Tag: diy

vibration

I’m sure I’m not alone in my observations here, but my social media feed has devolved a few notches in an effort to show me content that does not align with my values at all… and by that I mean the advent of artists talking shit about other artists in an effort to… I don’t know, raise their own profile?

I move in country music circles a bit, so I’m speaking primarily about this Gavin Adcock character, whom I’ve never heard of before a few weeks ago, who has grabbing headlines by talking shit about Charley Crockett and Zach Bryan. I won’t get into the back-story because the back-story isn’t the point. The point is that I have now heard of Gavin Adcock, a man who’s decided to take issue with the ‘authenticity’ of other country singers to the point of publicly slinging arrows at Charley Crockett, who has said nothing and continued to just do his thing, which includes making records and entertaining fans.

Since then, Zach Bryan (another country singer) and Paul Cauthen (yet another country singer) have decided to weigh in on a discussion that never involved them in an effort to grab some headlines as well… Bryan going so far as to climbing over a chain-link fence at a music festival to confront Adcock.

I hate this.
This is Trump-style politicking within the arts community.
These people should be creating community and art and propping each other up rather than tearing each other down.

Since then I’ve seen some other musician I’ve never heard of is taking similar shots at Yungblood in hopes of netting a similar result.

This is some low-vibrational shit.
I hold nothing but contempt for so-called ‘reality TV’ and do not wish to see it permeate culture more than it already has. It’s done irreparable damage to our artistic media already, and only serves to distract us from our purpose on this planet.

We should be creating or supporting.

Just take care of each other.
Build each other up and support what you love, and leave what you don’t love alone. There’s so much amazing stuff being created every day and this soap-opera drama is negatively impacting our lives, even if we don’t realize it at the time.

This is not normal or healthy behavior.

Create or support.
Those are our only real viable options here… make something, or support someone else who’s making something.

Increase your vibration.

what you are

I’ve regurgitated this piece of philosophical knowledge so much at this point that I don’t really know where I heard it anymore. However; I’m not so sure I’ve written about it here despite how frequently it comes up in conversation… so I feel compelled to share it with you now.

You don’t get what you want in this life.
You get what you are.

If that doesn’t immediately make sense to you, I assure you it will, and I hope you hang onto it the way I have.

I spent a good number of years longing for things like… artistic encouragement, and opportunity… things like respect and appreciation… to be surrounded by people who understand me and work as hard on their art as I do… people who are even keeled and professional.

A bunch of years ago, I said fuck it, and went for it – I played with the best players I could find, I played with prolific songwriters and I recorded in pro-level studios… it got better and better. Eventually I decided to stop playing with everyone (as hard as that was) and put all my eggs in one basket – The Confusionaires basket. Since then, things have been going progressively better. The Confusionaires are equally yoked. Jayson & Adam work just as hard at their craft and the extra stuff they bring with them into this band as I do, and the hard work has shown over the course of 3 full length albums, 3 EPs, and the recording we’ve started to do that will come out next year.

We work with an incredible mixing engineer.
We work with an incredible booking agent.

Similarly in my non-musical life, as I delve more into philosophy and fitness I find myself aligning more with well-read, healthy individuals. They find me and I find them… some of them are old friends, and some of them are newer folks who’ve come out of the woodwork. Some are family who have always been there, but we’ve grown closer.

The other side of this coin is that people who are not good for me and my psyche, people who are not good for my art-life, people who are volatile or unsafe… they’ve stopped running with me and are standing in the dust, making their way to the sidelines.

In the end, we find our people.
It takes time… like sedimentary rock makes layers over thousands of years.
Musicians find musicians.
Artists find artists.
Vegans find vegans.
Athletes find athletes.
… and… drunks find drunks.
Abusers find abusers.
I believe this is the natural order of things but it gets so much more granular then that.
People who are moving the culture forward find each other, too.
And the naysayers… get left behind.

Similarly, and possibly even by default… the lowlifes and negative forces find each other too, likely as the positive people in their lives move on ahead.

So it’s good to look in the mirror every so often and take inventory of who you are and where you are. If you don’t like where you’re at, then it’s time to move… because; again…

You don’t get what you want.
You get what you are.

environment

I think about the environment a lot this time of year. Not just THE environment, but MY environment, and not just THIS time of year, but ALL times of year… I just think about it more affectionately this time of year because it’s not actively trying to kill me at this time.

I’ve said it in this blog before, and although I cannot credit myself with saying it first, I will repeat it: The biggest error the human race ever made was to view itself separate from nature. A grievance I can take up with the church quite easily, but not something I can fix, especially by complaining about it.

