endanger my artistic life, but I can’t wait.

I also have some light bike repair to complete before getting back into the mud on my mountain bike, but that’s coming soon, too.

I do everything I can to quell the winter blues, and ultimately I do a much better job of that than ever before, but that doesn’t mean that springtime isn’t massively optimistic time for me.

I’m so ready.

At this point I’m flirting with the idea of entering a race, but in the end what I really want to do is just run. Run for me. Do I need an event to stay on track? Not really. Would it be fun? Probably.

I guess I’ll have to see what my summer gig schedule looks like.

just lucky

I’m aware of my privilege… more and more all the time. In the past few years I’ve managed to reach the age where this whole fragile and flawed system by which we live is set up for me to succeed – at least as much as is possible in the wake of unsustainable financial devastation left for us by our boomer ancestors.

I live in a nice little house in an up-&-coming area of town, I have a partner I scarcely deserve for a myriad of reasons, and a well-mannered and intelligent teenage kid who is turning into a very thoughtful and smart adult. I drive a good vehicle. I have a vintage hobby car and a stable full of excellent guitars. I write rock & roll songs and I record and perform them with some very talented musicians, and I get paid more handsomely than ever before to do that. Sure, I have a day job, but it’s a very good one, where I am treated well and have influence. I supervise some very cool people, and we make each other’s lives easier whenever possible. Things will continue to get better and better.

I guess this is optimism.

As this gets posted, I’m actually in the middle of a 3-day mini-tour of Southern Alberta. We played Calgary on Thursday, and Castle Mountain Ski Resort last night, and today we’re en route to Lethbridge before heading home on Sunday. We’ll be heading home with money in our pockets, and we’ll begin making a new record when we get there.

Once upon a time I fantasized about this life. A recent phone conversation with an old friend reminded me of that… which reminds me, I should call him again.

I’m truly grateful for what I have and where it’s going.
If everything halted in it’s tracks and this is exactly what my life was until I died, I would be content. This is what it is to be happy, I think. I once heard someone say “the only joy you find on the summit of Mount Everest is the joy you bring with you” and I believe this to be true.

To illustrate that point, I deal with a ton of bullshit every day at work, every time I turn around I feel like I’m handing someone else hundreds of dollars, my personal time is precious and fleeting at best. Corporations and family members alike are bleeding me dry and I don’t sleep enough. When something comes up, my early morning routine and my finely tuned diet are the first things to go, which results in me feeling fat and unhealthy during times when I need the opposite to be true. I spend too much time in hotel rooms. I work long hours…

… you get the picture. This is called realism.

Even so, I’m so aware of the great things happening in my life that none of those complaints hold any real weight. I realize this is a choice I’ve made. Happiness is a choice, and reminding ourselves of the positive perspective that we’re allowed to have is a choice.

Realism & Optimism. Why do we think about these words in contrast? Why is the ‘realistic’ view such a negative way of looking at things when the great things we have in our lives can easily be identified as ‘real’?

I don’t think we need to be all pollyanna about everything, necessarily, but the notion that ‘where your treasure is, your heart will also be‘ becomes a pretty strong statement when people constantly dwell on the negative. Our treasure is our focus – so if we focus on the darkness, we can expect our hearts to go dark as well. It’s for this reason that goal-oriented people tend to be magnetic and inspiring.

The time for hibernation and doom-scrolling will be over soon.
We’ll be able to go outside and feel the sun again.

discomfort

I don’t know if it’s been a particularly trying time, or if it’s been business as usual and I’m dwelling on things that need not have that level of attention. As I take a step back, it’s business as usual, but what’s unique to this time is the vehicular challenges I’ve been facing.

My faithful Ford Ranger (read: capital R, lower-case ‘anger’) pickup truck died on me a few weeks ago, and through some combination of stubborness and mental and emotional fortitude, I have still not sought the help of any professionals in this field. It’s a problem I want to solve on my own, and I have the skills to do it, but what I lack is the time… so as my neighbors quietly judge me (maybe), I continue to try things, test things, replace things, and audibly swear. For those who care, there’s no spark, and I’m close to having tested and/or replaced the entire ignition system, so I must be close.

The insult that’s been added to that injury is that someone thought it might be a good idea to drill a hole in my gas tank and steal the ingredients. They likely made off with about $20 of my full tank, allowing an additional $75 worth to drain into a nearby manhole, and if my impending gas tank patch job doesn’t work, a $1000 part to order and install. I’d rather they’d have taken my catalytic converter, as is the Edmonton tradition. That’s a problem I can solve on my own.

So in the meantime, I’ve been driving my 1962 Ford Fairlane 500. An absolute gem of a car that I love dearly, but it is a project car, and it’s age is showing in some regards so I’d rather not be leaning on it as hard as I have been lately. It’s my love for that car that has taken time away from fixing my truck.

