another spin

I suppose it’s that time now.

If I’m being completely frank, I’m entirely satisfied that the interruption of my regularly scheduled food regimen and workout schedule is coming to an end. The holiday hours at my gym are less than ideal and at the risk of sounding like a total grinch, the notion that Christmas is ONE SINGLE DAY that seems to infringe upon us from December 20th until about January 3rd is irritating.

I like Christmas. Don’t get me wrong… but I feel like I am one of the few that acknowledges that traditionally, Christmas Eve is the day that a family would go out and cut down some unsuspecting sapling, then on Christmas morning the kind would open their (singular) present, and play with their newfound toy until dinner was ready. Boxing day is a tradition by which leftover food would be ‘boxed up’ and taken to the cornerstone of every community – the church – where the less fortunate folks go go enjoy a meal of leftovers…

… and that’s ultimately it.

What my brain knows about this holiday season, and what my credit card statement knows about this holiday season, are vastly different. My credit card statement’s knowledge of the history of christmas only goes back about 30 days.

It’s fine. I’m happy everyone had a nice christmas, and honestly, I had a nice Christmas.

I don’t live to work out. Nor do I live to eat.
I eat and workout to live.
And taking breaks is an important part of living.

But… now it’s time to get back into my regularly regimented program of eating nutrient-dense food and beating the absolute shit out of myself at the gym. My goals for the new year haven’t really changed much. My athletic goals are an augmented update of the previous year, and my artistic goals are an augmented update of the previous year… and with each passing year those things are more and more important.

My goals need to be steady, really. I’ve got a teenager in my house who is going to finish high school, become a legal adult, and enroll in a post-secondary program that will set her up in a better way than I ever was. Ultimately, I’ll be riding shotgun for those huge steps in amongst my own smaller old man steps.

I’m lucky I get to do that.
I’m stoked for it.
I’m sure you’ll get to read about some of it.

Happy new year, y’all.
All the best in 2026!

holidays

I try to be transparent in these posts – I really do – though I’m cognisant of the fact that; although I think or feel a certain way when I’m sitting at my computer with a coffee and a peaceful house around me, sometimes the follow-through of my namaste demeanor out in the real world is… let’s say… harder to spot in a crowd.

It’s that same contrast that allows us to identify that Christmas is the season of giving while simultaneously road-raging our way to-&-from the mall on a Saturday afternoon. So, in that way… It’s not even a thing I’m willing to apologize for… because we are a complex and messy race; we humans, and are worthy of a little grace and understanding.

But it’s in that very lack of apology that I must also allow people to be people… and generally speaking, people are panicky, stressed out, over-caffeinated, under-slept, hangry, and financially maxed out at the best of times, but December adds it’s own layer of chaos to the mix that tends to result in an additional element of ‘unpredictable.’

That’s fine.
All most people need is a little space, I think.
And a sandwich.

This phenomenon isn’t relegated to strangers. There’s a good chance that your friends and people in your family are behaving erratically as well – and after a recent observation, roughly 1/3 of people (an American statistic, but how different could Canada really be?) are estranged from their families or members thereof.

I think a lot of people are shocked when they hear a family member is estranged, but as someone who has put distance between myself and certain members of my family (in the past, for a good while) I can honestly say than any time I’ve heard that someone has chosen to do this, I’ve congratulated them on making an obviously very difficult decision to take care of themselves first. When an airplane loses cabin pressure and the oxygen masks drop, you are instructed to put your own mask on before assisting others, and don’t think this metaphor is out of place here.

There are also seasons to everything.
The end of my estrangement situation came with the death of a parent’s partner.

I guess what I’m taking the scenic route around to saying is that the holidays are just as hard as they are magical – and it’s okay for the holidays to be both hard and magical… so as we close in on the most hellacious part of the whole ordeal, I hope that whatever your Christmas or Christmas-adjacent plans might be, or where they might take you, that you find some peace, love, and hope.