I get into Edmonton’s river valley almost every day in the warm months. There’s a path down into it less than a mile from my house, and between dog walks, recreational running, and mountain biking, I can say I am down there between 4 and 7 days per week… and even when I travel for work, most major Canadian cities have a river or two flowing through them, and I go find those, too.

In Edmonton, you don’t have to go far into the valley to feel like you’ve left the city, and if you’re down there pushing your own body’s boundaries, it’s not hard to find god – and by that I mean the infinite wisdom of the universe more so than the variety of idols adorning every temple under the sun.

I’ve dabbled with meditation; of course, but for my money, getting into nature and losing yourself is the best way. I like to get my heart rate into it’s beloved Zone 2 and see what god has for me – often by way of a message in a podcast or a new song, because my environment includes a level of privileged technology, though I wish I weren’t so married to my headphones. They have a tendency to distract me just as much as they inspire me and I’d like to be more of an antennae for creativity than a consumer of it. I suppose it can be both… and now that I think of it, it is both.

I don’t ride my bike with headphones. That’s as dangerous as it is uncomfortable. And I’ve been blessed with many songs, visions, and ideas on those rides.

I receive so much from my environment, and from the people and creatures that share it with me. It’s not enough to know that we are made up of the same cosmic stuff, but once we remove the man-made concepts of space and time, we are literally THE SAME stuff, all of history existing at one time, all creatures with no space between them.

If we looked at eachother with that in mind, I can’t help but think that none of us would find reason to kill another, be it for resources or religious differences.

This line of thinking reminds me why I am vegan.
Not that I need a reminder.

I’m not sure what this blog entry is about.
Perhaps it’s a reminder to myself what my role is here.
Maybe this entry has inspired something in its readers.

I hope I never find out.

whatever you want

I have it pretty good.

I don’t take that for granted. I understand that outwardly, I’ve got a really great life. Middle management support role for a big company that works with things I’ve very interested in, a great house, a great family, a killer rock & roll band that people care about… I drive a cool car… I’m in good shape… I’m 43 years old and on zero medications…

I take none of this for granted because I’ve worked very hard to have all of it.

What if it was all gone tomorrow?

I’m no stranger to the notion; or rather, the assumption that “we’re all just a couple paychecks away from homeless” and the privilege-check we’re all constantly called to do.

But I’m really not a couple paychecks away from homeless.

I mean sure, misfortune could befall me and my family. My life could fall apart in biblical fashion the likes of which have only been alluded to in the Book of Job… but in the end I’ve concocted a combination of skill and fortitude that have set me on a track of progress. I have come from nothing and built what I have, and I can start from nothing and build what I have again.

What nobody wants to tell you anymore is that you can do whatever you want.

Nobody will stop you. They might not help you, but it’s pretty unlikely that they’ll get in your way. And this… is how I know I’m not done. I haven’t written my book yet, and there’s always one more rock & roll record in me to make… the only thing I don’t have is a short-cut.

I read somewhere; multiple places, really, that you need to be happy where you are in order to move forward. That used to sound contradictory to me because if I was happy where I was, I would stay in that place… but no, that’s not true. I actually am very happy where I am because where I am is in a constant state of growth and evolution.

I love being in a state of change for the better… and if I can stay in this growth mindset then I will never be in the same spot again, and I am happy with that.

Whatever you want.
You can do whatever you want.

balance

I am always searching for balance.

I have goals to look a certain way, perform to a certain level, run certain distances, eat a certain way, write songs to a certain standard… in amongst working and sleeping and being an attentive adult / father / partner / employee, it doesn’t take much to knock it all off kilter.

So, I have to stop and take stock of where I’m at.

It comes down to what kind of life I want to live.

If I could have everything I wanted, I’d be a Ironman Triathlete who played 250 shows per year to 10,000+ audiences, and have a personal chef, and would train 6 days a week… but it would be a solitary life, surrounded by people and close to noone.

If I trained for an Ironman, I’d have to put my rock & roll band on ice for a while. Any vacation time I had would be spent training. I’d hardly have time for my family because all I’d be doing was training, eating and sleeping.

If I were to chase bigger crowds with my music, I’d likely have to scale back my training, and spend more time at the right parties, socializing, and I’d compromise my health and the quality of my art.

If I lean into my daytime career, I’d likely crater my band, and possibly alienate my family doing so. I wouldn’t train much at all and I’d eat in restaurants and sleep in hotels far too much.

So I try to live my life in the middle… and my life in the middle is pretty great.

I’m 43 years old. I am on 0 medications, and have 0 health complications to be concerned with. I am available to people who need me, including my employer, I have great artistic output with top tier musicians and we do things the way we want them to be done.