The icing on the cake is that my mountain bike also needs parts… it’s functional, and a lot of fun to ride, so not really a concern… but still, literally every vehicle I own is in a state of disrepair.

The lesson here is probably patience. Most lessons tend to have patience as; at very least, and undertone. Really, I’m finding that I am too busy and my life is too full to really take the time required to solve required problems. This is something I aim to remedy. My girlfriend and I are making a conscious effort to stop & smell the roses, and really enjoy the summer while it’s here. I’ve certainly earned a lovely tan while running in the early morning sun and working on my old-ass house, my old-ass car, and my truck that is getting older & older-ass as we go, here.

At any rate, if all goes well, I’ll be driving my choice of selections from this small fleet of vehicles by the time this blog entry gets posted. In the midst of it all, I still managed to write an absolute banger of a honky-tonk rock & roll song called ‘one problem at a time‘ which maybe you’ll get to hear sometime next year.

Until next time…

mindful action

I recently heard a comedian talk about ‘mindfulness’ and the buzz around that word in the context of being aged in a tech-forward time. He’d stated that the notion of being mindful wasn’t a thing 30 years ago because if you had to ride the bus somewhere, all you really had to entertain you was the other people on the bus or the view out the window, and if when you got where you were going – say, a movie or something – and the person you were meeting got there 20 minutes later than you, your only option was to wait.

You might have had a portable music player but they were so horribly inefficient at that time that you might get 4 hours of cassette play out of a set of batteries, and that carrying around what would eventually be a dead walkman was actually a hassle.

So you were forcibly “in the moment” more often than not.

Now, we have mass distraction whenever we want it. We have a casino, weed shop, strip club, 24-hour sports channel, and tabloid in our pockets at all times and we can constantly see what other people are doing, or even spend an incredible amount of time planning and uploading a selfie.

We have the option to never be in the moment again, as our brains can constantly be elsewhere.

This is why art is so important to me.
When I’m writing this, it’s all I’m doing.
When I’m playing guitar – for people or not – it’s all I’m doing.
When I’m running – it’s all I’m doing.

I’ve long time been a proponent of delving into a thing – running, for example – and being in that state as long as possible, connecting with nature and seeing what can happen at the edge of my capabilities, but I’m coming to understand that it’s more than that.

It’s also meditative, and present.

If I’m not present when I’m running, or riding a bike, I fall. If I’m not present when I’m performing or practicing, I give a lousy performance. I have to be focused and meditative in order to get the job done.

If I’m driving a car while looking at my phone, it’s incredibly dangerous – yet people still have massive struggles with putting the phone down and being present… and as far as I can see, it’s because they’re out of practice. Even in conversation with someone else – if we are watching my phone at the same time, we’re cheating both parties out of this experience and fellowship, and possibly even showing disrespect.

Mindfulness is a muscle that needs to be exercised, not only to keep it strong, but to prevent it from becoming week.

It might sound crazy – even after 3 years of writing this blog, but I’m 42 years old and I’m (still / again) learning how to be alone with myself.

nature boy

I like to run. It fills me up.

I’ve been going for a few years now and it’s brought so much joy into my life – not only to run – but to run outside. At this stage of the game, climate notwithstanding, if I can’t run outside then there’s little point to running at all. So I run outside, even when the weather sucks, and I haven’t run less than 5km this year. Typically I shoot for 10 or more kilometers but there’s been a few 8km loops since that takes me around an hour.

This can take a round of of my legs, meaning I only really get to do it 3 days a week… which makes me want to go even longer. I typically do between 20 & 35km per week and that’s slowly turning into 25-40km.

So, in conjunction with the old half-marathon training program I’ve been revisiting, I’m also revisiting the old triathlon training program… and getting on my bike – again, generally a rain-or-shine outdoor activity. It allows me to destroy the other parts of my legs that running doesn’t kill.

I’ll get back to swimming eventually, too.

The key here, is being outside.
I’m not a fan of running on an indoor track, though I’ll do it. Same goes for stationary bikes. I hate treadmills.

The spiritual connection to nature I feel when I’m pushing myself to exhaustion and delirium while being immersed is addictive. I don’t have to be on the edge of exhaustion to enjoy nature, or to feel that connection, but there’s something magical that happens when you’ve depleted yourself and poured out all of your energy, all of your emotion, all of your sweat, all of your stress and cuss-words and anxiety and frustration until you’re completely empty and ready to be refilled by the hand of God, and just then the hand of God arrives and gives you music and poetry and breath.

I’ve tried my share of man-made things to help me feel this euphoric, but our species just doesn’t have the tech to make this happen without also killing us simultaneously… and our species also can’t beat the price.

Nature is all around us.
Nature is us.
And one of the most short-sighted things we ever did was decide to view ourselves as separate from nature.
If we saw ourselves as the extension of nature that we are, we’d behave much more differently to each other and to our environment.