I also hope; on a more personal level, that you choose to celebrate without harming any of our fellow earthlings – the ones who can’t speak up for themselves. Veganuary can start ANY TIME.

Happy whatever-you’re-into, everyone.

the end of the year

It’s coming up quick… resolution time.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, then you know I couldn’t care less about resolutions, particularly around the new year. I’m a firm believer that the new year starts when you make a change in your life, not the other way around.

I became vegan on March 28, 2000. That was the start of a New Year.
I started working for the company I work for in September of 2011. New Year.
I started training for a triathlon in September of 2021. New Year.

Usually for me, it’s in September or October – which; as I type this, I realize I missed the anniversary of me starting this blog. I guess I’ve been too focused on making the changes I’ve wanted to make to stop and look around at what I’ve accomplished. And… that’s okay… it’s okay that I missed it, and it’s okay that my focus was elsewhere.

I do what I can to stay in the present moment… just like my dog.
He’s a constant reminder of the present moment.
He’s hungry when he’s hungry, he wants to play when he wants to play… not a moment before or after. When we’re walking and I have to pry chicken bones out of his mouth, he’s mad at me in the moment – but a moment later, he’s over it, and he reminds me of this, because I am still pissed off about it moments later, and he’s very irritatingly past it. I strive for this.

However, when I’m making plans for the future, and celebrating the past, I’m not in the moment. I’m living in the future or the past – but rarely the present.

That’s what I want.
More and More, I want that.
But I’m staring at my phone too much.

I actually make my living in nostalgia, both in my day job and in my art… but when I’m playing LIVE, or in the throes of MAKING a record (which I am currently involved in) I am IN the moment and it’s amazing.

And as I typed all that, I was in the moment.
That’s why it was a bit of a tangent.

Anyway… nostalgia is okay.
The past and future are okay.
There’s no shame in thinking about those things, I guess.
We’re geared to think about those things.
But to be truly in the moment is magic.

Not staring at my phone.
Not thinking about how long I have to wait until the snow melts.
Not thinking about New Year’s resolutions.

In the here and now.
And right here, right now, it’s Saturday Morning.
Isn’t that amazing?

to those who wait

I’m generally a pretty patient person, though I do have things I get excited about. However, “good things come to those who wait” has always been a phrase that irked me.

I understand the virtues of patience, but I have to say that whoever coined that phrase must have lived under a system other than capitalism, because around here, “good things come to those who get their hustle on” is much more accurate.

That said, I’m also not a hustler. My motivations in my daily life include a work-life balance that is generous on the ‘life’ side of the scale, and honestly if I was more motivated by money, I’d have more of it. I am motivated by time, though… and I enjoy a career position that rarely; if ever, inhibits my family time or my music making time. This is how my life is structured and I’m eternally grateful for it.

The real reason “good things come to those who wait” has nothing to do with any of that though, so much as it pertains to sitting on your ass waiting for good things to happen to you, which is flawed for reasons I shouldn’t have to point out, but I will anyway:

I believe good things happen to you when you’re ready.

The life I enjoy now, I have earned. Not only through hours worked or records made or gigs played, but through personal growth…
– books not only read, but taken to heart…
– miles not only traveled, but endured…
– lessons not only learned, but shared…

To say I got what I have by sitting and waiting is a massive understatement for what I have achieved in the meantime.

I’m reminded of a conversation with a friend that I used to describe how I wanted my life to be, and it’s the life I have now. I didn’t necessarily see it the way he saw it – from the 3rd person perspective – but he did show me not only how I have it, but how I built my life up to it.

I’m eternally grateful for the people in my life who remind me of these things, and that I didn’t just wait around for it to happen to me.

getting it

At this point, I have a number of daily practices. I’m a bit of a creature of habit when I’m home, partly because when I’m not home, I need to adapt. This is fine, and I have no problem doing it because it’s part of a greater plan, but when I am home, I keep it pretty rigid.