All this to say, I am grateful for what I have, and I am happy where I am – because where i am is in a state of progress. I am moving forward in my life and in my art, not backward. I train hard, and I eat like an athlete… but there’s still room in my life for a vegan donuts. I play rock & roll and write songs constantly… but I’m still home for dinner and a dog walk. I work hard, but I’m still available to my family and my friends.

I’m serious.
But I don’t take myself too seriously.

I’ve been trying to find balance for so long that I almost didn’t recognize it when I found it.

room for the miracle

I like a plan. I tell my daughter this all the time… “If you have a plan, and the plan changes, then everything is fine – you just adjust and move along. But if you don’t have a plan, and things change – it can really derail you.“

I’ve known people who make plans that are set in stone. It’s impressive to me when people have that kind of resolve, but the people I’m referencing are generally “not good with change” and I’ve seen the ugly side come up when complications arise.

I’ve similarly known people who are ultimately aloof. Nothing is much of a concern, and they take life as it comes, but they aren’t necessarily working towards anything specific, either.

The life I want to live is in the middle.

Having plans & goals moves me forward. The next training session. The next event. The next song I need to write. The next record I need to record. The next tour. All of these things require planning and execution… but all of them have uncertain outcomes. The only thing I can plan is to make an effort. The outcome is not something I can anticipate… just as I can’t anticipate who will be there to witness it.

Therein lies the miracle. The unanticipated outcome. The opportunity to do something extraordinary. To my mind, being married to the outcome is just as dire as never embracing the opportunity. This life has a different pace than that of the aloof person, or the high-strung person, and as much as this life is a hybrid of both, neither of them will really understand how it works. To have a solid plan and be open to all possible outcomes… and all possible outcomes of all possible outcomes.

It’s occurred to me as I write this that an element of being a dreamer or a romantic is crucial to this lifestyle, and in 2025 that’s a difficult thing. People all around us are bogged down with news of international politics instituting muzzle velocity peppered with bullshit clickbait designed to keep us shopping and snacking. It’s truly disheartening to see people dulling their own shimmer by concerning themselves and stressing over things they cannot control.

If I can encourage anyone to do anything… it’s to dial back their content consumption and to go spend some time near trees and/or water and/or mountains for as long as they can, as frequently as they can. That spiritual connection with our environment is crucial to our well-being, and as much as that connection does involve other people, it does not involve arguing with those people in a comment section.

Anyway…
I hope to see you out there, in nature.
In the middle.
Where the miracle is.

indecision

Self-awareness seems to come with age. I recently reminded myself of this, as I my long-time digital companion, my Samsung Galaxy s9 cellular telephone died its forever death… it seems that technology has advanced a bit over the past 7 years since I made my last decision about what kind of phone I want. Prices of these things have also advanced significantly… so in my stubborn way, I found a phone that will do almost everything I want it to, and I paid $156 for it. The remaining couple of things it doesn’t do just weren’t worth another $900 (or more) to me.

However, delving into price and feature comparisons, reviews, and forums to figure out which cheap phone is the best for me is a ridiculous exercise. Comparing companies you’ve never heard of in your life against each other, and peppering in reviews from people who likely expect WAY too much from a cell phone in this day & age is not a hobby I recommend undertaking, especially when hundreds of dollars are potentially on the line, objectively.

One thing I DID know, though, was that once I made a decision, i had to pull the trigger fast. Once a decision is made, and the ‘buy now’ button has been pressed, I know for a fact that I can close countless google chrome tabs, and put the ordeal out of my mind completely, because I won’t be able to do ANYTHING until the device arrives and I put it through the paces.

It might sound really dumb… but it’s a massive sense of relief.
Even though for the moment, I am phoneless… I am not completely unreachable and a solution is being couriered.

I felt a similar relief when I decided not to run the Edmonton half-marathon this year. I mean… I still, might. Nothing’s final until it’s final. But I have resolved to be okay with not running it, because I am prioritizing a more well-rounded fitness regimen.

In other words, I am not training for that specific event.
I am working more towards a tri-sport centric physical goal, and I do not want a finish-line to be a part of the process. I aim to train right into the fall months with a mix of running, biking, and lifting weights, and ading in some swim time when possible (i.e. when I don’t have a fresh tattoo in the healing process, as submerging fresh tattoos is a real good way to get infected). Through next winter, there will also be brick-sessions, which are a segment of cycling followed by a segment of running.

I’ve achieved a lot since I started this journey, and this blog for that matter – and although I ran the half-marathon in 2022 in under 2:15, my favorite training program was for the olympic distance triathlon course that I ran on my 40th birthday.

So… back to basics.