I was recently reflecting on the pandemic times with someone, and was reminded of the practices I had in place that have gone by the wayside, though many are still in place after several years. Then I began to reflect on all the podcast episodes and audiobooks I’ve digested since then.

I’ve really dug into philosophy and self-betterment over the past 5 years as a vegan, and longer, actually, as I was already on my spiritual journey when I came to veganism (though that was a big turning point). The rub is that once these things became part of my modus operandi, I didn’t have to focus on them specifically anymore.

I don’t have to think about stoicism because I’ve adopted it.
I don’t have to think about veganism because I’ve adopted it.
I don’t have to think about not drinking alcohol because I’ve adopted it.
I don’t have to think about endurance training or weightlifting because I’ve adopted it… they are a part of what I do. I do not thinkk about the merits of doing or not doing any of these things because the decision has been made a long time ago to do them.

It’s easy to think about the morning journaling and evening yoga practices that fizzled out after the pandemic, when demands on my personal time resumed, but it’s somehow less easy to think about the practices I have that stayed with me because they’ve just become part of what I do. Even so – as I type this and mourn my lost evening yoga practice, I suddenly remember that a Yoga Nidra practice gets me to sleep every night.

I also have to trust myself – something I’ve struggled to do for years, because I was not trustworthy for a long time. I couldn’t be trusted in a room alone with a box of donuts not that long ago, so this trust has come slowly, but at the base of my being I can always trust that I am doing my very best. I know that, because we are all doing our very best. So now I must trust that since I have tried all of these practices and some stuck while others didn’t, that the ones that didn’t just weren’t for me.

That is to say, just because someone wrote a book about daily journaling doesn’t mean that I have to journal daily. I journal weekly… and you’re reading that journal now! I also write songs with both frequency and urgency… so to say my writing practice has fallen away isn’t a fair assessment, either.

At any rate… this recent reflective time has shown me that; although there are miles to go before am finished, I am getting it. There are always things to try and things to stop trying… but I have to trust myself to hold on to the important stuff and filter out the suggestions that don’t mean so much to me.

I’m getting it.


The irony of this post is that despite trying my very best, I somehow managed to overlook the fact that last week, I didn’t manage to get anything posted. It was going to be a songwriting featurette but I just didn’t get it done in time.

So for the first time in 3 years… I missed the mark. Ahh, well.

world vegan day

Today… it falls on a saturday this year, so I get to actually write about it in the present tense! Today is a day celebrated by somewhere around 1% of the population – World Vegan Day – where we can congratulate each other on our efforts and remind ourselves that there’s always something more we can do to minimize our negative impact on the planet and the other Earthlings we share it with.

I know not everyone reading this is vegan, and as someone who became vegan at the age of 38 and spent a good while resenting veganism and many of it’s supporters, I do get it. Not everyone is ready and equipped to take this step at this precise moment in time.

I understand that vegans are an easy bunch to hate on, but for us it’s a catch 22. We constantly see posts online stating that “vegans are preachy” and “Q: how do you know if someone’s vegan? A: you don’t have to ask, they’ll just tell you.” thereby making it IMPOSSIBLE for a chill vegan to say anything without becoming the stereotype, when the truth is, the number of meat-eater responses to vegan posts that are just “bacon” or some tone-deaf and uninformed meme being passed off as actual information is far more antagonizing than any vegan comment I’ve eve seen – and I’ve seen a lot.

Truth be told, I’ve filtered posts with the words ‘vegan’ and veganism’ from my facebook feed intentionally because these comments are irritating, the images of factory farmed animals and abused animals posted in invoke a sympathetic like or share are too intense for me.

I primarily go online to be entertained, and the further I get into middle age, the more I realize that I long for the days when we were given actual, objective news and then expected to form our own opinions on what was happening in our world. At this point, I’d estimate that 95% of the internet is opinions posted by attention seekers who are under-qualified to speak on anything, let alone the subject they’re speaking on.

And although we’re all out here confirming our own biases, I will say that what first led me to become vegan was not animal rights (though that does align with me now – it just wasn’t the first thing that attracted me).

It was a health journey.

I truly believe that; depending on your goals, a conscious, whole food, vegan diet with a balanced macronutrient intake is the best decision most of us can make for overall health and longevity. This is based in scientific study. No, I won’t cite sources, but I will recommend some documentaries below.

I won’t say that veganism is the only way to be healthy, but I will say that a macronutrient-balanced whole food diet is the best way to simultaneously be healthy and minimize your carbon footprint. A whole food Vegan lifestyle is ideal for recovery and prevention of heart attack, stroke, dementia, digestive problems, skin problems. All the natural antioxidant (cancer preventing) foods are plants. The easiest way to follow the alkaline diet is by being vegan.

I didn’t lose 166 lbs on a vegan diet.
I lost 151 lbs on an omnivorous (meat eater) diet.
THEN I lost 15 lbs on a vegan diet.
… Then ran an olympic length triathlon course, and a half marathon.

I kept the weight off, and maintained an active lifestyle for 5 years (so far).

I currently weight 210 lbs, I have a resting heart rate of 46 bpm, and my blood pressure is textbook. I regularly run between 10km and 14km, bike 25km of trail, and can swim 1500m, and lift weights regularly. People regularly forget that I am vegan because I (a) don’t preach about it much, and (b) don’t look like your stereotypical vegan.

You can do whatever you want… if you’re open to change.

Happy World Vegan Day.


VEGAN DOCUMENTARY RECOMMENDATIONS:
Forks Over Knives
The Game Changers
They’re Trying To Kill Us
What The Health
Seaspiracy
Cowspiracy
Christspiracy

… and if you can handle it, Earthlings.

what you are

I’ve regurgitated this piece of philosophical knowledge so much at this point that I don’t really know where I heard it anymore. However; I’m not so sure I’ve written about it here despite how frequently it comes up in conversation… so I feel compelled to share it with you now.

You don’t get what you want in this life.
You get what you are.

If that doesn’t immediately make sense to you, I assure you it will, and I hope you hang onto it the way I have.

I spent a good number of years longing for things like… artistic encouragement, and opportunity… things like respect and appreciation… to be surrounded by people who understand me and work as hard on their art as I do… people who are even keeled and professional.

A bunch of years ago, I said fuck it, and went for it – I played with the best players I could find, I played with prolific songwriters and I recorded in pro-level studios… it got better and better. Eventually I decided to stop playing with everyone (as hard as that was) and put all my eggs in one basket – The Confusionaires basket. Since then, things have been going progressively better. The Confusionaires are equally yoked. Jayson & Adam work just as hard at their craft and the extra stuff they bring with them into this band as I do, and the hard work has shown over the course of 3 full length albums, 3 EPs, and the recording we’ve started to do that will come out next year.

We work with an incredible mixing engineer.
We work with an incredible booking agent.

Similarly in my non-musical life, as I delve more into philosophy and fitness I find myself aligning more with well-read, healthy individuals. They find me and I find them… some of them are old friends, and some of them are newer folks who’ve come out of the woodwork. Some are family who have always been there, but we’ve grown closer.

The other side of this coin is that people who are not good for me and my psyche, people who are not good for my art-life, people who are volatile or unsafe… they’ve stopped running with me and are standing in the dust, making their way to the sidelines.

In the end, we find our people.
It takes time… like sedimentary rock makes layers over thousands of years.
Musicians find musicians.
Artists find artists.
Vegans find vegans.
Athletes find athletes.
… and… drunks find drunks.
Abusers find abusers.
I believe this is the natural order of things but it gets so much more granular then that.
People who are moving the culture forward find each other, too.
And the naysayers… get left behind.

Similarly, and possibly even by default… the lowlifes and negative forces find each other too, likely as the positive people in their lives move on ahead.

So it’s good to look in the mirror every so often and take inventory of who you are and where you are. If you don’t like where you’re at, then it’s time to move… because; again…

You don’t get what you want.
You get what you are.